I recently thought i worked out a plan for my baby's dad to visit him he is in the nicu and the dad asked me notcto sue for chod support and wanted to see his kid so stopped all legal procedding and he hasnt showed once
Well then, you need to legally establish paternity through the courts.
Then you should establish child support. Obviously, catering to his desire for no responsibility has not inspired him to be a thoughtful Dad. Maybe if he's paying child support, he'll be more motivated.
However, you cannot force something to feel/act like a good parent.