Child Custody, Verbal abuse question.

[ViperBite4]

Hi I live in Upstate NY, My girlfriend has a 2 year old daughter with Joint custody with the father. She has physical custody of the child. The father takes the child for a visit two nights a week for an overnight, usually picks her up after her bedtime and then returns her in the AM. The father is always calling the mother and verbally abusing her. Threating to sue her, calling her whore and slut, stating that she is an unfit mother who doesnt know how to take care of her child and so forth etc. etc. He is a very cruel and demeaning man. These instances happen on a very routine basis. The concern here is great, my girlfriend is terrified for her daughters safety whenever the father takes her. Is there any legal action that should be taken in this situation?

Thank you
Adam

 

[JETX]

Though I don't understand your position of verbal abuse of the mother putting the child in danger, I am more concerned with the welfare of the child being put in the middle of this situation between these two 'parents'.

Before you decide what, if any, action to take, you need to document the claimed verbal abuse. Put a tape recorder on the phone (Radio Shack has an inexpensive setup), record all of his calls. (Note: I don't know what the NY laws are about admissability of one-sided audio tape, but that is not important... record the calls anyway!). Also, make a written note of the time and general tone of all his calls.

Once you feel that you have sufficient proof of the verbal abuse, you can consider filing an amended petition with the courts. IMHO, your best hope is to emphasis the potential hazard of the abusive father toward the daughter, not toward your girlfriend (after all, she is an adult, not a helpless child).

 

[crager34]

be very clear

If you can document the abuse towards the child, you have something. However, you and the courts cannot change the personality (no matter how idiotic) of a person.

 

[LadyBlu]

Hi I live in Upstate NY, My girlfriend has a 2 year old daughter with Joint custody with the father. She has physical custody of the child. The father takes the child for a visit two nights a week for an overnight, usually picks her up after her bedtime and then returns her in the AM. The father is always calling the mother and verbally abusing her. Threating to sue her, calling her whore and slut, stating that she is an unfit mother who doesnt know how to take care of her child and so forth etc. etc. He is a very cruel and demeaning man. These instances happen on a very routine basis. The concern here is great, my girlfriend is terrified for her daughters safety whenever the father takes her. Is there any legal action that should be taken in this situation?

Thank you
Adam

NY is a one party state for recording conversations.

http://www.aclu.org/issues/cyber/phonelaw.html
Gather as much evidence as possible then petition the court for a revision of the visitation and custody.