child support how much?

[sbobo]

I now live in Massachusetts but my final divorce decree was from VA. My x-husband was ordered to pay $1,000 per month by VA law, then went bancrupt and received a temporary order for $138 per month until he got employed again. He is now making close to 38,000 a year. He pays me $400 a month, because that is what he "thinks is fair". I want to know if I look for assistance in the state I now live in (MA) or the state that granted the divorce. I want him to pay the state's legal percentage on child support not what he thinks is fair. He has remarried as have I. I am a studnt and make no income but my present husband is employed. Thank you for time.

 

[angryfather]

Look, You have enough money. You are re-married and should have no problem supporting yourself. Why do you want more money? are you THAT greedy? NO you should not file for assistance or welfare or anything. because THEN I am paying for YOUR KID too. Get off your lazy butt and find a job. Leave your ex alone. Hell, be glad he is paying ANYTHING. FAIR is what matters.. not the fact that you think you can get more... YOU DONT NEED MORE THAN THAT. the courts and family law is completely UNFAIR already. make peace with your ex and let it go. THINK OF YOUR CHILD. not your wallet. If you pursue him for more money you will only cause problems and hurt your child in the long run. but if you are like the majority of the custodial parents i have seen you really don't give a crap about your child. You just want your damn money.

 

[amhlls]

To Angry Father

you must be one of those dead beat fathers we woman did not make these kids alone and we should not have to take care of them alone do you think you can put a monetary value on the time and energy it takes to raise a child. my sons father refused an one hundred dollar increase after nearly 3 years what am i suppose to do let him live child free and headache free do you know all the burden thats left on a mother so what if they are remarried is her husband responsible for the other mans child stop being so angry you probably started a new family but you should have thought about your old one before you went and planted more seeds people like you make me sick and for the writer of this letter take him for what ever he is worth you are entitled to it. every time you child is sick and calling for you put a price tag on it and send it to his dad. and let him know that no amount of money willj equal to the time patience and tolerance you have with raising your chil

 

[jeanine]

Sorry but I agree with Angry Father! I am married to a man with a son from a previous marriage. I truly believe this child's mother doesn't love him. All she wants is MONEY! She doesn't want to work for it though. She thinks she's still entitled to my husband's money even though they were divorced 8 years ago.

I think a child should get the support they need. But my husband pays $130 a week and now the ex wants more. I don't even spend $130 a week on myself and I am almost 30.

I'm sure there are women out there who truly need this money and child too, but I think the majority of women out there just want the money.

I say get a job and contribute to the welfare of the child. Yes it takes two to make a child and it should take two to support a child. It's not the father's sole responsibility. Mom's get off your butts!

 

[emrj23]

I am a woman and I also have to agree with angryfather and jeanie, there are a lot of femenatzi women that think they can bleed the father of their child dry with no concern of anyone but themselves. Many of them are just pi@$ed off because either their marrige ended in divorce or the guy wouldn't marry them, and honestly that is pretty pathetic. The worst part about it is that the person worst off is the innocent child, it doesn't take hundreds of dollars to raise a child, it doesn't cost hundreds of dollars to live as an adult. Another thing, women have the "right to chose" whether to go through a pregnancy or not, no matter what the man wants. If she wants to terminate and the father doesn't, too bad daddy not your choice. If she wants to have the baby, again the father has no say, and agian too bad daddy she is going to take half of your paycheck for the next 20 years. I do understand that the child deserves to live the lifestyle that both parents could offer it, but never should it be a battle of get as much money as you possibly can out of the non-custodial parent. But what about when both parents decide on remarring and having new families, stealing half of the fathers paycheck will make his new family's life very difficult. And please for the child, that innocest beautiful child that was created act like civil adults, even if one of the parents isn't. If it comes down to it get an attorney if you can communicate with eachother, but try your best, think of the kid.

