S
SandyS
Guest
My ex-husband and I were divorced in CA. The divorce agreement stipulates that we both had joint custody and that neither of us paid child support to each other at that time (because we had agreed (verbally) to equally share child care costs etc). I had moved to GA for employment reasons and a re-marriage, and we mutually agreed that our child stay with him, with flexible visitation for myself and my ex and I mutually agreed that I paid him 1/2 the cost of child care and other costs which amounted to $200 per month, plus I carried the medical coverage, and paid for all visitation costs (airfare etc), plus I provide clothing etc (school clothes etc)....which I faithfully paid him and provided to date. This support was also calculated (by us) based on what he pays for his other minor daughter who resides in AZ, for which I have a signed affidavit (what he said he paid for this daughter, his support is not court ordered, but what he mutually agreed upon between his ex and him). I was served with papers from the CA, Sutter county DA indicating he requested services for "enforcement" of child support which floored me. I am told by the DA that they only "enforce" court ordered child support (yet our divorce agreement has no amount), then I am told they are going to calculate support.....and then my husband agreed to accept an amount of $250 per month and sent me a paper to sign (which he didn't sign). While we both make the same amount of income (about 55K gross), it appears only my gross is being considered while my net is significantly lower (by almost 50%) due to taxe withholdings and other deductions (medical, life insurance, retirement etc). I have another child (not my ex's and not living with my ex) which is finishing her last year in high school in CA which I also pay support and her living expenses to this family, but am being pressured by my ex to allow her to reside with him, and oh by the way, I can just pay him what I pay this other family, so I feel I am being pressured to do what he wants or else he allows to courts to take what they want, and eliminates my ability to provide for both of my daughters and my ability to pay their transportation costs from CA to GA to visit me (which is expensive). I can't afford a lawyer, I feel helpless being in GA and don't know what I should do, I don't have the funds to fly back and forth to CA either, and feel frustrated that he would do this when it just hurts the kids in the end. I also found out that he has gone on a major shopping spree for himself, probably in anticipation of whatever support he can get outside of our agreement. He verbally agreed that that our daughter can stay with me during the entire summer vacation, alternating holidays (Thanksgiving, Xmas) and on spring break, yet he didn't indicate that I wouldn't have to pay support in this other paper, and when I asked him about it, he said casually that "ok, I wouldn't have to pay him during those months", but when I indicted that I would then have child care costs during those months he laughed when I suggested he share in those costs like I do the rest of year when he has custody. I know that this is also an emotional issue because he seems to have not gotten over the divorce, but I just need to know some basic rights, and I have this huge knot in my stomach most of the time and just feel like giving up most of the time because I feel I can't fight him without looking like some stingy parent, but then I get angry. I trusted him when we got divorced, I approached the subject of making things in writing in the event one of us moved, but he said we could "mutually agree" and "not go down that road" (court wise) if that happened, so I feel that it was just a way to set me up. Now I don't know what to do. I know the courts don't care if you are financially strapped (car payments etc) and my new husband and I don't share financial accounts because of this situation with my Ex, I basically pay my own bills and live pay day to pay day trying to scrape money together for airfare for the girls, for clothing for them, for birthday presents for them and to make sure I send their support.
Should I sign that paper? help?
Should I sign that paper? help?