Child support (income/declaration) form question.

[stepmom65]

What is the name of your state?Calif.

Short summary.
My husband has 50/50 physical custody and legal custody. He pays child support based on him having the higher income. He pays full medical/dental insurance through work for both children (9/16 yrs old.). Parents are to pay 50/50 for co-payments, perscriptions, and other expenses not covered.
Both parents have to show good-faith in maintaining full employment. The divorce was 7 years ago, and no modifications have been done since then.

Now, mother is seeking modification (which is okay, we know she had that right). The Problem. She has been unemployed for about 1 year, had a new baby recently from (uninvolved man) and is collecting every welfare benefit the state says she's entitled to (cash, foodstamps, medicare, etc.). Plus she's collecting child support from the father of her baby. We found all this out through DCSS contacting us stating that since she is now collecting welfare benefits from the state, my husband's wafes are garnished. He is not in an arrearages...never have been. He pays $550 a month. Our attorney states that based on his current income and what she's capable of earning, the increase would be $700. She had quit the last 3 jobs she's had within 1 year, found out the state will give her freebies and is taking advantage of these freebies. When DCSS contacted us, my husband demanded to know what exactly she was getting and it is the following: $600 cash, $600 foodstamps, medical insurance for 3 children, free daycare if she works, etc) and $250 from the 2nd father.

Anyway, we just got her income/declaration today and we question some of the entries.

She claims that she has no income. Doesn't include any welfare benefits, the support she received for her 3rd child, or 401K Plan $40,000 as an asset.
As far as expenses, we are puzzled about some of the monthly expenses listed. $600 daycare, Renter's insurance $50.00, groceries $500. Medical/Dental expenses $150, Eating out $200. Gifts/Entertainent $300. Clothing, $300, All her expenses totaled $3400.

**$600 daycare (she doesn't work, where is this number coming from??) the kids don't go to any babysitter or daycare when they are in her care.
**$50.00 Renter's ins. (she lives in subsized government housing)
**$500 Groceries (she's collecting food stamps, what's up with this)
**$150.00 Medical/dental (she hasn't taken the kids to any doctor/dentist in over 2 years, claims she can't afford the co-payment/deductible. My husband has paid for these items 100% and she has refused to reimburse him 50%.
**$200/$300 Eating Out/Entertainment (where's this money coming from)
**$300 Clothing (if she is buying clothes, then that's a new one to us).
Kids claim she doesn't buy clothes and tells them to ask their dad, he's supposed to provide clothing not her.

Anyhow, I'm sure you all have got the picture clearly here. Question is,
Doesn't some of these expenses have to be proven with receipts and such??
Daycare, renter's insurance...Will judges look at her income and expenses and realize that these $$ are inflated on her part. How can she get $3400 in expenses with no income listed. She's not listing child support from 2 sources and the $$/benefits she's receiving from the state.

Anyone with any answers. She's been quiet for 7 years up until the birth of her 3rd child. Now all of a sudden she requests a modification...

 

[SuzieWahoozie]

Answer

I am in IN, not in CA, and I am not an attorney, just a stepmom/second wife who has been there/done that.

When my husband and his ex went through a recent custody battle, they had to disclose this infomaiton, as well. In Indiana, the judge did ask for proof of all things noted - from both parties. I recall my husband even had to submit cancelled checks to prove the charitable donations/titheing he claimed to our church. We were honest and forthright in everything we said - no problem. Mother was not, and did not provide the "required" proof for most things she claimed, and so her request for modification was denied until she Aould "prove" the income/expenses she was claiming (which she never did, of course, because "proof" of a lie cannot exist).

You need to speak to your attorney about the specifics in your case, and you need to be sure your attorney knows - and lets the judge know - the full story: (1) Mother is willfully unemployed; (2) Mother has income and assets she is not reporting; (3) Children are not in day care (or it is not needed, since Mother is home)...and all the other things you stated.

