Child Leaving State w/o Parent's Consent

[qwerpoiu]

What is the name of your state? Florida
I am a non-custodial parent in a situation where my ex plans on leaving the state with our child without my consent for a vacation. I normally wouldn't make a big deal about the vacation if it didn't happen to fall on the same week of a family reunion that had been scheduled for 7 months. The reunion will be held in the same city both me and my ex live in. I told my ex about the reunion 7 months ago so that our child would be able to attend. It was agreed that our child would attend the reunion. However, just last night my ex called me to tell me that our child would no longer attend my family reunion so they could go on vacation. My ex stated that because I'm the non-custodial parent, I have no say in the decision.
The court ordered for my visitation to be 3 days a week. However, the final judgement does not state anything about either parent having the right to leave the state without the other parent's consent. Does my ex have the right to take my child out of state for a whole week, denying me of my visitation?

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? Florida
I am a non-custodial parent in a situation where my ex plans on leaving the state with our child without my consent for a vacation. I normally wouldn't make a big deal about the vacation if it didn't happen to fall on the same week of a family reunion that had been scheduled for 7 months. The reunion will be held in the same city both me and my ex live in. I told my ex about the reunion 7 months ago so that our child would be able to attend. It was agreed that our child would attend the reunion. However, just last night my ex called me to tell me that our child would no longer attend my family reunion so they could go on vacation. My ex stated that because I'm the non-custodial parent, I have no say in the decision.
The court ordered for my visitation to be 3 days a week. However, the final judgement does not state anything about either parent having the right to leave the state without the other parent's consent. Does my ex have the right to take my child out of state for a whole week, denying me of my visitation?

Does your court order FORBID either parent taking the child out of state on vacation? If not, mom can take the child out of state for vacations without permission and vice versa, as long as the vacation does NOT interfere with the other parents court ordered parenting time. Neither of you can dictate what the is allowed or not allowed to do during the other parent's time. If mom's vacation interferes with YOUR time, she would be in violation of the court order.

If your family reunion falls on MOM'S court ordered time, your SOL. If it falls on YOUR time, tell mom you will be at the designated location to pick up your child for visitation per the court order and that if she does not have the child available you will address the violation in court.

 

[qwerpoiu]

The court order does not forbid either parent from going out of state. The visitation days are scheduled at the beginning of each year and are agreed on by both parties. The days are not ordered by the court. It hasn't been until this incident that my ex is telling me that I'm not getting my child on my scheduled visitation days. My question is, can I tell my ex she can't go on vacation for a week because I won't get my court-ordered 3 days of visitation?

 

[Ohiogal]

The court order does not forbid either parent from going out of state. The visitation days are scheduled at the beginning of each year and are agreed on by both parties. The days are not ordered by the court. It hasn't been until this incident that my ex is telling me that I'm not getting my child on my scheduled visitation days. My question is, can I tell my ex she can't go on vacation for a week because I won't get my court-ordered 3 days of visitation?

And then what? slap contempt of court on each other and then have a judge tell you both to grow up? And yes that is legal advice. This is actually a rather trivial issue. How old is the child? Is the vacation something the child will get something out of? Can you make up the 3 days?

 

[nextwife]

The court order does not forbid either parent from going out of state. The visitation days are scheduled at the beginning of each year and are agreed on by both parties. The days are not ordered by the court. It hasn't been until this incident that my ex is telling me that I'm not getting my child on my scheduled visitation days. My question is, can I tell my ex she can't go on vacation for a week because I won't get my court-ordered 3 days of visitation?

Why do parents pull this crap with each other? If mom has known for months about this family reunion, it's pretty stinky of her to go and plan her vacation exactly that week, when there are 51 other weeks she could have chosen.

 

[qwerpoiu]

And then what? slap contempt of court on each other and then have a judge tell you both to grow up? And yes that is legal advice. This is actually a rather trivial issue. How old is the child? Is the vacation something the child will get something out of? Can you make up the 3 days?

The child is 6 yrs old. In regards to your comment about the judge telling us both to grow up, please tell me how I'm being childish in this situation. I'm not trying to be defensive here. I would really like to know what I did to make you think the judge will tell me I have to grow up. I told my ex 7 months ago about the reunion and it was agreed that our child would attend.

 

[Ohiogal]

The child is 6 yrs old. In regards to your comment about the judge telling us both to grow up, please tell me how I'm being childish in this situation. I'm not trying to be defensive here. I would really like to know what I did to make you think the judge will tell me I have to grow up. I told my ex 7 months ago about the reunion and it was agreed that our child would attend.

The problem is it is over three lousy days. That is NOT a major thing. Mom has a vacation -- which it was selfish of her to schedule -- and you have a reunion. If you two end up in court, the judge is going to wonder why two adults cannot act like they are adults and work on such things. It is communication. The childish factor comes in when two adults start fighting over a child as though the child is a play thing. I had her first and I get her then and I dont care or I will take my kid and go home. The two of you really need to sit down and get to the issue that is driving this. To fight over three days once in a year is immature on BOTH your parts. Noncustodial parents do have a say. But how are you supposed to reserve time? How are you to agree?
If your child is six you have at least 12 more years to deal with your ex and she with you. Someone in this situation has to start acting like the bigger person -- the adult.

