Changing the visitation schedule ourselves

[buka]

Minnesota

Child is 10 and he sees NCP every other weekend. Child is unhappy with schedule -- he feels like his life is interupted every 2 weeks and he does not spend time with NCP even when there. NCP works all weekend but has two days off during the week. CP is thinking of proposing a change in visitation schedule to be agreed upon by both parents without going to court. Maybe one day after school every week and then just one full day w/overnight and morning pick-up every other weekend??

Do any of you out there have experience with creating a visitation schedule that might actually work for the child and the parents? We're looking for suggestions to see what maybe has or has not worked for others. We would like child to actually see NCP when visiting and maybe make the whole thing easier on everyone. Also, if anyone has experience with writing up an order change outside of court, your advice would be helpful as well. Thanks.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

A visitation schedule is very personal in nature, and requires all specific information on both parties in order to give you an answer. Your information is not specific enough, really, for any of us to give you a schedule - - it would require too much "back and forth" on a bulletin board like this to efficiently help you. So, get together with the NCP and try to work things out on your own.

One little tip though. Your private agreement will be worthless without having it approved by the court. The court has jurisdiction over the child, and you can't take that away from the court. The court already has approved the current schedule. With a private agreement, and one that hasn't been approved by the court, should anything happen between the parties concerning the non-approved schedule, don't even begin to think that the court will help you.

Work out a new schedule, and submit the same to the court for its approval and "blessing".

IAAL

 

[buka]

Thank you for your reply. You're right about the schedule being personal, I was just hoping someone might have experience with making a visitation schedule that was less disruptive to the child's life. We want to have as much info as possible before proposing anything to NCP.

 

[LegalBeagle]

Always write personal agreements on soft tissue paper so that you can use it again one day.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Thank you for your reply. You're right about the schedule being personal, I was just hoping someone might have experience with making a visitation schedule that was less disruptive to the child's life. We want to have as much info as possible before proposing anything to NCP.

My response:

It's not so much about "our" experience. Take me, for example - - I've been practicing Family law for about 18 years out of my total of 21 years in the practice of law.

But, when you say, "[We want to know about] making a visitation schedule that [is] less disruptive to the child's life", that would be an impossible task for any of us until such time as you, and I, had a lengthy "sit-down" discussion about you, your lifestyle, your working conditions, your free time, and many, many other points that would need to be covered.

In other words, without more specific and detailed information about you, there is no "magic schedule" - - therefore, and from a bulletin board such as this one (like I said earlier), you and I would be going back and forth far too many times to come up with something that would be ". . . less disruptive to the child's life."

So, realizing these limitations, all I can suggest to you is that you and the NCP hash this matter out yourselves (because who knows you and the NCP better?), or obtain the services of a court mediator to help the two of you.

We all wish you and your child good luck and good fortune.

IAAL

 

[missjasmine]

In my state you can do a Stipulated Order Modifying Visitation Schedule which both parties sign and if the judge agrees, then he'll sign it. It sounds like your ex is open to suggestions which is good. He realizes that the current schedule isn't working and wants to spend time with his child. My advice to you though is if you're not comfortable with the modification, don't sign it.