Again, I'm not in CA, but I'd bet the judge would ask for proof of some of these things if he/she knew all the circumstances.

Also, hopefully, your husband has maintained receipts for the medical bills, clothes, etc. that he has paid for when he didn't have to pay for them.

From what you post, it appears that CA does not automatically "garnish" the wages of NCPs who pay CS. If this is true and your husband's wages are only garnished because she is on welfare, I'm sure your husband could bring his pay stub showing the garnishment as proof that she is receivng state assitance.

Good luck to you!

 

[stepmom65]

He has receipts for everything (fortunately) and he also went by the book when we went through this the first time. He doesn't have any issues with paying more support (if a judge says she gets $$ dollars more) than we can live with that. We just want to make sure she gets what she deserves not what she demands....since she's doing this herself (he's hired an attorney to do a response to her claim and do his income/expense forms), his attorney said that she has left off a lot of items....I read a law statute in CA that said, if 1 party wants a modification of support, then both parties (MUST) present to the courts, copies of income/expense declaration, paycheck stubs and 2 years tax returns....., all she provided his attorney was the income/expense decl...

His attorney said that even though she has not provided the proper paperwork and possible inflated the expenses, he MUST provide everything legally. They can definite counter what she has indicated...

I hope the judge looks at her paperwork and give her a major tongue lashing...she hand-wrote everything with lots of errors, and some items are unledgable, and many items crossed out and rewritten...It looked like a child prepared the documentation. I sure hope they don't look at his paperwork, look at her paperwork and just go by what she wrote without verifying the information.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Quick warning in AZ the Court is NOT ALLOWED to take welfare benefits into account. But the other CS should be reported and also her income if she had any would be lower for support of another child (these #s should just about even out) If you do attribute her an income be prepared to also attribute the cost of day care, if she were working she would be paying daycare. Her cost of insurance is a lie since dad is required (i think you said that) to cover them that is an unnecessary cost. You can argue to throw out cost of food as it is covered but our judge would not hear about how much welfare mom was on absolutely said it was against the law to take it into account. But if she is on subsidized housing her rent should be lower so check houses/apartments and get their rent amount and figure lower b/c of state assistance. Good Luck this is a fight that is no fun, yes make sure your hubby turns in all paperwork necessary so he/ his lawyer is fully prepared and mom looks like the fool.

 

[stepmom65]

This sounds so unfair for non-custodial parents....One more new note since this post.

We just discovered that back in August the x started her own Cleaning Business. She paid $170 for a license and has been cleaning houses and 1 pizza parlor, since then. My stepchildren helped her leave flyers on people's doorsteps and on business counters....My husband is going to verify this information through a business license search and his attorney's help.
Isn't this income supposed to be disclosed??? (which is wasn't of course).
What's the best way to find out how much monthly income she's receiving from this??? How do we find out if DCSS even knows about this income???

In answer to your question: yes, my husband is required to maintain full medical/dental insurance.

One more question??? Since the divorce, she has refused to communicate with my husband regarding anything with the kids. My biggest concern is that she tells the kids to call their dad and ask the questions for her. She also puts the kids in the middle and is creating a stressful situation for them.
Recent example: Before we picked up the kids, she instructed the 9yr old to gather all of "her" clothing that was in our home, and to bring it back to her place. He was instructed to not forget, or he would be in trouble. She also told him that they better be washed....Our stepson asked for a bag or backpack when we arrived at home. My husband as him what for, he clammed up (as usual). He gave him the bag and casually watched him through clothes into the bag. Most of which were not purchased by the mother. When asked about what was going on, he started to cry and told us what his mother had said. My husband helped him gather somethings and told him not to stress out of it. Some of the items where not "freshly clean" and he insisted that they had to be washed, or he would get in trouble...

Question: Would it be appropriate for my husband to call the x and tell her that the clothes she requested were on the way, however, she is not to place the child in the middle and to contact him in the future, that the 9yr was stressed out and worried about his next visit with his mother.

