Child Custody battle getting uglier - Defamation of Character???

[Yankee49ers]

District of Columbia. I'm the Plaintiff in the third year of a custody battle with my daughters mother.

After 4 two-hour sessions, then 3 more 2-hour sessions of mediation a year later, the defendant is still trying to prevent me from spending quality time with my daughter.

Late last year, after a hearing awarding me Joint legal and joint physical custody with 50% of the time, my daughter's mother's bitterness started to show it's ugly head.

Instead of us working together so we can move forward, the defendant has submitted a motion to suspend the overnight stays with my daughter based on several harsh allegations that totally not true (i.e. inapropriate behavior (hinting towards malestation), physical and emotional abuse to the child, and several other flat out lies).

Is this common behavior in child custody cases? Would it be worth my time to sue for defamation of character or is this just something I need to ride out and hope that the judge sees her behavior for what it is once we eventually go to trial?

 

[stephenk]

what does your attorney say about the allegations?

 

[Yankee49ers]

Rising above nonsense.

My attorney suggested that we should not attack her as she is attempting to attack me, but should remain focused on what's best for my daughter in this case. He thinks with her bitterness being so bad that she could make these types of allegations after every visit for several years.

It's just hard to remain focused and patient while these allegations are being thrown at me. I was just wondering if I sue for defamation of character would she think twice about throwing lies out there... especially if there would be possible repercussions if proven not to be true.

 

[stephenk]

sure you can sue, but then it just costs you more money and the recovery is slight.

 

[dallas702]

Very common. Sad, despicable, harmful to the child as well as the parent....but very common. Worse, some attorneys will "suggest" this crap to their clients as a last gasp. Good judges see through this ploy quite easily. Unfortunately, too many of them will not do anything about it. Your attorney is correct, but he should be alerting the judge to the false claims, and should ask the judge to take some kind of action against her. That's not being retaliatory, but rather it's to ptotect everyone concerned. Bitter or not, your X doesn't have the right to do this. I am always annoyed at how many judges allow this behavior without consequences to the accuser. More of them need to be at the other end of this type of action so they'd know how hard it is to defend it.

Defamation can't really take place unless these false accusations are made public, and then cause you damage. Apparently, most family court judges don't care about the mental stress you incur. A good PI lawyer can tell you if have a compensable case.

Has she made the charges formally (police, child services, etc)? Most states have laws against filing false police reports. Maybe she will go too far and put herself in legal jeopardy that way.

But...you say this has been happening "for years"? Is your lawyers name Casper Milquetoast? Your X's motion gives you the opportunity to blow her out of the water by showing just how far she will go to "alienate" you from your daughter. That's one term you need to throw back at her. Intentional alienation, not in the best interest of the child, causing mental distress...blah, blah, blah. It's time for your lawyer to earn his fees.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Dallas,

We don't know what is true and what is not with this poster. You can take his word in this post, but I lean towards, "And if it is true"?

 

[dallas702]

Interesting. Having been a "victim" of a manipulative and vindictive ex (and her unethical lawyer), I know how hard it is to disprove the negative and defend yourself from serious lies. My kids knew the truth and eventually all came to live with me. Sometimes there is justice, but not within the court.

But you do have a point. I am hoping OP is being honest and will get justice (along with his daughter).

 

[Yankee49ers]

Thanks.

Dallas702,

Thanks for the response. I'm glad to hear that this is common and I'm hoping that the judge will be able to see through what she's doing.

She has not made any charges formally. This is why my attorney is recommeding that 1) we get a deposition so we can get her under oath so she can explain in detail her allegations. 2) We're requesting a GAL so that my daughter's best interest are looked out for (I'm hoping this works in my favor because a neutral third party would be able to see through all of the nonsense and 3) we've requesting a trial date as soon as possible so the entire story can be told, not just her nonsense.

I googled and found this forum for 3 reasons. 1) To get a second opinion. 2) To see if me suing for Defamation of Character would help her to think twice about these crazy allegations if there would be possible reprecussions. 3) To see if this type of behavior is common in custody cases... especially if the case isn't going the other party's way.

The truth is the only thing I do have on my side and I'm hoping that with a trial date being set soon, that the truth will come out for everyone to hear.

Thanks again for the good advise.

 

[dallas702]

Truth is half the battle. Good representation is the other half. It sounds like you're on the right track. Don't give up.

 

[badapple40]

There is something more fundamental going on here, and that is absolute immunity. She cannot be held liable for in-court statements or statements made in pleadings she submitted to court. I know it sucks, but this is to protect the judicial process so that folks who tell the truth are not silenced by threats of libel.

 

[Yankee49ers]

Wow!!! Thanks bad apple. I'm getting a taste of law 101 for sure. Absolute immunity??? So she's free to make allegations all day long until my daughters 18, or at least old enough where she can talk for herself.

My current push is for an immediate hearing and having a court date set shortly thereafter.

Update: I filed for contempt against her for not making my daughter available during my scheduled weekend visit a few weeks ago. She wasn't home, nor did she answer the any of her phones.

Still with no communication whatsoever, I just found out that she's filed for contempt against me for God knows what. I'm convinced that this will continue until I get her on the stand under oath so she can explain some of this behavior. It's definitely piling up and I'm documenting everything.