Ok here is my story.
My husband, and his ex had a son. a year later they were separated and he filed for divorce. During this separation dh has his son every other weekend and every tuesday night and wed night. There were times, documented in a journal dh kept that showed bm keeping the child away for weeks at a time.
My husband had the child when it was time to evacuate for RITA, but it was the day we had to give him back to bm. Bm evacuated to alabama with ds, and dh went to mississippi. 2 weeks passed and it was time to come back home. We get a phone call saying that bm went to oregon, where her mom is. She said in writing by certified mail that she would be back in 6 weeks. There was very minimal damage to the duplex she was living in, and we know this because her dad owns it, and he told us this.
Any way as time goes by, bm decides she is going to stay in oregon because she likes it there. Note that there was plenty of work in her field, as a waitress, and her home was by all means livable.
Dh got an atty and a court date was set. Well bm was ordered to let dh pick ds up at the airport, and take him back to la. until the court date. She refused to meet him once he got there and he had to end up renting a car, and all kinds of extra expenses.
Court date gets here and all it is is a hearing to set trial for custody. The judge orded bm and dh to come up with some kind of temp visitation aggreement between them during the 51/2 months before trial. So dh told bm that he would have him for 3 months, and then she could come get him until the court date.
During the tree months he was with dh, bm called maybe 15 times, and might have talked to ds 8 times. But anytime she called, i always let her know how he was doing and kept her updated on him. Bm even decided to have a heart to heart with me.
Well for the 2 weeks before bm was supposed to come get him she didnt call. when she got intot own she called and asked when she could get him. We met for the exchange and all went smoothly.
well bm gets back to oregon, and decides to basically cut off all contact with everyone in her family, including her mother who lives in oregon. Every bit of extended family ds has is here, except for his grandmother he doesnt see in Oregon.
She only had a prepaid phone, so we sent her a pre paid phone with time on it, for dh to be abe to stay in touch with ds. It was important to dh that he have frequent contact. Bm starts using phone for her personal use and lied about it, even though we have phone records. She made over 500 calls. and out of the 150 times dh attempted to contact his son, she answered or called back 12 times.
The last contact we had was when bm sent a text message(her only form of communication) saying that if dh wanted ds for fathers day then dh was going to have to go get him in oregon, even though fathers day is the day before court.
i questioned bm about this wondering if maybe she wasnt going to show up for court, and she said she thought fathers day was a week earlier and she was trying to be nice. She said she was coming in on fathers day, the 18th...court is on the 19th.she also is court ordred to pay for ds transportation, but made it clear she wasnt. That she only had to pay half.
So this made us wonder since she knew she was coming in on the 18th if she bought her ticket and not ds. ANyway we told her of course we want him a week early, and we had to pay for his ticket. We still are wondering if she is going to show up.
I just wonder what a dads chances are at getting primary custody in a situation like this. Oregon is 3000 miles away.
Also bm has a known drug addiction problem that she has never gotten help for, im not saying that she is on drugs becasue i do not know, but it just seems strange that she has isolated her self from all her family. She also has ds going to several different babysiitters, because she has to work so much. She has already lost one job waiting tables, and is struggling now with a new job.
My husband, and his ex had a son. a year later they were separated and he filed for divorce. During this separation dh has his son every other weekend and every tuesday night and wed night. There were times, documented in a journal dh kept that showed bm keeping the child away for weeks at a time.
My husband had the child when it was time to evacuate for RITA, but it was the day we had to give him back to bm. Bm evacuated to alabama with ds, and dh went to mississippi. 2 weeks passed and it was time to come back home. We get a phone call saying that bm went to oregon, where her mom is. She said in writing by certified mail that she would be back in 6 weeks. There was very minimal damage to the duplex she was living in, and we know this because her dad owns it, and he told us this.
Any way as time goes by, bm decides she is going to stay in oregon because she likes it there. Note that there was plenty of work in her field, as a waitress, and her home was by all means livable.
Dh got an atty and a court date was set. Well bm was ordered to let dh pick ds up at the airport, and take him back to la. until the court date. She refused to meet him once he got there and he had to end up renting a car, and all kinds of extra expenses.
Court date gets here and all it is is a hearing to set trial for custody. The judge orded bm and dh to come up with some kind of temp visitation aggreement between them during the 51/2 months before trial. So dh told bm that he would have him for 3 months, and then she could come get him until the court date.
During the tree months he was with dh, bm called maybe 15 times, and might have talked to ds 8 times. But anytime she called, i always let her know how he was doing and kept her updated on him. Bm even decided to have a heart to heart with me.
Well for the 2 weeks before bm was supposed to come get him she didnt call. when she got intot own she called and asked when she could get him. We met for the exchange and all went smoothly.
well bm gets back to oregon, and decides to basically cut off all contact with everyone in her family, including her mother who lives in oregon. Every bit of extended family ds has is here, except for his grandmother he doesnt see in Oregon.
She only had a prepaid phone, so we sent her a pre paid phone with time on it, for dh to be abe to stay in touch with ds. It was important to dh that he have frequent contact. Bm starts using phone for her personal use and lied about it, even though we have phone records. She made over 500 calls. and out of the 150 times dh attempted to contact his son, she answered or called back 12 times.
The last contact we had was when bm sent a text message(her only form of communication) saying that if dh wanted ds for fathers day then dh was going to have to go get him in oregon, even though fathers day is the day before court.
i questioned bm about this wondering if maybe she wasnt going to show up for court, and she said she thought fathers day was a week earlier and she was trying to be nice. She said she was coming in on fathers day, the 18th...court is on the 19th.she also is court ordred to pay for ds transportation, but made it clear she wasnt. That she only had to pay half.
So this made us wonder since she knew she was coming in on the 18th if she bought her ticket and not ds. ANyway we told her of course we want him a week early, and we had to pay for his ticket. We still are wondering if she is going to show up.
I just wonder what a dads chances are at getting primary custody in a situation like this. Oregon is 3000 miles away.
Also bm has a known drug addiction problem that she has never gotten help for, im not saying that she is on drugs becasue i do not know, but it just seems strange that she has isolated her self from all her family. She also has ds going to several different babysiitters, because she has to work so much. She has already lost one job waiting tables, and is struggling now with a new job.