Child care in shared custody

[ookabooka]

What is the name of your state?
new jersey
My ex and myself have shared custody of our daughter. Our agreement states that if either parent can not fulfill their parenting time as stated in the agreement the other parent must be given the "first and earliest opportunity to care for the child" during that time. I have on numerous occasions complied with the agreement and been told by him that he has up to the last minute to decide therefore I am unable to secure care. On the latest occasion he told be weeks before that he would not be available to watch her on a Monday. 5 days before ,after I had secured alternative care, he said he might be able to. I said I had made plans for her care and that care was provided by a grandmother. He is now saying I violated the agreement and I could be fined or locked up. What is considered a reasonable amount of time to alow him to make a decision and after a decision has been made can he change his mind at the last minute or a few days before and expect me to just fall into step with his new plans?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?
new jersey
My ex and myself have shared custody of our 1 daughter. Our agreement states that if either parent can not fulfill their parenting time as stated in the agreement the other parent must be given the "first and earliest opportunity to care for the child" during that time. I have on numerous occasions complied with the agreement and been told by him that he has up to the last minute to decide therefore I am unable to secure care. On the latest occasion he told be weeks before that he would not be available to watch her on a Monday. 5 days before ,after I had secured alternative care, he said he might be able to. I said I had made plans for her care and that care was provided by a grandmother. He is now saying I violated the agreement and I could be fined or locked up. What is considered a reasonable amount of time to alow him to make a decision and after a decision has been made can he change his mind at the last minute or a few days before and expect me to just fall into step with his new plans?

What is a reasonable amount of time depends on how far in advance that you start talking to him about it. If you know 2 weeks ahead of time then a reasonable amount of time might be a week. If you know two days ahead of time then a reasonable amount of time might be 12-24 hours.

However, you certainly aren't going to get fined or locked up in this scenario.
He said he couldn't do it, he tells you 5 days ahead of time that he "might" be able to do it after you already made plans grandma....he is in the wrong on this one. On top of that, the time with grandma could easily be considered extended family visitation rather than child care.