DysfunctionalU
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA
Hey there,
I have full custody of my son- father has every other weekend visitation, three weeks in summer, half of winter break, and we are supposed to alternate holidays.
Our son turned three in October- he is very smart, playful, observant..
When we went to court a two years ago, I was babysitting for money and lived in a government apartment. The father had a full time job, another child, and a new wife (we were never married).
Things that have changed:
I moved closer to family and into a non-government apartment which I afford in full with my new job.
I work mostly weekends with one or two days during the week, but the longer days are scheduled when my son is away.
I am a full time student but my classes are 7-9 every day and are over before our son is even awake for the day.
My dad watches him for free when I am gone but I am still home the majority of the time he is awake (if I work nights I might leave at 5:30ish and he goes to bed at 8)
I have been stable here for almost two years now.
The father has moved four times in two years (documented). Differences in distance vary between 15 minutes and two hours. (Court order issued when we lived 45 minutes apart from each other)
The father may not have a job now.
The father moved into a house with a convicted murderer.
When visitation began our son was happy to go with the father. He even cried when his father dropped him off at home. His father would always laugh and say, "Funny how he doesn't cry for you."
NOW I drop our son off at his house on my way to work (an hour earlier than the court order) and our son pitches the worst fit. This last time he ran away from me and got back in the car screaming, "No, mommy! Go go! GO GO!" I hate leaving him like that.
But it is his fathers weekend. I do think this is a phase, though.
Generally.. his father either cancels weekends or switches A LOT. He did not take his three weeks last summer and refuses to work with me on the holiday scheduling.. the way the papers are.. he got literally every major holiday- Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now Easter.. and I get them all this next year. I thought it would be more even if we could agree to alternate like we were supposed to but it was a no-go. One of my worries is that he will cry foul this next year when it is my turn.
Anyway..
I was at work today- and he knew I was at work.. I do a lot of deliveries and I use my phone as a GPS so the notifications are right there..
He started texting me. He is saying that our son being so upset is because of "excessive exposure" to me. That its bad, unhealthy. My ex came from a really bad home situation where both of his parents gave him to his grandparents- and I mean literally kicked him out and sent him on his way. He is trying to say that it is the same situation and comparing me to his parents. Saying that the schedule given to us by the court is "MY" schedule and it is obviously not working.. then accusing me of not letting him babysit our son when I work. If I knew his work schedule (I am assuming because of this statement that he is unemployed) then I might have asked. He rarely ever answers me if I have a question.
At the same time.. I have no idea if it is him texting me or his wife. She has a tendency to stick her nose into all of it.
My major question would be: In a setting where the parents cannot get along (I have tried everything i can think of) and where we cannot agree on how to raise our child (undermining, differenting parenting methods).. if the order were revised would joint custody be a possible outcome? And by this I mean PHYSICAL- 50/50.
Now that I am reading all the messages again.. I really think it is the wife sending the messages. She uses bigger words- he doesn't. Sigh..
Other than that.. Can I just ignore any and all messages from him unless it is an emergency without it looking bad on me?
Hey there,
I have full custody of my son- father has every other weekend visitation, three weeks in summer, half of winter break, and we are supposed to alternate holidays.
Our son turned three in October- he is very smart, playful, observant..
When we went to court a two years ago, I was babysitting for money and lived in a government apartment. The father had a full time job, another child, and a new wife (we were never married).
Things that have changed:
I moved closer to family and into a non-government apartment which I afford in full with my new job.
I work mostly weekends with one or two days during the week, but the longer days are scheduled when my son is away.
I am a full time student but my classes are 7-9 every day and are over before our son is even awake for the day.
My dad watches him for free when I am gone but I am still home the majority of the time he is awake (if I work nights I might leave at 5:30ish and he goes to bed at 8)
I have been stable here for almost two years now.
The father has moved four times in two years (documented). Differences in distance vary between 15 minutes and two hours. (Court order issued when we lived 45 minutes apart from each other)
The father may not have a job now.
The father moved into a house with a convicted murderer.
When visitation began our son was happy to go with the father. He even cried when his father dropped him off at home. His father would always laugh and say, "Funny how he doesn't cry for you."
NOW I drop our son off at his house on my way to work (an hour earlier than the court order) and our son pitches the worst fit. This last time he ran away from me and got back in the car screaming, "No, mommy! Go go! GO GO!" I hate leaving him like that.
But it is his fathers weekend. I do think this is a phase, though.Generally.. his father either cancels weekends or switches A LOT. He did not take his three weeks last summer and refuses to work with me on the holiday scheduling.. the way the papers are.. he got literally every major holiday- Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now Easter.. and I get them all this next year. I thought it would be more even if we could agree to alternate like we were supposed to but it was a no-go. One of my worries is that he will cry foul this next year when it is my turn.
Anyway..
I was at work today- and he knew I was at work.. I do a lot of deliveries and I use my phone as a GPS so the notifications are right there..
He started texting me. He is saying that our son being so upset is because of "excessive exposure" to me. That its bad, unhealthy. My ex came from a really bad home situation where both of his parents gave him to his grandparents- and I mean literally kicked him out and sent him on his way. He is trying to say that it is the same situation and comparing me to his parents. Saying that the schedule given to us by the court is "MY" schedule and it is obviously not working.. then accusing me of not letting him babysit our son when I work. If I knew his work schedule (I am assuming because of this statement that he is unemployed) then I might have asked. He rarely ever answers me if I have a question.
At the same time.. I have no idea if it is him texting me or his wife. She has a tendency to stick her nose into all of it.
My major question would be: In a setting where the parents cannot get along (I have tried everything i can think of) and where we cannot agree on how to raise our child (undermining, differenting parenting methods).. if the order were revised would joint custody be a possible outcome? And by this I mean PHYSICAL- 50/50.
Now that I am reading all the messages again.. I really think it is the wife sending the messages. She uses bigger words- he doesn't. Sigh..
Other than that.. Can I just ignore any and all messages from him unless it is an emergency without it looking bad on me?
