Child support in CA

[Ms. Chloe]

What is the name of your state? CA

Two child. Wife never worked. Has encouraged her to pick up some job skills but she showed zero interest or willingness. Support the entire family of 4. Income is $125K. What is the minimum CS to my children? Most likely the children will stay with mother. Marriage over 10+ years.

Thanks

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? CA

Two child. Wife never worked. Has encouraged her to pick up some job skills but she showed zero interest or willingness. Support the entire family of 4. Income is $125K. What is the minimum CS to my children? Most likely the children will stay with mother. Marriage over 10+ years.

Thanks

I replied to your other post concerning this matter. $125K/yr is ALOT of money. Why are you concerned about the LEAST you'll have to pay in support. I mean these ARE your kids, shouldn't you be more worried about what's the MOST you can do for them? Your wife has worked, unless your kids were born with the ability to raise themselves.

Nothing personal, just that it would be nice if every once in a while NCP's (dads & moms alike) would ask "Hey, is there a MAXIMUM amount of money I can pey in child support?" (Wishful thinking)

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state? CA

Two child. Wife never worked. Has encouraged her to pick up some job skills but she showed zero interest or willingness. Support the entire family of 4. Income is $125K. What is the minimum CS to my children? Most likely the children will stay with mother. Marriage over 10+ years.

Thanks

In CA, they take into consideration the income and parenting time of both parents. You (and she) need an attorney.

 

[nextwife]

I replied to your other post concerning this matter. $125K/yr is ALOT of money. Why are you concerned about the LEAST you'll have to pay in support. I mean these ARE your kids, shouldn't you be more worried about what's the MOST you can do for them? Your wife has worked, unless your kids were born with the ability to raise themselves.

Nothing personal, just that it would be nice if every once in a while NCP's (dads & moms alike) would ask "Hey, is there a MAXIMUM amount of money I can pey in child support?" (Wishful thinking)

Why should he continue to be stuck bearing ALL the financial support responsibility? His wife is able bodied, likely younger than 40 years old and perfectly capable of learning a sustainable job skill and also supporting HER kids. They certainly don't need mom at home all day while they are in school. If you feel they are being shortchanged, then maybe it's because there is no MOM'S share of support. She refuses to even attermpt to develop any career skills. They are HER kids too.

 

[haiku]

.

Nothing personal, just that it would be nice if every once in a while NCP's (dads & moms alike) would ask "Hey, is there a MAXIMUM amount of money I can pey in child support?" (Wishful thinking)

well hey! lets just decree that the NCP hand over all thier paychecks to the CP, and then the CP can decide what the NCP will be allowed to do with the rest of thier money! but damn its so expensive keeping a roof over thier heads, there is really not much left to give back, especially if the CP is not working enough to support thier OWN self.......

being as child support is figured on a percentage of income, usually an NCP IS paying the maximum amount of support.

And quite frankly, it is NICE for the NCP (and the child) to have some disposable income LEFT to spend the way THEY choose to, and not the way the CP chooses too.

 

[ceara19]

It sounds to me as if "Ms. Cloe" is NOT the one getting divorced. First of all, not many men would use a screen name starting with "Ms.", second of all, read the other post by this person at:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=276498

"Why should he continue to be stuck bearing ALL the financial support responsibility? His wife is able bodied, likely younger than 40 years old and perfectly capable of learning a sustainable job skill and also supporting HER kids. They certainly don't need mom at home all day while they are in school. If you feel they are being shortchanged, then maybe it's because there is no MOM'S share of support. She refuses to even attermpt to develop any career skills. They are HER kids too."

I NEVER said he should be responsilble for support his wife after the divorce. In his original post, he basically says his wife is a lazy bum who never worked a day in her life. I was trying to point out to him that just because she didn't work outside of the home, raising children IS A JOB. I don't think he should be responsible for ALL the financial support. But, her earning potential is not going to be anywhere near what his is. If she has no job history she'll be lucky to make $20K a year. I would hope this guy doesn't want his kids to live in some crappy apartment alone maost of the time beacuase mom's working 2 jobs to put food on the table.


