Child decides to live with non custody parent

[ServedMinnesota]

What is the name of your state? Minnesota

I tried to seach the forum but did not find a similar question. Perhaps you can help.

Background...

Dick is paying child support and is the non custodial parent.

Jane is receiving child support and is the custodial parent.

Child, female 16 and now 17 yr old, stayed for summer visit and refused to go home with custodial parent. Police were called but police said child could decide what parent to live with. Child said would run away if forced back with Jane.

Dick bribed child to live with him. Car, dont have to switch schools, late hours, live however you want - no rules. Who at 16 would want to go back to rules and accountability?

Jane bought a house with a bedroom and bath and maintains a house for a child that has decided not to live there. There is furniture and everything is in move in condition.

The relationship between Dick and child is rocky. Every 60 days or so, Jane gets a call that child was kicked out but it never happens. So Jane has kept house in state of readiness for a year.

Dick served Jane that he wants to reduce child support as child is living with him for almost a year now, including summer visit.

Dick does not pay for any of childs expenses. Not an exageration... nothing, not even shampoo - that was the deal they came up with. No birthday present, xmas present, food, medical, glasses, furniture, car, nothing. Child works and pays for all own food as part of deal living with Dick. Dick lives in one bedroom apt and child sleeps on couch, no bed. No clothes dresser untill 6 months later found one by a dumpster and hauled it in. Jane is buying clothing, presents, hygiene supplies, shampoo, etc for child.

Question...

Will Dick get child support removed or reduced? Jane is worried she has to maintain readiness as she is custodial parent. At any moment child could come back or Dick could throw her out.

Dick is now working on younger child 2, come live with me and I will not have to pay child support. Party it up.

Advice regarding child support and the upcomming court date?

 

[Zigner]

Who are you in this saga?

 

[ServedMinnesota]

who am I?

I was hoping for some better advice than that. I guess you get what you pay for.

 

[Silverplum]

I was hoping for some better advice than that.

There's a REASON for asking.

I guess you get what you pay for.

Sometimes.

 

[Just Blue]

I was hoping for some better advice than that. I guess you get what you pay for.

You will get excellent advice if you answer the question. I'm guessing your are Dick...

There is a reason it was asked...but if you want to play games feel free to go and hire an attorney to read you Dick and Jane story.

 

[proud_parent]

Child, female 16 and now 17 yr old, stayed for summer visit and refused to go home with custodial parent. Police were called but police said child could decide what parent to live with. Child said would run away if forced back with Jane.

Did Jane produce a copy of the court order for the police? Did Jane file a report with the police to document the children's/father's refusal to see the children returned to Jane's care? Did Jane petition the court to find Dick in contempt?

 

[ServedMinnesota]

makes a difference

Well... it puzzles me why it would make a difference...

No worries... I am Janes new husband. And my angle is that I was talked into buying a larger three bedroom home than what we really need - 2 bedroom.

The child will not listen to reason. She is living like she is on her own execpt dad pays for rent and utilities. I think she is making bad decisions and her grades and schooling are hurting for the experience. She works too many hours and too late at night for my comfort. If she had the maturity for it, I would be in favor of it, if that is what she wanted. But she is making big mistakes. No sense getting into details there. Anyways... my opinion does not mean for crap anyways as I am the evil step dad.

 

[Zigner]

Anyways... my opinion does not mean for crap anyways as I am the evil step dad.

You're not evil - just over-involved...

 

[Ohiogal]

Well... it puzzles me why it would make a difference...

No worries... I am Janes new husband. And my angle is that I was talked into buying a larger three bedroom home than what we really need - 2 bedroom.

Dick is just an ass. Does not belong in jail, he is just an ass.

The child will not listen to reason. She is living like she is on her own execpt dad pays for rent and utilities. I think she is making bad decisions and her grades and schooling are hurting for the experience. She works too many hours and too late at night for my comfort. If she had the maturity for it, I would be in favor of it, if that is what she wanted. But she is making big mistakes. No sense getting into details there. Anyways... my opinion does not mean for crap anyways as I am the evil step dad.

You do NOT matter in this whole saga. Who talked you into buying a bigger home? Three bedroom homes normally have a better resale value than two bedroom homes. As for Dick being an ass, guess what? It doesn't matter. Dick is dad and your disrespect of that fact doesn't change anything. Will always be dad. Jane should have stepped up to the plate long before now and tried to enforce custody. As it is she will lose custody because the child remains with dad. And dad should NOT be paying her child support for a child that she no longer has. If Jane were not an ass then she would have been the adult long before now. So here is a solution, kick out your immature wife and let her and her ex deal with their own problems. The police will NOT enforce a domestic court order unless it specifically states that the police SHOULD enforce it.
Jane shoudl have been an adult long before now and taken this back to court and enforced the decree and acted like a parent. Because she didn't the child will remain with dad. And YOU should stay out of it. The stepchild is NOT legally your concern. If you are upset about the situation, deal with your childish wife.

 

[ServedMinnesota]

details

Again... I thought these were all details that did not matter to give advice to the question...


Jane did produce the order to police to view. Police said child at that age could decide and they did not want to get involved too much despite Janes protest. A police report does document that Jane wanted the child back and Dick did not cooperate.

Jane had child signed up at new school.

Dick signed up child at old school.

Child threated to run away if back at Janes. Jane thought it best at least child was with Dick rather than trying to enforce a runaway and Dick gets in trouble with law which further seperates Jane from child. Jane did not want child on the streets.

 

[Zigner]

A step-parent is in no position to bash the parent of their step-child. It is wrong, legally & morally.

 

[ServedMinnesota]

ohio gal

uff da!

I think you are getting hung up on the details rather than my main question.

Does child support get changed if a child is living with the non custodial parent and the custodial parent is still using the child support to pay for what it is supposed to be used for.

 

[Zigner]

I think Jane should be paying child support to Dick.

 

[Ohiogal]

Lets do this slowly so you can understand.

Again... I thought these were all details that did not matter to give advice to the question...


Jane did produce the order to police to view. Police said child at that age could decide and they did not want to get involved too much despite Janes protest. A police report does document that Jane wanted the child back and Dick did not cooperate.

Yet Jane did squat in going back to family court which had jurisdiction over the child custody. Instead she decided that a teenager got to dictate. GREAT PARENTING! Bravo.

Jane had child signed up at new school.

New school --- so Jane moved from child's school district? Did Jane file to move?

Dick signed up child at old school.

Dick remained in old school district?

Child threated to run away if back at Janes. Jane thought it best at least child was with Dick rather than trying to enforce a runaway and Dick gets in trouble with law which further seperates Jane from child. Jane did not want child on the streets.

No Jane did not want to be bothered with parenting. She wanted to let teenager do whatever because it was EASY. Hint: being a parent is HARD! Not easy. Did she try to find out what the issue was with her. Other than the fact that you have no clue who Dick actually is in this example of yours?

 

[Silverplum]

And when have you NOT seen rampant spouse/parent/step-parent bashing in this forum??

Figured it kinda came with the territory.

It's a matter of morality, ethics, and taste.

Volunteers answer exactly whomever they darn well please. If posters can't be bothered to be ethical and tasteful, it's entirely within our purview to ignore them entirely.

Or to re-educate them.