Child support fraud

[manalive]

Kentucky

My ex-wife has always had custody of our son--atleast in the court's eyes. For the past four years, he has lived with his maternal grandmother informally. I've remarried and could provide a home for my child, but he has a half-sister that he doesn't want to leave. The support still goes to the ex. Is there a way to at least document that he is not living with his mother without having to obtain a lawyer? When I was up for a review of the support agreement, which was increased, I asked about documenting that the support needed to go to the grandmother, that the mother is perjuring herself on the court documents by claiming the child lives with her, but they said that was a seperate issue and she was not receiving government assistance, so therefore, no fraud.

If anything ever happens to the grandmother, she would take the child back with her and as far as the courts are concerned, it would look like she always had him.

Please advise.

 

[lovingmom]

Hang in there!!!

Just out of curiousity, how long have you known about this? And, who told you "No fraud"? Was it the child support enforcement div.? If your income is low you can seek assistance with legal aid, but if you dont meet guidelines of assistance --you must seek legal advice ASAP! Please dont prolong this wrongdoing..Also, does the mother give anything to the grandmother(such as : $, clothing, food, school activites) and, do you help the grandmother with out-of-pocket expenses besides the child support you pay? If so, keep records because you might want to take her to small claims court..I have no legal expertise--just lots of self-taught research on child support obilgations. Im from Mississippi--so laws vary from state to state. Good Luck to you....

 

[manalive]

This arrangement came about due to the new boyfriend of the ex. He abused her and we decided together to move our son into the grandmother's house. I was in the middle of a second divorce and could not provide a home like the grandmother could. This was done informally, without the court's knowledge.

I've continued to pay the child support to the courts and they turn it over to the mother. I have no idea how much of it actually reaches my son.

I remarried this past September and my wife is pointing out the potential problems with allowing this arrangement without documentation.

When we went into court to discuss a reassesment for support, we thought we could get the court to document that the grandmother had physical custody and switch the support payment to her.

While I would love custody of my son, he's happy with his little sister. Both of us have been married and divorced twice. She is still living in the abusive relationship, tells the child she is afraid to leave. I am remarried and in a stable, committed relationsip that would provide a warm, loving environment for my son, but I'm afraid all my mistakes in the past will not allow that.

We make too much for legal aid, however, there is no money. My wife has three children from a previous marriage and her ex has never paid any kind of support. Besides the 50% of medical bills that she has been taking care of, since she doesn't want her credit ruined, she has never received any of the court ordered child support from her ex. He's over $16,000 behind.

It's all the two of us can do to pay all our combined bills.

As for my son, we pay extra anytime the mother or grandmother requests that we get something for school, clothes or shoes for special occasions, or just while we are buying for my wife's kids.

This case is in a small community. It makes a difference. It was suggested that we get a lawyer if we have a problem with the current arrangement. We would have to get a lawyer from a neighboring county as the only legal office represents her. This is an expense that we simply do not have the money to pay at this time. Not to merely document that the mother gets the child support illegally.

It's very frustrating.

 

[lovingmom]

frustration is just one word!

Frustration is only one word that describes my situation with ex...Theres many more, but to me it seems there is never an end. At this point,after 10yrs with no support, all I have on mind is raising my kids with patience, listening and alot of LOVE! Even though they dont have the material things, they have a sense of a home with contentment. Manalive-- I forgot to ask how old the boy was? The mother shouldnt discuss an abusive relationship with her child. Its almost like she is choosing the boyfriend instead of the son. Shes also teaching her son to not have strength and walk away from a negative situation. As far as your past, we're suppose to forget the past, if it holds bad memories, and move forward to a better life. Noone can make it happen, but the person who life it is...Out of nurturing,caring,loving unconditionally and apologizing(if the past is something directed towards your son) the both of you can build a strong relationship...He may be content with the arrangements, but a son will always need his father. One last thing...Is there anyway the three of you can come upon an agreement that would be beneficial to the child,such as: the mom giving the $ to the grandmother. To me if anything ever comes of the fraudulent matter, the courts will look towards the mother..Remember, you are the one who said something about it to officials--and they replied"cant help you" Good luck and hang in there... Children grow so fast--it makes every moment worth wild...Dont beat yourself up...You seem to be a great father who is trying to do the right thing....