 

[amhlls]

you are all crazy

it is always the new women in the mans lives that have the problem with the child support you knew he had a obligation before you got involved with him and for the lady that saids she doesnt spend 135 on her a week thats your problem why should my child lack anything i am married and why should my husband have to take care of someone elses responsibilties. i am sorry that you chosed a man with kids but his kids should come first. you can not place a value on a child if my husband can spend on a child thats not his then i hope the courts would take his father for everything that he is worth unless you have been through a situation you dont know what you would do. what about all the children that has special needs like my son is he supposed to be deprieved because his father is a ass hole i think not,thats what the courts are for its not for you or any other stupid new woman because one day you might be in the same predicament

 

[deefran]

First off---it does cost hundreds of dollars to raise a child...shelter, clothing, food, childcare, school supplies, medical expenses, not too mention birthdays, holidays and extra curricular activities that the child may participate in. The mother and father BOTH are responsible for the upbringing and support of the child until that child is an adult.
True, a man doesn't have the choice to keep or terminate the pregnancy, but he does have the choice of having unprotected sex with the woman which usually results in pregnancy, not to mention many icky diseases.
I also have to say, yes the man and woman have the rights to remarry and start new families. But when a woman remarries a man whom she knows is paying child support for a child he already has, that child becomes no less needy or less important just because he has a new child.
There are a few women who just go for the money but the MAJORITY want the best possible upbringing for their child/children and ALL children deserve it.

 

[angryfather]

Truth be said, and I am going to be nice here... It really doesn't take as much to raise a child as most custodial parents want. I believe that yes BOTH parents must support that child. BUT, in a FAIR and reasonalble way. The child MUST come first... not greed. I could care less about the money. Hell, I would pay HER just to have my child. Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness should not end for the non-custodial parent. But yet these are the very rights that are bled from them from the family court system we have today. Man and woman alike must rise up and let our voices be heard. WE SHALL OVERCOME. I have a dream, that one day, my child will be in MY arms and I promise you I will do my best to raise him to be an upright honest citizen. with morals and values and respect he will learn to become a better person. I believe that good guys (and gals) finish first. and in the long run the person that does the right thing for the right reasons will prevail. I am very frustrated but I refuse to be pulled into hate. Yes I am angry. Yes I vent. But I will not allow myself or my son be privy to a life of oppression filled with a war of emotions that will do nothing but destroy his faith in society and this glorious country in which we live.
Be merciful, do not allow yourself to feed the system.. because the courts get money from child support. that is why they push so hard for so called deadbeat dads to pay.
in the end BOTH parents lose and the courts walk away with fat pockets. And when the dust clears all that is left is a broken home, several broken hearts and a sad, frightend child with more baggage than JFK. (airport)
Don't people realize the irreprable damage that the child will suffer from incessant fighting and parental alienation?
Who do YOU really love? your child or your self? who comes first? be fair with the father, allow him to be part of the child's life, allow him to pursue his own life filled with happiness. In the long run when parents put the children first everyone wins. stop the hate, stop the greed. Non-custodial parents have every right to the child, they have every right to be an influence.
Dear God.. what have we become?

 

[Ginger]

These women who marry men with children from a prior marriage need to realize what is done is done. But noooo, the new wife with ex come up with a plan to slam, degrade, harrass, bribe children, be a better "Disney" family etc. then try to take these children away from Bio Mom. I never restricted my ex from his children, he CHOSE his time with the children. I have always, I mean always encouraged my ex to participate in the children's lives. He even called me many times to complain about his wife, I would just tell him to help her feel more secure with him. Give her flowers, let her know you love her. I told him he needed to flush the garbage (he committed adultry) and that I have forgiven him and now he needs to move on and make this marriage work. (we tried but couldn't). My ex's ex wife use to send the kids to him everytime they wanted something new for example, new boots, leather coats, stereos etc. I told my ex that I would not allow m y children to view him as a money machine. I wanted them to have a relationship with him. He still hasn't gotten the idea that time spent with children mean more to them than the gift he may buy today and is old tomorrow. My children remember more of when he sits with them at night and reads a story to them. I pointed it out to him one day, but still,, he is soo thick. Angry dad, i do agree with some of your points, and your are careful with your words of FAIR, but I do think you have too much anger to be logical and FAIR. I do not know your situation, but, if the mom is that bad, then yes, I agree that you should have your children so you can show them what is means to be responsible adults later. Take care everyone as the battle continues.....

