child support-again!

[kl]

I am being taken back to court by my ex-wife because she wants more money. She already recieves $800 a month and claims she now has day care for my 2 boys after school, whom I know for a fact that it is her live in brother or her mom that watches the boys.She now wants an additional$150 more.When the boys come over they report everything my fiance and all of us do together. I know for a fact she is not happy with my new situation, but its been 2 years that we have been divorced. The boys havent had new shoes for a long time now and have had the same jackets for 2 years, and this bothers me. Why can't I have say so on how my money should be spent for the boys? She also has a$1300 a month house payment that I know I am paying for!!!!! Her brother who is 19 has lived with her for at least a year now and during the winter I am sure I was supporting him too, because he works const. and is off in the winter. How can I fight this without paying her lawyer fees and also not giving her any more money? I think my angle will be finding out how to prove my child support goes to the house payment and not the boys. Is that my option? I know she makes alot of her money in cash and won't be able to show her earnings, which these days I don't even make a decent living, let alone give her more money. If I knew the money could be controlled by me, I'd have no problem. I think child support should be organized more geared to go for the kids!!! Not to the ex who always has the latest clothes and newest hairstyle. Please don't misunderstand me I am happy, but she just won't leave me be .I just want to move on, she has always had the need to control my life, and she still is. Please give me advice our court date is in a few months. I need to find a lawyer without spending money I don't have.

 

[dorlan]

You are soooo right!!!

I feel sorry for you. You are so right about the money not going to the kids, but to the lifestyle of the ex. Unfortunately I cannot give you much advise. I am searching myself right now, because I am in the same boat as you are. I hope that the courts someday see, that "Child Support" should be what it says, "Support for the Child". Not "Support for the Ex", since that would be called "Spousal Support".
My court date is next week, and I am sick to my stomach.

 

[worried stepmom]

My husband is in the same situation as you. He pays $500 a month for his son, along with daycare fees. His exwife has her own business and much of her revenue is cash; therefore, proving income is a problem. When we found out hat she may be tring to get more $, I researched a little. What I read goes something like this: if you feel like she mkaes more than what she says, you could get someone to investigate her financial background (I don't know if it is a court appointed person or a private person--this I never was able to find out). For instance, how can she afford a $1300 month house note, vehicle, living expenses, insurance, etc. if she only says she makes $30,000 a year? I don't know how your state figures child support, but in Louisiana, it is a combination of both parents' income. if she says she makes more, he pays less. Also, DOCUMENT everything. Everything your kids tell you, about their clothes, etc. You have to prove she's not spending the $ on the kids.
I don't know if this will help, but you may want to mention to your lawyer. If she takes you back to court, ask for no increase and for her to pay YOUR legal fees. Also, this would be a great time for any modifications you want in your custody agreement. Think about your upcoming marriage, and how this may effect your children. For example, maybe you could get them more often, since you will be married.
Remember, this is just advice. I hope things work out for you, and I hope I have helped. I know how frustrating it is when you know it's not going to your children.
Good luck!