child out of wedlock - name change

[lilgirlali]

What is the name of your state? Illinois
I have looked and looked for the answer to this and finally I thought I had found a place to find the answer however who ever posted the question must have made some one mad because they wont answer her. now here is my question... I am new to this, I had my child out of wedlock in north carolina... my childs father lives in Iowa my child support is set in Iowa, and I made the BIG mistake of giving my child his last name, I now want to change it because I am engaged and we all 3 have different names and it is hard for my child in school having to explain why all 3 of us have different names. My childs father hasnt seen or talked to her in almost 4 years and also only pays child support sporratically. What my question is ... is do I have to have his permission to change the last name ... I have found a few different answers to this question and was wondering if anyone can point me in the right direction... and if so could some one tell me how to go about doing it also, like where I would get the forms to fill out and about how much it might cost me. Thank You in advance for any help you guys may be able to give me.

Ali

 

[Just Blue]

What name do you want to give your child?

 

[Zigner]

do I have to have his permission to change the last name

Generally, yes.
And, you shouldn't go changing the child's last name on every little whim that comes along. It's not all that uncommon for kids to have a different last name from their mother.

 

[moburkes]

What is the name of your state? Illinois
I have looked and looked for the answer to this and finally I thought I had found a place to find the answer however who ever posted the question must have made some one mad because they wont answer her. now here is my question... I am new to this, I had my child out of wedlock in north carolina... my childs father lives in Iowa my child support is set in Iowa, and I made the BIG mistake of giving my child his last name, I now want to change it because I am engaged and we all 3 have different names and it is hard for my child in school having to explain why all 3 of us have different names. My childs father hasnt seen or talked to her in almost 4 years and also only pays child support sporratically. What my question is ... is do I have to have his permission to change the last name ... I have found a few different answers to this question and was wondering if anyone can point me in the right direction... and if so could some one tell me how to go about doing it also, like where I would get the forms to fill out and about how much it might cost me. Thank You in advance for any help you guys may be able to give me.

Ali

You need the permission of the father or the courts.

You can also change your last name to match your child's last name.

 

[lilgirlali]

i can not change my last name to match hers... her father is not a good person at all ... i want her last name to be changed to my last name and its not a whim I have been thinking about this for almost 4 years now. But it seems like maybe I got the answer I was looking for but if there is anymore light anyone can shine on the subject, please feel free to post it ... Thank you

 

[Silverplum]

i can not change my last name to match hers... her father is not a good person at all ... i want her last name to be changed to my last name and its not a whim I have been thinking about this for almost 4 years now. But it seems like maybe I got the answer I was looking for but if there is anymore light anyone can shine on the subject, please feel free to post it ... Thank you

He's still her father; what's more, he's the father you selected. You can't change her name without his permission. That's that.

 

[lilgirlali]

Silverplum - thank you for your insight.... I will hire an attorney to help me with the name change. Its not a matter of WANT to change it its more of a matter of HAVE to change it. There are aspects of my situation that are a lil more difficult and I wont air all my dirty laundry over a forum of people I dont even know I just thought I would give this a shot.... You guys have been wonderfully helpful and I have gotten some of the answers that I need. However again if you have anymore insight for me please let me know ... Thanks - Ali -

 

[Silverplum]

You're welcome.

 

[Zigner]

Silverplum - thank you for your insight.... I will hire an attorney to help me with the name change. Its not a matter of WANT to change it its more of a matter of HAVE to change it. There are aspects of my situation that are a lil more difficult and I wont air all my dirty laundry over a forum of people I dont even know I just thought I would give this a shot.... You guys have been wonderfully helpful and I have gotten some of the answers that I need. However again if you have anymore insight for me please let me know ... Thanks - Ali -

There is no way that you HAVE to change the name.

 

[lilgirlali]

There is no way that you HAVE to change the name.

you're right I guess. Either way you guys have been helpful thank you.

 

[Zigner]

you're right I guess. Either way you guys have been helpful thank you.

You're welcome - and thanks for the nice attitude even when you didn't hear what you might have hoped to. That's refreshing

 

[Silverplum]

You're welcome - and thanks for the nice attitude even when you didn't hear what you might have hoped to. That's refreshing

No kidding, Zig!

 

[lilgirlali]

for some people its a hard decision ... a big step to take ... however... sometimes its in the best interest and I want to be as best educated as i can about it... i think it will be in her best interest. like i said its a long story and a bad situation all around... just a thougt to keep in mind... not everyone is who they seem to be in the begining.... i have learned decisions you make when you are young can drastically affect you in the future. Thanks again guys

 

[Neal1421]

What name are you planning on giving the child? If you plan on getting married and changing your last name to your fiance's, will you attempt to change it to his?


Then, say for instance the two of you don't work out, what will you do about the child's last name then?

Get my point?

 

[lilgirlali]

What name are you planning on giving the child? If you plan on getting married and changing your last name to your fiance's, will you attempt to change it to his?


Then, say for instance the two of you don't work out, what will you do about the child's last name then?

Get my point?

i completely understand what you are saying.... and I am actually going to change it to my last name which is also my moms last name.... I am a Realtor so I will keep my last name even when we get married its just easier that way... and I will be easier for her to explain that than to explain why the guy she calls daddy has one last name ... her mommy has a different last name and she has yet another last name.... it is emotionally hard for her... my fiancee is by all means her dad.... anyone can be a FATHER but it takes someone special to be a daddy. And he is great. I grew up with the same situation my mom had me by someone (he abandoned my mom and I before I was born) and I grew up knowing her husband (they got married when I was 9 months old ) as daddy ... so my last name was one thing ... and theirs were something else ... it was hard... so i have been there and want to make her life as easy as possible