CHILD CUSTODY

[REPOMAN]

I live in georgia. i would like to know how good of a chance that i have of getting custody of my son. his mother lives in a 2 bedroom house with 3 other people. he has to sleep in the bed with her and her black boyfriend. she is now going to have a baby with him they are not married just living to gather. she is trying to tell my son that i dont want him anymore and i dont love him. but that her boyfriend dose.i would like to know how good of a chance i have of getting full custody of him asap.One other thing about money am i looking at i dont care how much just give me about how much. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

[Edited by REPOMAN on 06-01-2001 at 10:03 AM]

 

[Ambr]

changes of custody require a "significant change in cicrumstances". these conditions - are they new or the same when the first order was established?

what do you have to offer the child? how is living with you better than living with mom?

you ask, "One other thing about money am i looking at i dont care how much just give me about how much."

are you referring to child support? was it not established when custody was established? are you asking if you were to receive custody what type of support you would receive?

support is established from the income of BOTH parents. no live ins, step parents income can be used. they have support calculators on line to use. you can find one on http://www.alllaw.com check out the bottom left corner and click on your state.

"he has to sleep in the bed with her and her black boyfriend."

i was scared there for a minute, thought you were going to say he was purple with pink pokadots!

you might want to re-read your posts for future posting, tune it down. you might get a better response.

 

[REPOMAN]

ALL THIS HAS HAPPEND IN THE PASSED FEW WEEKS. I HAVE THE HOUSE HE WAS IN WHEN HE WAS BORN. HIS OWN ROOM. I HAVE EVERYTHING HE KNOWS. SHE HAS MOVED HIM FROM THIS GUYS HOUSE TO THIS ONES. SHE HAS DONE THIS FIVE TIMES. HE TELLS ME ALL THE TIME HE DONT LIKE HER BOYFRIEND BUT HE IS ONLY 4 AND HE CANT STAND UP FOR HIS SELF SO I AM. HER MOTHER OR FATHER BOTH DONT WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HER NOW AND THAT ALSO HURTS MY SON. I DONT THINK HE NEEDS TO GO THRU THIS AT THIS YOUNG AGE. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO FOR HIM.

 

[janM]

I think Ambr means that we need more information. You say you're in the same house as you were when he was born. I take that to mean that you and the mother were a couple then. I also take it that you weren't married.
Was paternity ever established? This may entail a DNA test, or merely having signed the birth certificate. If you go to the local Child Support Enforcement agency they will want to know this. They will set up a case file so you can start paying support, which will look good when you file for custody. I suppose you will need a lawyer to help you there.
It sounds like you have more to offer the child than she does. You may have child welfare look into the situation if it's that bad, or you can tell them that she can't provide a stable home or the basic necessities (you don't mention if she works). If they investigate her that will help your case for custody.
I wish you luck, you definitely have your child's interest at heart.

 

[Ambr]

i agree with jan on the child support issue. you need to get it established and start paying it.

it sounds as if you are wanting to take this to court for modification. if you try to present the living conditions and you are not helping to support the child, it could backfire on you. i could see that she would have the excuse that "this is all i can afford. he doesn't help with support and i am trying everything." see what i mean?

you need to have proof of all the changes in residency. the child doesn't have mom and dad together, he needs something stable in his life. bouncing from home to home is definitely not stable. this would require some work on your part - snoopy doggy dogging is what my son likes to call it you need proof of her residences, affadavit from land lords that she was a tenant, utilities, old room mates, etc.

you need proof that she is bringing men in and out of the home. judges are frowning more and more on live ins with children in the home. it isn't stable for the child if the CP changes mates often. any chance that old boyfriends would give affadavits? old room mates the same thing.

proof of the poor shape of the living conditions. unclean and unhealthy. constant drinking? drugs? anything of this nature. but don't start slinging accusations if you do not have anything to back them up with. it will make you look bad in the eyes of the judge.

you basically want to be able to show how your child would benefit if he were with you. you have lived in the same home for XX amount of time. it was the home were you resided with the mother previously. you have day care provided for when you have to work. that you have family that want to see him and spend time with him. that you are willing to work with her parents on spending time with him. (since they are basically done with her.)

don't totally trash the mom - after all, she is the mom. now, if you want to take action on this, you need to do it soon. it is hard to explain that you think things are so bad, but you have not acted on it.