 

[qwerpoiu]

The problem is it is over three lousy days. That is NOT a major thing. Mom has a vacation -- which it was selfish of her to schedule -- and you have a reunion. If you two end up in court, the judge is going to wonder why two adults cannot act like they are adults and work on such things. It is communication. The childish factor comes in when two adults start fighting over a child as though the child is a play thing. I had her first and I get her then and I dont care or I will take my kid and go home. The two of you really need to sit down and get to the issue that is driving this. To fight over three days once in a year is immature on BOTH your parts. Noncustodial parents do have a say. But how are you supposed to reserve time? How are you to agree?
If your child is six you have at least 12 more years to deal with your ex and she with you. Someone in this situation has to start acting like the bigger person -- the adult.

Thanks for the explanation. I agree that it is childish to fight over three lousy days. I also agree that communication is the key between me and my ex when it comes to our child. But I need advice on how to deal immediately with the issue at hand. My family reunion is next month. My parents are flying in from another country and haven't seen my child, their grandchild, in 3 years. Are you saying I should be the "adult" and just let my child go on vacation without putting up a fight? Because I've already tried the "sit down and talk about it" approach with my ex and it was unsuccessful. All my ex could say is "I'm the primary parent, so I make the final decisions."

 

[nextwife]

Except Dad can't "change" when the family reunion takes place, but mom could have changed when she picked her three day vacation.

As someone who has LOST a lot of family members in the last few years, I approach every big family event as very possibly the last time I, and especially my child, may be able to see and spend time with certain family members.

 

[tiki101]

I don't have any legal advice to offer you but I can tell you that the whole situation stinks. It is the mother's fault why this whole situation has come about. But I do feel though that there is very little you may be able to do. You can take the mother to court for violation of the oder yet by the time you get a trial date I am sure your family reunion will have had passed. And by then the whole purpose is lost. It shouldn't be allowed that the mother may be able to do that, yet she can. She can have her family vacation and have fun and not even for one second stop to think what she has done to you or what your child may have missed out on. It is very unfortunate but I honestly think the best thing to do is to let it go. Sometimes you just need to pick and choose your battles. This one how sad and unfortunate it is, is still very minor. But if I was you I would keep a journal and write this event down in there just in case if it happens again where her plans are more important than your parenting time then you could take her to court for violation and maybe if a pattern is shown then a judge would do more then if it's just a one time incident. It isn't fair for you and your child to miss out and it shouldn't be allowed. I honestly hope that your ex will come to her senses but the chances of that are slim. Good luck to you and your family.

 

[qwerpoiu]

I don't have any legal advice to offer you but I can tell you that the whole situation stinks. It is the mother's fault why this whole situation has come about. But I do feel though that there is very little you may be able to do. You can take the mother to court for violation of the oder yet by the time you get a trial date I am sure your family reunion will have had passed. And by then the whole purpose is lost. It shouldn't be allowed that the mother may be able to do that, yet she can. She can have her family vacation and have fun and not even for one second stop to think what she has done to you or what your child may have missed out on. It is very unfortunate but I honestly think the best thing to do is to let it go. Sometimes you just need to pick and choose your battles. This one how sad and unfortunate it is, is still very minor. But if I was you I would keep a journal and write this event down in there just in case if it happens again where her plans are more important than your parenting time then you could take her to court for violation and maybe if a pattern is shown then a judge would do more then if it's just a one time incident. It isn't fair for you and your child to miss out and it shouldn't be allowed. I honestly hope that your ex will come to her senses but the chances of that are slim. Good luck to you and your family.

Thank you for your comment and concern. Unfortunately, you are probably right that there is nothing I could do about the situation. I was just hoping that there was something I'd be able to do so that my child would not miss out on the much anticipated family reunion.

 

[Ohiogal]

Contempt motions canot be filed until AFTER the contempt takes place.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks for the explanation. I agree that it is childish to fight over three lousy days. I also agree that communication is the key between me and my ex when it comes to our child. But I need advice on how to deal immediately with the issue at hand. My family reunion is next month. My parents are flying in from another country and haven't seen my child, their grandchild, in 3 years. Are you saying I should be the "adult" and just let my child go on vacation without putting up a fight? Because I've already tried the "sit down and talk about it" approach with my ex and it was unsuccessful. All my ex could say is "I'm the primary parent, so I make the final decisions."

Your ex is wrong. And you may want to elicit an attorney to write her a nice little letter telling her so -- I say attorney because your ex probably wouldn't listen to you if you told her. Another thing you could try is an emergency order allowing you to have your child for this time. But you would need to file immediately.

 

[Ohiogal]

I don't have any legal advice to offer you but I can tell you that the whole situation stinks. It is the mother's fault why this whole situation has come about. But I do feel though that there is very little you may be able to do. You can take the mother to court for violation of the oder yet by the time you get a trial date I am sure your family reunion will have had passed. And by then the whole purpose is lost. It shouldn't be allowed that the mother may be able to do that, yet she can. She can have her family vacation and have fun and not even for one second stop to think what she has done to you or what your child may have missed out on. It is very unfortunate but I honestly think the best thing to do is to let it go. Sometimes you just need to pick and choose your battles. This one how sad and unfortunate it is, is still very minor. But if I was you I would keep a journal and write this event down in there just in case if it happens again where her plans are more important than your parenting time then you could take her to court for violation and maybe if a pattern is shown then a judge would do more then if it's just a one time incident. It isn't fair for you and your child to miss out and it shouldn't be allowed. I honestly hope that your ex will come to her senses but the chances of that are slim. Good luck to you and your family.

Tiki YOU ARE WRONG! There are two adults in this situtation and you have apparently decided after hearing one side that the one side is right. Neither party is an innocent when it comes to fighting over a child. No one here has any clue as to why mom chose that week to go on vacation. WE have the OPs word but berating mom when we have no clue as to the reasons she had is not right. Both parents have a role in this. And there are many variables involved.