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child support question

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curtisfamily

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?New York My ex and I have joint 50/50 custody of our 4 children. Im the custodial parent and I receive the child support. My ex tells our children that he doesnt have to buy them anything,ie school clothes, school supplies,etc... He tells them I give your mom child support ask her.Yet they live with him just as much as they live with me, why should I have to supply clothes for his house and my house also, I would never see the clothes or whatever I bought for them again. He makes 3x as much as I do. Can he do this to me?
 


NotSoNew

Senior Member
curtisfamily said:
Yet they live with him just as much as they live with me, why should I have to supply clothes for his house and my house also,
yet they live with him just as much as they live with you, yet he pays you child support AND is expected to pay for things when they are with him? seems a bit contridictory doesnt it?

however I think he is responsible to provide his own clothing for them while they are at his house. He is not resposible to provide anything extra to take to your house.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
The simple answer is no, he is not required to provide more than is required under the support order.

If you want that changed, then you need to file a motion to amend the current order. Don't be surprised if the judge lashes you both.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
The simple answer is no, he is not required to provide more than is required under the support order.

If you want that changed, then you need to file a motion to amend the current order. Don't be surprised if the judge lashes you both.
Are you sure? Is NY not a state that takes parenting time into consideration when setting child support orders?
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
LdiJ said:
Are you sure? Is NY not a state that takes parenting time into consideration when setting child support orders?
yep. VERY sure. Unless the specifics are spelled out in the order he doesn't even have to purchase them a pot to piss in.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
And if so, the CO already figures he has 50% of the cost of feeding, housing and transporting the kids. And STILL he's paying CS.
 
curtisfamily said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?New York My ex and I have joint 50/50 custody of our 4 children. Im the custodial parent and I receive the child support. My ex tells our children that he doesnt have to buy them anything,ie school clothes, school supplies,etc... He tells them I give your mom child support ask her.Yet they live with him just as much as they live with me, why should I have to supply clothes for his house and my house also, I would never see the clothes or whatever I bought for them again. He makes 3x as much as I do. Can he do this to me?
Why do you send any more clothes over to his house than the clothes on their backs? If your court order does not specify you as the one to buy all clothes then he has an obligation to support his own house which includes clothes while they are there.

One set of clothes. Period. The kids leave your house in a set of clothing. They come back to your house in a set of clothing. He can either make them wear the same outfit the entire time they are there. Or he will have to supply at least one change for laundry purposes. I don't know how old your children are but if they are over toddler age, having to wear the same outfit to school several days in a row will cause mutiny I think. That is what I would do anyways.

He has to pay child support because his income is higher even though he has them 50% of the time. You didn't state that your court order states that you then have the obligation to support them 100% per both household from that point forward.
 

xrevvyx

Member
mom6stepmom2 said:
One set of clothes. Period. The kids leave your house in a set of clothing. They come back to your house in a set of clothing. He can either make them wear the same outfit the entire time they are there. Or he will have to supply at least one change for laundry purposes. I don't know how old your children are but if they are over toddler age, having to wear the same outfit to school several days in a row will cause mutiny I think. That is what I would do anyways.

WOW. You are a stellar example of what NOT to do.

The clothes belong to the "KIDS" .. they should be able to take their things between their parents houses .. how nice that you would suggest someone keep their kids in the same clothes for a WEEK (they share 50/50) -- you're a piece of work .. and if the idiot OP follows your little gem of advice.. she is a piece of SOMETHING else.
 
It's reality, though, revvy. Every weekend that my dh has visitation with his daughter, she only shows up with the clothes on her back. Infact, if bm can get away with it, she sends her in the rattiest old clothes she can. Her shoes broke once while she was over here and of course we had to buy her new shoes to send her home in! Sometimes I wonder if that was bm's plan, not that we don't mind buying clothing for dh's daughter (we have a whole wardrobe.) You pretty much can't depend on the common sense of parents when it comes to children, clothing, and custody/visitation. That's why lawyers make so much money. :D
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Well, my kids go in what they wore to school on Friday, and that's what they return in. Their Dad provides what they need in between. I used to send changes of clothes - I'd get back stuff that didn't fit them and/or I'd get complaints about what I allow them to wear. So I quit sending anything, and he can dress them as he likes on his time. It's easier on the kids, as well - they don't need to try to remember what they brought or worry about taking something that belongs to one of the skids.
 
xrevvyx said:
WOW. You are a stellar example of what NOT to do.

