changing sons last name

[rebecca_jensen6]

I live in North Dakota and my ex husband moved to Washington state. He rarely pays his full child support. We have been divorced since my son was 4 months old and he is now turning 6. His bio father rarely calls and sends an email on his last bday to say tell him happy bday. My son, now entering K and learning to write his name, wants to write his daddys last name and not bio dads name. Can we let him do this legally? Do we have to go through formal court to get a name change? I would rather not involve bio dad as he would then be 'interrested' in my son and not allow it to happen.

 

[tigger22472]

If your son is going to a private Kindergarden then you may be able to let him use you(i assume) husbands last name. However for him to go to a public school he will have to use his bio-fathers name. I have to express to you however that even though you said you "rarely receive full support" be happy that you get any and that he does contact him for his birthday. The big questions are does he keep enough contact that your son knows who he is or does he fill your son's head with lies and promises. Also, you say that if you ask him for this he will become "interested." Coming from experience I know this doesn't always work however would it not be best if your son can have TWO dads that care and love him???

 

[qtpie]

If you want to promote the surname of your husband, that is your business. However, be warned that until the child is 18, your ex (since he IS the father) is entitled to school information according to FERPA (Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act) unless you have a Court Order barring him from this information.

Hopefully, you plan on keeping the father updated on the progress of your child's education. But, even if you don't, he can get access by contacting the school and requesting this info. By law, the school must comply.

If your child were to use your husband's surname, and the school would send the bio-father any papers with your child signing his name that way, the bio-father CAN take you to Court (if he really wanted to) and have you explain to the Judge why he is not using his legal name. A Judge may also ask you what you have done to encourage a healthy relationship between the father and child and why you are encouraging the child to use a different last name.

What you do is your business. I'm just warning you that it CAN happen. Been there. Done that.