child in dangerous situation

[sktl2806]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? SC
My exhusband is incapacitated due to a motorcycle accident in 2008. His mother (my ex mother-in-law) has his POA. Our son has regular visitation with his father through a court-appointed order. My ex-husband's caregiver, (his uncle and his mother's brother) is paid by an outside agency to help with activities of daily living. I was just informed and provided with the paperwork that shows the caregiver was charged with three counts of indecent exposure and three counts of lewd act upon a minor in 2008. The statement given my the caregiver is very graphic, so there is no doubt that he did what he was accused of. The conditions of his bond explicitly states that he is to have no contact with minor children. My ex-mother in law knows about it, the agency that he works for also knows. However, he is allowed to work with an incapacitated individual (albeit, his newphew) and be in the house with our minor son, who is five. Under these conditons, can I safely refuse visitation until there is a court hearing? He is due to go back Friday. I believe this shows very poor judgement on part of the ex MIL as far as having a potential child molester in the home to care for her incapcitated son and her five year old grandson. I feel bad for my ex-husband because he doesn't deserve this, but my son can not go to a place that is unsafe. Please, please advise!!

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? SC
My exhusband is incapacitated due to a motorcycle accident in 2008. His mother (my ex mother-in-law) has his POA. Our son has regular visitation with his father through a court-appointed order. My ex-husband's caregiver, (his uncle and his mother's brother) is paid by an outside agency to help with activities of daily living. I was just informed and provided with the paperwork that shows the caregiver was charged with three counts of indecent exposure and three counts of lewd act upon a minor in 2008. The statement given my the caregiver is very graphic, so there is no doubt that he did what he was accused of. The conditions of his bond explicitly states that he is to have no contact with minor children. My ex-mother in law knows about it, the agency that he works for also knows. However, he is allowed to work with an incapacitated individual (albeit, his newphew) and be in the house with our minor son, who is five. Under these conditons, can I safely refuse visitation until there is a court hearing? He is due to go back Friday. I believe this shows very poor judgement on part of the ex MIL as far as having a potential child molester in the home to care for her incapcitated son and her five year old grandson. I feel bad for my ex-husband because he doesn't deserve this, but my son can not go to a place that is unsafe. Please, please advise!!

a potential child molester?? he IS a child molester. there's a conviction to PROVE it.

you need to head back to court, request a change in visitation to occur without that man's presence. does the man have a probation officer? someone to report his violation of having contact with the children? a restraining order forcing grandma to have another provider?

 

[sktl2806]

Ma'am,
He has not been convicted. He had a preliminary hearing and he is now out on bail. However, the statement that he made clearly specifies what he did, etc and the conditions of his bond is that he has NO contact with minor children.
Honestly, I do not want our son going to this house, period. If this is the kind of backward decisions my ex MIL is making for my son and hers, then I don't think it is safe for him to go back, period. To me, the caregiver (molester) not being in the household on the days my son is there is not good enough. She has let this man be a part of my child's life and her disabled son's life for the last two years.
I am in the process of getting a lawyer to look at this. However, do you think I have reason enough to deny visitation until it is settled? I really hope I can get her hands off our child and that under the circumstances (with dad being mentally and physically incompotent) that he can have supervised visitation, instead.
Also, I have contacted the magistrate. I'm too scared to contact the bondsman,..I'm afraid they may be family friends (small town) and my cover will be blown before I get I can get a good lawyer envolved.

 

[stealth2]

Ma'am,
He has not been convicted. He had a preliminary hearing and he is now out on bail. However, the statement that he made clearly specifies what he did, etc and the conditions of his bond is that he has NO contact with minor children.
Honestly, I do not want our son going to this house, period. If this is the kind of backward decisions my ex MIL is making for my son and hers, then I don't think it is safe for him to go back, period. To me, the caregiver (molester) not being in the household on the days my son is there is not good enough. She has let this man be a part of my child's life and her disabled son's life for the last two years.
I am in the process of getting a lawyer to look at this. However, do you think I have reason enough to deny visitation until it is settled? I really hope I can get her hands off our child and that under the circumstances (with dad being mentally and physically incompotent) that he can have supervised visitation, instead.
Also, I have contacted the magistrate. I'm too scared to contact the bondsman,..I'm afraid they may be family friends (small town) and my cover will be blown before I get I can get a good lawyer envolved.

I love it when true colors shine through.

You have a court order that gives Dad visitation. You don't get to unilaterally defy it, especially if you take no further action except sitting on your butt, waiting for his court case to conclude.

You could call his PO and notify him/her that he is violating his terms by being in the home when your son is.