" well hey! lets just decree that the NCP hand over all thier paychecks to the CP, and then the CP can decide what the NCP will be allowed to do with the rest of thier money! but damn its so expensive keeping a roof over thier heads, there is really not much left to give back, especially if the CP is not working enough to support thier OWN self.......

being as child support is figured on a percentage of income, usually an NCP IS paying the maximum amount of support.

And quite frankly, it is NICE for the NCP (and the child) to have some disposable income LEFT to spend the way THEY choose to, and not the way the CP chooses too."


Again, not what I was implying. Based on his income, the CA. CS calcutator shows he should pay around $3000 a month based on mom making nothing. Yeah, that's a lot of money. It leaves him with over $7000 a month. That's PLENTY of disposible income. Hell, that's more than I bring home in 3 months.

It's just really sad when you have someone making over $10K A MONTH and they want to know how little they can get away with paying in CS. I would understand if this guy had nothing and was barely able to live on what he was earning, but that's not the case. This guy isn't showing any concern for the kids in either one of his posts, it's all about "how much do I have to pay".
If the wife is such a money hungry bum, why doesn't he look into getting custody of the kids? Then he won't have to pay anything. But that's not what his concern was.

Like I said, my comment was not meant as a PERSONAL ATTACK against ANYONE. It would just be nice once in a while to hear from someone who wants to know how they can make sure the kids needs are being taken of how to go about doing what's right for THE CHILDREN, instaed of wanting to know what's the minimum amount of time, money & effort they are going to have to put in as a parent.

Personally, I don't think 'dad' is the one asking in this case anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

 

[AHA]

I find it amazing that OPs feel the need to lie and portrait themselves as someone else, when they are on the internet and EVERYONE IS A STRANGER!!!!!!!
How does any OP expect to get proper legal advice when they can't even be bothered in saying if they are the mom or the dad or the kid or whatever????
I'm sick and f-ing tired of OPs making up stories and not knowing who the f they are.
No one is going to hunt you down if you simply say "I am divorcing my wife, who has never worked, how much would I have to pay in alimony?"!!!!!!!!!!
Quit the "my friend", "my neighbor", "my so and so" bs. Step up and be an adult. Trust me, no one is interested in who every OP is by name etc etc, but at least have the spine to be honest when you are asking for legal advice.

 

[ceara19]

I find it amazing that OPs feel the need to lie and portrait themselves as someone else, when they are on the internet and EVERYONE IS A STRANGER!!!!!!!
How does any OP expect to get proper legal advice when they can't even be bothered in saying if they are the mom or the dad or the kid or whatever????
I'm sick and f-ing tired of OPs making up stories and not knowing who the f they are.
No one is going to hunt you down if you simply say "I am divorcing my wife, who has never worked, how much would I have to pay in alimony?"!!!!!!!!!!
Quit the "my friend", "my neighbor", "my so and so" bs. Step up and be an adult. Trust me, no one is interested in who every OP is by name etc etc, but at least have the spine to be honest when you are asking for legal advice.

That was my whole point to begin with.

THANK YOU

 

[Ms. Chloe]

clarifying the story

I apologize for not clarifying the story. I am asking for a friend of mine. I am a friend to him and his family. So the story isn't about me but about my friend and his wife. The question about minimum CS was probably not a good question. The question should have been how CS is calculated. I've known my friend for many years and he is definitely not the kind of father who would leave his children stranded out there. He does want custody over his kids but with his busy work schedule and only he brings in the dough that he feel it might be wise for his wife to take care of the kids (almost like paying a nanny?). He really would like to resolve the situation in a peaceful quiet manner. No matter what, even if she was the one who wanted to divorce him, he feels the obligation to help her. Not to mention, he couldn't bare taking the kids away from her. After all, they are all she has.

I will continue to encourage him to consult a lawyer. Law is just too complicated that it's best to talk to an expert before any potential regrets.

 

[Ms. Chloe]

"Why should he continue to be stuck bearing ALL the financial support responsibility? His wife is able bodied, likely younger than 40 years old and perfectly capable of learning a sustainable job skill and also supporting HER kids. They certainly don't need mom at home all day while they are in school. If you feel they are being shortchanged, then maybe it's because there is no MOM'S share of support. She refuses to even attermpt to develop any career skills. They are HER kids too."