The clothes belong to the "KIDS" .. they should be able to take their things between their parents houses .. how nice that you would suggest someone keep their kids in the same clothes for a WEEK (they share 50/50) -- you're a piece of work .. and if the idiot OP follows your little gem of advice.. she is a piece of SOMETHING else.
Actually I did not suggest someone keep their kids in the same clothes for a week. What I did suggest is this....if a parent is faced with no extra clothes for the kids except what they provide themselves, well then they can go to the store and provide those clothes.

I am speaking from years of experience on this subject. I made the HUGE mistake 5 years ago of packing a bag full of clean clothes for my children to take to their dad's for the weekend. What I get in return every weekend they come home from their dad's is a bag full of dirty clothes I have to wash, fold, and put away. My ex won't even wash the clothes the kids wear. He has never provided any clothes for the kids. He will call occationally and say he needs me to send their swimsuits, their dress clothes, their shorts, etc. Never has occured to him to go out and purchase any of this himself. Why should he? I have purchased all their clothes and do not recommend this situation to anyone else. But, at the same time I don't really feel my ex can afford to go out and purchase a complete wardrobe for the kids. But it does sound as if the OP's ex does have the funds to do so.
 

curtisfamily

Junior Member
Yes, I agree with you, I think he should purchase clothes for his children when they are at his house. He makes 60grand a yr compared to my paltry 13 and Im suppose to supply clothes to his household and mine, I dont think so! I tried to do that in the beginning, but like you I too received home a bag full of dirty laundry, but most times it wouldnt come home at all. I would never see their good clothes again so I stopped doing that. But explain this to me, the ex goes out and buys really nice b-day presents and xmas presents for his children, but they are not allowed to take any of those presents to my house to play with, so why cant he spend the money on clothing for his house and not send that either!? He doesnt have to go buy a whole new wardrobe for his kids, just some basics,ie socks, underwear, come on I mean really clothes are pretty cheap at walmart, he cant pick up a couple of shirts and pants for the kids, but he has money to go out and buy himself new skis in the winter and a new bike in the summer,How selfish is that!!!
 

Mbarr

Member
mom6stepmom2 said:
Actually I did not suggest someone keep their kids in the same clothes for a week. What I did suggest is this....if a parent is faced with no extra clothes for the kids except what they provide themselves, well then they can go to the store and provide those clothes.

I am speaking from years of experience on this subject. I made the HUGE mistake 5 years ago of packing a bag full of clean clothes for my children to take to their dad's for the weekend. What I get in return every weekend they come home from their dad's is a bag full of dirty clothes I have to wash, fold, and put away. My ex won't even wash the clothes the kids wear. He has never provided any clothes for the kids. He will call occationally and say he needs me to send their swimsuits, their dress clothes, their shorts, etc. Never has occured to him to go out and purchase any of this himself. Why should he? I have purchased all their clothes and do not recommend this situation to anyone else. But, at the same time I don't really feel my ex can afford to go out and purchase a complete wardrobe for the kids. But it does sound as if the OP's ex does have the funds to do so.
I'm assuming that if the kids had worn the clothes at your house, you would wash, fold and put away the clothes. I don't see that it's such a big deal if you have to wash the clothes they wore while at dad's house. Sheesh, you have to do laundry anyway.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I agree, MBarr - the clothes coming home dirty never bothered me. That always seems like a petty problem, to me.
 

haiku

Senior Member
send them HOME with thier clothes washed?...good lord....I plan my life accordingly so I don't have to do MY laundry on weekends, why would I want to do anyone elses..LOL
 

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