You could call CPS.

You could file for a suspension of visitation and/or an order that he not be present when your son is.

BUT... you cannot penalize Dad by just deciding to not send the kid. He would have every right to file against you for contempt. Absent taking other action, you would likely be found to be so. And you can lose the venom towards his Mom. If the uncle is kept away, you have no recourse whatsoever.

 

[HomeGuru]

I am sure we have not been told the whole story.

 

[sktl2806]

This is the second time I've posted and been made to feel like I'm the bad guy. I have said I have contacted the magistrate b/c I don't think I can contact the bondsman. I AM getting off my butt and doing something about it but I have to wait for a lawyer to call ME back.
I am NOT putting my child in a situation where he is with a person who thinks it's ok to put the care of a minor child and incapacitated adult with a child molester. No thankyou.
I want my exhusband to see his son and I have never tried to stop that..I just do not think his mother should be in control of those visits and I feel that this decision proves it.
He is due to go back this Friday and I am just supposed to let my child go to a place where I KNOW there is a child molester.
No, I think not. I'm sorry for dad, but I'd be ever sorrier if my child was hurt because I decided to feel sorry for him. It's not his fault, I know, but it isn't my child's fault, either.

 

[Just Blue]

This is the second time I've posted and been made to feel like I'm the bad guy

.

Where is the first thread? Did you delete it?

 

[sktl2806]

..it was a very long time ago, concerning my ex-MIL and her ability to stop me from seeing my (at the time, husband) when he was in the hospital, with this very injury. Apparently, she could and she did, because we were legally seperated at the time...
But that's not the point. Everyone assumes I want to take our son away from his dad, and that's not true. I just want him to be safe. Before his accident, his dad was a fine father..I never had a problem with his fathering skills and we were amicable..but his mother has always made really strange decisions every since she's had his POA.

 

[stealth2]

This is the second time I've posted and been made to feel like I'm the bad guy. I have said I have contacted the magistrate b/c I don't think I can contact the bondsman.

The bail bondsman could care less. S/he has nothing to do with anything except providing bail money.

I AM getting off my butt and doing something about it but I have to wait for a lawyer to call ME back.

Well... no. You could call other lawyers. You could do research online (more than just posting on forums - like looking at state statutes). A bit more than twiddling your thumbs next to the phone.

I am NOT putting my child in a situation where he is with a person who thinks it's ok to put the care of a minor child and incapacitated adult with a child molester. No thankyou.

Again - you have a court order. You don't get to make the unilateral decision. If you think your son is in serious danger, you file an emergency order asking for visitation to be suspended until and unless the uncle is not present when your son is. Expect that the judge may well order you to send the kiddo if uncle is not there.

I want my exhusband to see his son and I have never tried to stop that..I just do not think his mother should be in control of those visits and I feel that this decision proves it.
He is due to go back this Friday and I am just supposed to let my child go to a place where I KNOW there is a child molester.

Well, here's a novel idea - take the child yourself. Explain to Dad your concerns as the reason you are bringing the child and remaining to supervise yourself, that you will take him home for the night, and return the following morning for the remainder of the ordered visit. Easy peasy.

No, I think not. I'm sorry for dad, but I'd be ever sorrier if my child was hurt because I decided to feel sorry for him. It's not his fault, I know, but it isn't my child's fault, either.

Again - supervise the visitation yourself in the meantime.

 

[sktl2806]

Excuse me for being so ignorant.
Your advise is useful except for the part about taking our son myself. The ex MIL will not let in the house..and hasn't for nearly two years.

 

[tornado88]

Seniors would this situation be enough to ask for an emergency hearing?

 

[stealth2]

I would swear that I'd posted about that...

There is, of course, that silly little thing we know as "innocent until proven guilty"... And I have to wonder just how OP got her hot little mitts on the uncle's supposed "statement". As well as all the rest of her info.

 

[sktl2806]

He may be 'innocent until proven guilty' but his statement clearly outlines his 'activities' and regardless, the conditions of his bond is 'no contact with minors.'
Please, I have no one to talk to about this. I'm asking for help and this seemed like a good place to ask.
I took the advice given to me and contacted the bondsman and called/emailed three more lawyers in my area.
Also, please keep in mind that I can't talk to the dad unless his mother says so.

 

[stealth2]

Again - the bail bondsman really isn't the one to talk to.

If nothing else works - start researching the hell out of it and file for a suspension of visitation.

And again - how did you get hold of his statement? Somehow I doubt that is public record.

 

[sktl2806]

I asked for the information from the magistrate's office.