Personally, as a woman, I feel terrible for what my friend will probably go through. His wife isn't even close to being 40 and she is capable of learning some job skills to sustain a decent living. Of course, I do believe he will still help out. What is so messed up here with his situation is that she has zero motivation to learn anything. He has tried to push her to pick up a few job skills for the past 5 years. She always come back to him saying that she doesn't want to do this or do that. She said she was forced to take those classes.

Seriously, why would she want to work when she can probably just live off of the alimony the court requires him to give? I'm sure the court will rule in favor of her. What kind of "motivation" is that?

I had a discussion with another friend of mine who was divorced a couple years ago. He was required to pay alimony to his wife even when his wife works and makes a good decent living. What kind of law system do we have here?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

By any chance would you be the next Mrs. waiting in the wings hoping to maximize his still substantial income for you? Do you resent that you might have to continue to work? Perhaps finding that all his spare time is still devoted to his family? Even when it was pointed out that the child support calculator would still leave more than 7-9.5k per month income (spousal support was not calculated) you don't even address that fact. You are too lazy to type in California child support calculator into a search engine to get your answer, or did you think that coming here with a sob story you could get some sort of strategy to avoid his responsibility?

Many couples where income is sufficient, marry and it is never intended that the other spouse work or that one stays home to raise the children, this is a rather traditional arrangement, it doesn't mean that the stay at home spouse is not deserving of an income in the case of divorce. It sounds as if your interference in this marriage may have contributed to the friciton and stress. Referring to the mother, devoted mother at that, is not the same as a nanny, you really have little respect for your "friend"!

 

[Ms. Chloe]

I feel this forum is all about personal attacks . What is wrong being a good friend to help out another friend? It sickens me to know that people out there seek for some sort of monetary gain from others. I'm definitely not one of them. I am NOT his future Mrs. nor am I his girlfriend. I am a successful career woman myself so I do not need a man to support me. I refuse to be a stay home mom to take care of my children (that's what my mother is for ).

Honestly, if you have nothing to say to help my friend then no need to make any subjective comment. It is absolutely cruel as if you are laughing at his unfortunate. How would you feel like if people started to make fun of your divorce? You think it's that funny?

 

[ceara19]

I feel this forum is all about personal attacks . What is wrong being a good friend to help out another friend? It sickens me to know that people out there seek for some sort of monetary gain from others. I'm definitely not one of them. I am NOT his future Mrs. nor am I his girlfriend. I am a successful career woman myself so I do not need a man to support me. I refuse to be a stay home mom to take care of my children (that's what my mother is for ).

Honestly, if you have nothing to say to help my friend then no need to make any subjective comment. It is absolutely cruel as if you are laughing at his unfortunate. How would you feel like if people started to make fun of your divorce? You think it's that funny?

You want some HELPFUL advice for your friend, here you go. He needs to quit worrying about what he wants & what his wife wants & start worrying about what is best for the kids. In most cases, divorce is not a pretty situation, if the kids are better off with him, he needs to go for custody, regardless of what it will do to his wife. If they are HER WHOLE LIFE, doesn't matter! His concern needs to be with the kids, not the wife. He can get custody, hire a REAL live in nanny, and never give another thought to the wife. But 10 years down the road, when these children have had virtually no parental interaction, because dad hired a nanny to raise them and mom's been too busy working her ass off to put a roof over her own head (not to mention all the time she spends trying to dig herself out of a deep depression due to the fact her whole life has been ripped away from her) to spend any time with the kids, don't come back here & complain that the kids are out of control and it's all mom's fault!

And PLEASE make NO mistake, none of this is personal. I don't know any of the people involved. I'm basing my opinion on many different studies done on children of divorce, children raised without parental involvment and children raised by people other than a parent (ie a nanny).

And just to prove my point that NONE of this is a personal attack, I won't even go into what I think about you having your mother raise your kids (trust me you don't want to know), because that WOULD be personal.