We had an argument over this...He doesn't want to create a problem at the mother's for his 9yr old, and feels she will retaliate against him. I asked him, how will she retaliate?? was he going to sneak the clothes to her house?? Does she not think that you would know what was going on??? I told him that he needs to stick up for his son and be his voice in this matter, by not letting the mother put him in the middle. If he doesn't say anything to her, then he's contributing to his stress.

Any ideas????

 

[casa]

I have some advice, but you probably won't like it.

Let the father deal with the mother. Period.

Is it fair what Mom's doing? No. But it's not your place to intervene or further stress your husband out by demanding he confront his xwife either. Also, you have no idea what the mom will do- if she's that weird, she may get mad at the child for telling you.

I would not make a big deal out of as much as possible. Help the kid feel at ease- he wants to bring clothes home, fine. He wants to bring toys home, fine. Make it as stressfree for him at your house as possible. Eventually by taking the power play out of it, it will lose it's 'fun' for the controlling mother.

If your husband thinks his son is emotionally upset about being put in the middle and 'used' as a messenger- has he considered getting the child in counseling? A counselor can help the child work through his anxiety (and document the distress this is causing the child- which is always helpful if further court actions take place)

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Well as to the business check on-line for published documents. I know in AZ we have to have our yearly statement filed and it is public record (could be b/c of a corp. though) but I would check that avenue. Also some recent copies of flyers and the license should at least be enough to get the judge to question if this income exists.

The issue of calling mom is a tough one. If you call she may "know" it gets to your hubby and not only continue to do it but make it worse. Or she could take it as a heads up and stop. If she is as vindictive as you say then she will probably continue either way. Stepping up and saying something may make her get mad at the child for confessing then he will not be comfortable telling dad these things. I say put on a happy face and return the clothes with the child not saying a word and tell the son if there are ever any requests such as these he can talk to dad and dad will do all he can to help the son avoid upsestting mom. Yeah it sucks and she shouldn't be able to get away with it but the karma will bite her in the butt regarding the relationship btw her and the child.

Good Luck

 

[stepmom65]

You're right, I didn't like the answer, but I agree with it. I'll try in the future to stay out of it, bite my tongue, but it's hard when my husband puts 500% into his kids and he still gets dragged into court for more, more, more. Bring clothes back and forth isn't a problem. My 16 yr stepdaughter does this. It's the principle of keeping the kids out of domestic issues. I realize it will continue until we are all dead, but it's still hard.... Sometimes it disturbs me so much when he talks about the "latest", I want to just tell him don't tell me anything. Because I usually express my opinion and then he accuses me of trying to control is decisions.....

About counseling...we asked his attorney about seeking counseling for the 9yr old and even the 16 yr old, if she wants to go...Our attorney states that we need the mother's permission, and she WON'T give it to us, since it's a 50/50 physical/legal custody. When he goes back to court for the modification, do you think the judge would listen to him about sending the 9yr old to counseling and override the mother. My husband is willing to pay $100% the cost, take them to the visits, etc.... She doesn't have to pay 1 cent. If we voice our concerns about his grades, withdrawals when he comes to us and when he goes to his moms. His lack of spirit and just laying around in his room??? Would that be enough for the judge to give us permission. Wouldn't it look bad if the mother objected????? Isn't the best interest of the children what's important.

I was a divorced parent for 16 years, and didn't have nearly as many hurdles as my husband does...

In regards to karma coming in her way....if it wasn't for the fact that my 16yr stepdaughter wants to graduate in the school she currently attends, she told us that she would rather live with us permanently.... She's dealing with this whole mess until then....

 

[casa]

Hard to tell what judges will or will not do, but I find it likely that he would agree that counseling has positive benefits. I myself think a parent who objects is hiding something- but then again I tend to think counseling is beneficial for children of divorce.

Good luck to you!