 

[angryfather]

OK lets look at some things... fair and reasonably.
Shelter can not be included because the custodial parent is gonna live somewhere already right? I mean she wasn't homeless before child support correct? That includes electricity and water. those things are not impacted at all from a child until maybe the teen years. (You can't tell me that a baby monitor uses 120 dollars a month in electricity)
Food, ok.. lets say to feed one average child age 5 it takes 300 a month. 150 of that is the custodial parents responsibility. I can't imagine buy clothes for a child every month but lets say on average you spend 2000 a year on clothes (this is a VERY high estimate) but its possible due to growth and wear and tear... ok.. 1000 of that is the custodial parents responsibility. (HALF)
so $150 dollars a month times 12=1800.
so now we are at 2800 a year for the child.
lets throw in about $100 a month for misc. expenses such as school supplies, toys, etc. this is even a very high estimate but I am giving the custodial parent the benifit of the doubt. ok.. so that comes to $4000 a year as an estimate or 333 dollars and 33 cents a month.
THIS is the MAXIMUM that anyone should have to pay. and that is from over estimating the cost of everything.
Honestly the support should run more around 200 a month. And if the child is with the non-custodial parent on weekends or a couple months a year... there should be NO support during those times because WHO is feeding the child then? who is offering the shelter then?
Also, I believe that there is NO EXCUSE for adultery. If one party breaks the marriage contract THEY should lose all rights to be the custodial parent. Not that they should be completely removed from the child's life by no means. dont get me wrong. but not too long ago they were still throwing stones at women and men who cheated.
Adulterers should be held accountable for their actions. EVERYONE should be held accountable for their actions.
I read a post on here talking about the father had the choice to wear a condom. Well the mother had the choice not to open her legs.
it goes both ways people. well.. except abortion. If a father wants the child so what? the mother can choose to kill it. if the father wants an abortion again so what? the mother can say no no .. you will have to pay for the rest of your life for this child.
I say it is time to step back and re-evaluate the entire system and come to a FAIR and reasonable solution. One that benifits all parties and especially the CHILD.

 

[craftymom]

I now live in Massachusetts but my final divorce decree was from VA. My x-husband was ordered to pay $1,000 per month by VA law, then went bancrupt and received a temporary order for $138 per month until he got employed again. He is now making close to 38,000 a year. He pays me $400 a month, because that is what he "thinks is fair". I want to know if I look for assistance in the state I now live in (MA) or the state that granted the divorce. I want him to pay the state's legal percentage on child support not what he thinks is fair. He has remarried as have I. I am a studnt and make no income but my present husband is employed. Thank you for time.

sbobo,
Just in case you have managed to make it through the incessantly angered ramblings of some of the posters to your thread, I will attempt to answer your question. Please know that I am not a professional by any means, I am merely repeating info that I have read in other threads on these boards.
If you have fulfilled the residency requirement for the state of MA, then you file your paperwork in MA. My understanding is that in most states, 6 months is the amount of time required to be considered a resident.
Good Luck to you.

 

[Ginger]

Angry dad,

My case scenerio: When we married I agreed to be a stay home mom I had a career as a legal secretary, I gave up willingly to have his children. He owned his own business so he had to work hard to make it work, he is now making over 3 million a year. I also took care of his kids from prior marriage and his sickly mom. I never got paid for any of this. If I were to charge for "housekeeper", nanny", wet nurse (I breast fed my children), "taxi", "nurse", son has allergies and asthma, motherinlaw sick etc.., "on call 24/7". Now lets get realistic here.

My ex couln't do all the above and work for a living. He neither could afford to hire those individual people to run his household.

He cheated on me, was abusive and was never home until 11:00 p.m. and gone by 8:00 a.m. (he'd wake me up when he got home to yell, scream or fight with me, he'd be drunk or high or both)

When I left, I left with my children in FEAR of my life. Friends took me and my two small children into their house and supported us for over 2 months. Yes, they already had a house etc...

They had an apartment open up and I moved into that. I had rent to pay, utilities, food, diapers. Ex to be still had not paid me any support and friends again helped me with a lawyer, I started receiving child support which was more than I ever made working full time as a legal secretary. Now if I were to go to work and make over 15,000 ayear, cs reduced,but I now have to pay 200 a week daycare for 2 children, in your equation I noticed you didn't have that down. So, with making say $16,000 a year well do the math I am horrible in math.

I feel cs is needed as the mom or dad, whoever has physical custody is all the above people and deserve cs from the other to help make ends meet. Because lets say, ex remarries and has children she receives cs from her ex and has bio dads' kids well, he just is where he was when he was married to the bio mom.