 

[DChristian112]

I guess the first thing I am wondering is why doe sit matter if the boyfriend she lives with is black, white, purple or green?
Secondly, is the child in danger? Is the child neglected at all? Does the child not get fed or not taken care of?
You need a good reason to retain custody from the mother. If she is proved unfit, she could lose custody, but first paternity must be established, has it been?
It seems a lot of information is left out of this scenario. Is she a good mother? does she mean well? maybe she cannot afford to live in a large house that has a free bedroom for everyone. I live with my two parents and three sisters and I share a room with my daughter, but that is not a good enough reason to lose custody.
Maybe try for more visitation.
On the case of the mother badmouthing you, there is really nothing you can do. The child can decide for himself if he loves you or not, children are perceptual beings and are very intelligent. If you show him you love him and care for him, he will know the truth.
Danielle

 

[REPOMAN]

I WAS MARRIED FOR 4 1/2 YEARS WE GOT A HOUSE WE HAD MY SON SHE WAS TAKING HIM TO MY FRIENDS HOUSE AND LEAVING HIM THERE WHILE SHE WENT AND MEET DIFF. GUYS SHE KNOW HE WOULD TELL ME. THAT IS NOT A GOOD MOTHER IN NOBODYS EYE I DONT CARE HOW YOU LOOK AT IT. WE GOT DEVORICED I GOT THE HOUSE SHE HAD TO MOVE. SO HE KNOWS THIS IS HIS HOUSE AND HIS ROOM.

 

[REPOMAN]

AND I DONT HAVE TO PAY CHILD support. we have joint custy i have him a week and she has him for a week. but what she is putting him is not right he is only 4 and dont need to be mixed up in this race issue she has him in. if all yall can do is to down me because then fine i will not wright here no more i dont think it is right and she should respect me for that i am the father of him i do have right over him and ia am going to use them. i want full custy of him if yall can help me by telling what i need to get it thanks if not sorry. but i have to do what i have to do.

 

[keofjoke]

to repoman

hey man, im going throught the same thing but my x married an x con his crime firing a weopon into a huosehold and indangering the lives of his x wife and son. then went to the scene of the crime and told police he wanted to see if they were removed from the house in body bags. my 10 y/o daughter lives withthis man, he did most of his time, but i still fear for her saftey since i have PROOF that they fight physically and emotionally in front of her.you have to have proof, i have a journal i write in every time i have her, things i hear and see and who said them, police records on both, i know where and when she works, etc. find out anything and everything you can even if it is trivial. find her x lovers, talk to neighbors, go to the court house and find out criminal records on them. if you have shared custody and no support i hope it is in writing if its not get it in writing or start paying her something and keep reciepts keep reciets on everything you spend on him includind household expenses. you have to have PROOF that you are suppoting half his expenses. school records talk to daycare workers on his behavior etc., keep track of his medical records how often does he go to the doctor and for what. His living conditions find someone whos been in there.you wont win just because her man is black but i understand your concerns i live in mississippi. find a good lawyer preferably a woman and work with her. dont ever talk bad about your childs mother in front of him or talk abuot the custody mdification in front of him. dont put him in the middle. it can take a long time to get a judgement iv been in cort since nov 2000, had for court dates and went before the judge once, my case impressed the judge so much he continued it. now we go back in july.

 

[craftymom]

an old standard

I do believe I've seen the following lyrics posted elsewhere on this board, and I'm sure they apply here.
Come on regulars!! Everybody sing!!


" Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed......."


You know the rest, join in!!