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child custody

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from illinois, my daughter has a 5 day old son. the birth father and she were to be married but when she tried to postpone, he went off the deep end and broke it off. my question is, what rights does she have as far as full custody, and though we don't believe he will be a problem with fighting for it, his mother definitely will. what are her rights? he has not been notified of the birth and has called 2 times in the last week to see if she went to the doctor. she doesn't want him to have anything to do with the child, she wants and needs no support. he has asked her on several occasions if the baby was even his and the mother has done the same. he has admittedly done drugs, he has done a lot of drinking in the past and he recently told her he is suicidal. he told her he wanted a paternity test, does he have to go thru court for that and does he then have to pay for the court cost and the testing? what should she be doing to prepare for whatever he or his mother throw her way.


Senior Member
when there isn't a marriage then there isn't the regular father and mother have the same rights.

right now, your daughter has rights. the father would need to establish paternity before he does anything. did he sign the birth certificate at the hospital? after he establishes paternity - then he can seek a form of custody/visitation. they have state facilities that do the testing - for a set fee. the father is usually help responsible for the testing. if they come back that he isn't the dad - there is the chance the mother would have to pay for them.

a support obligation will also come with the custody/visitation request. even if mom doesn't need it - have her stick it in the bank in an account for the child. let it build and pay for a car when they are 16, college, a nest egg to start out life with, any emergencies (god forbid) that might come up. whatever.

unless he can prove the mother unfit - the chances of him taking an infant away from the mother are slim. unless you can prove him unfit - odds are the least he will get is joint legal with every other weekend visitation and holidays rotated. this could be different because of the age of the child. visitation outlines can read almost anything.

during his visitation with the child - anyone he wants can be around the child (unless you can prove that person a danger to the child). if he wants to pick the child up and take it to grandmas he is able to do so.

as for grandma having rights - the supreme court basically ruled them out. stating that mom and dad have the right to decide who is around the child.

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