 

[Ms. Chloe]

You want some HELPFUL advise for your friend, here you go. He needs to quit worrying about what he wants & what his wife wants & star worring about what is best for the kids. In most cases, divorce is not a pretty situation, if the kids are better off with him, he needs to go for custody, regardless of what it will do to his wife. If they are HER WHOLE LIFE, doesn't matter! His concern needs to be with the kids, not the wife. He can get custody, hire a REAL live in nanny, and never give another thought to the wife. But 10 years down the road, when these children have had virtually no parental interaction, because dad hired a nanny to raise them and mom's been too busy working her ass off to put a roof over her head (not to mention all the time she spends trying to dig herself out of a deep depression due to the fact her whole life has been taken away from her) to spend any time with the kids, don't come back here & complain that they are out of control!

And PLEASE make NO mistake, none of this is personal. I don't know any of the people involved. I'm basing my opinion on many different studies done on children of divorce, children raised without parental involvment and children raised by people other than a parent (ie a nanny).

And just to prove my point that NONE of this is a personal attack, I won't even go into what I think about you having your mother raise your kids (trust me you don't want to know), because that WOULD be personal.

I don't know what my friend is based on but he feels his children is best with the mother since they are both very close to her and she is a good mother to the children.

I know several people who was raised in a divorce family. I guess it's luck that they all turned out pretty successful with a happy marriage or relationship.

I agree with about the importance of the upbringing of children. My grandparents died at an early age leaving my mother to take care of her siblings. It was tough but they all turned out good. My mom calls it luck. Honestly, do you really know what goes on in your kids mind now a days? The most important time to be there for your children is when they are very young. I know my friend will be too busy watching over his children so I also suggested that maybe his wife might be a better care taker than him.

Good thing I do NOT have children yet otherwise I guess it will be an excuse for more personal attacks But I can tell you that my career is geared to be able to raise kids myself. Owning a firm (not a law firm) is not a bad idea after all. My husband needs to help as well. My mom is purely a backup if I need her help.

 

[ceara19]

I don't know what my friend is based on but he feels his children is best with the mother since they are both very close to her and she is a good mother to the children.
I know my friend will be too busy watching over his children so I also suggested that maybe his wife might be a better care taker than him.

So, let me see if I have this right. Dad thinks the kids will be better off with mom because she has more time to spend with them. BUT, dad doesn't think he should have to pay for the fact that mom has no job skills and has a hard time finding a decent job that pays well AND allows her all this free time to spend with the kids?

Let me explain something, and again please don't take this personally, for mom to go out and AQUIRE the skills needed to even GET a job that pays HALF what dad makes is going to take time AND money. This time & money will have to come from somewhere, most likely away from the kids. Now, not only does dad not have time to raise the kids, neither does mom. Which makes the whole custody/support argument pointless.

So, why don't you help your friend find a good lawyer and leave it at that. Again, no offense, but you don't have any children, you are not in any way involved in the upbringing of THESE children. So it would probably be best if you stay out of the situation before you make it worse than it already is. It sounds to me as if DAD isn't the one that has a problem making sure mom can financially afford to raise the kids. It's easy to look at a situation from the outside and judge, but when you don't know first hand how much it takes to raise a happy, healthy child you shouldn't try to help.

I know many adults raised by divorced parent that grew into happy adults. Most of the time it was because BOTH parents were involved with the children and looked out for what was best. Not because they argued that one of them should be doing or paying more. I know people raised by only ONE parent who grew up just fine also.

The point is not ALL children raised by divorced & single parents grow up to be 'bad'. But there is a higher likelihood that they will if one or both parents constantly badmouth the other. "Your mother's trying to bleed me dry", Your father doesn't care if we get thrown in the street", etc. And even then not all of these children will go astray. As adults a large number of them will use it as a crutch. Some of them will just see it as another hurdle to overcome. When a person becomes an adult it is up to them to make thier own choices. They can choose to be a better person or they can choose to use thier childhood as an excuse. "I'm a bad parent because this is how I was raised" or "I'm going to be a better parent than I ever had".

So really your mothers past, your future, my present situation all have NO BEARING on this situaltion. If dad doesn't mind paying child and spousal support, leave him alone. Don't jump in saying, "You shouldn't have to pay that much". It will only lead to animosity. You are also looking at the possibility of losing someone you consider "A close friend" because of you meddling.