child support & support 4 kids

[shydragon]

What is the name of your state? Oregon

My boyfriend has a support case out of Montana and the mother has filed with support for kids now he has a worker in TX and a worker in MT who is trying to collect his support. With both agencys trying to collect it has doubled. We are trying to pay it down. Also his daughters mother won't let him see her. We have offered to pay for all the travel but she refuses visitation. His daughter who will be 12 the first week of July wants to come see him and not only that wants to live with us. How old does a child have to be able to choose whom they live with?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? Oregon

My boyfriend has a support case out of Montana and the mother has filed with support for kids now he has a worker in TX and a worker in MT who is trying to collect his support. With both agencys trying to collect it has doubled. We are trying to pay it down.

Okay. Lots of states. I notice he isn't here handling his own business, as somehow seems to be the norm.

Also his daughters mother won't let him see her. We have offered to pay for all the travel but she refuses visitation.

Any court orders? Any specifics?

His daughter who will be 12 the first week of July wants to come see him and not only that wants to live with us.

She hasn't seen him + but wants to live with him + she's 12. = Not bloody likely.

How old does a child have to be able to choose whom they live with?

18, generally.

 

[fairisfair]

your boyfriend does have the right to dispute if he is being garnished for the same child support order by more than one state, have him ask the employer for copies of the garnishments, front and back, there should be forms attached that will give him instructions on how to proceed. Oh, yeah and like Silver said, (maybe nicer) tell him to take care of his own business. You have no business getting in the middle of either his support or custody issues.

 

[Silverplum]

Oh, yeah and like Silver said, (maybe nicer) tell him to take care of his own business. You have no business getting in the middle of either his support or custody issues.

You're usually nicer.

 

[fairisfair]

You're usually nicer.

no, I meant that you were nicer, actually I think that originally I had the words "be a man" in there somewhere

 

[Silverplum]

no, I meant that you were nicer, actually I think that originally I had the words "be a man" in there somewhere

I should have written, "You are usually nicer than I." And then, gleefully, tossed in some facies.

And you should've left that phrase, "be a man," IN.

 

[Gracie3787]

Just a friendly reminder to silverplum and fairisfair:

Very very often a NCP is WORKING in order to pay CS and very very often the GF or wife has more time to be able to do research and ask questions. I'm sorry, but I get rather irritated when I see a wife or GF being put down for trying to help thier BF or husband. We 2nd wives or GFs are actually a driving force behind our men paying CS, we are the ones who sometimes has to do without our own needs or wants because of CS, and quite often we are the ones who have to remind our husband or BF that paying is the right thing to do.

Now, on the other hand, if an OP is asking how to help thier husband or BF get out of paying CS, I wholeheartedly agree that something should be said and I'd join right in with you because to me, there is no excuse for helping someone be a deadbeat Dad.

Please don't put a poster down for trying to help thier husband or BF be a good father.
Gracie

 

[Silverplum]

Just a friendly reminder to silverplum and fairisfair:

Very very often a NCP is WORKING in order to pay CS and very very often the GF or wife has more time to be able to do research and ask questions. I'm sorry, but I get rather irritated when I see a wife or GF being put down for trying to help thier BF or husband. We 2nd wives or GFs are actually a driving force behind our men paying CS, we are the ones who sometimes has to do without our own needs or wants because of CS, and quite often we are the ones who have to remind our husband or BF that paying is the right thing to do.

Now, on the other hand, if an OP is asking how to help thier husband or BF get out of paying CS, I wholeheartedly agree that something should be said and I'd join right in with you because to me, there is no excuse for helping someone be a deadbeat Dad.

Please don't put a poster down for trying to help thier husband or BF be a good father.
Gracie

I appreciate you writing your POV in such a pleasant fashion. I disagree with your broad points, but you sure are pleasant!

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state? Oregon

My boyfriend has a support case out of Montana and the mother has filed with support for kids now he has a worker in TX and a worker in MT who is trying to collect his support. With both agencys trying to collect it has doubled. We are trying to pay it down. Also his daughters mother won't let him see her. We have offered to pay for all the travel but she refuses visitation. His daughter who will be 12 the first week of July wants to come see him and not only that wants to live with us. How old does a child have to be able to choose whom they live with?

My husband had the same thing happen. Your BF needs to write a letter to the CSE agency of the state that the order in NOT in. He needs to explain the situation and tell them that the state where the order is is already doing a garnishment and that both federal and state law forbids them to also garnish. This is what my husband did and it worked.

Is there an order for visitation? If so and mom is denying visitation he should file for contempt. If there isn't a visitation order, he needs to file for one ASAP.
In most states a child cannot "choose" who they live with as long as they are a minor. So at age 12 it is doubtful that a Judge will allow a custody change based solely on the 12 yr old's wishes.

 

[Gracie3787]

I appreciate you writing your POV in such a pleasant fashion. I disagree with your broad points, but you sure are pleasant!

Thank you, I try to be nice but sometimes I'm naughty and not so nice. but I usually reserve that for the real idiot posters and neither you nor fairisfair are idiots.

 

[happybug]

I think a man who has his new partner doing his legal legwork is a bit more of a man than the ones who are having their mommys do it.

 

[Gracie3787]

I think a man who has his new partner doing his legal legwork is a bit more of a man than the ones who are having their mommys do it.

My personal view- it doesn't matter who does the research, the important thing is that kids get CS and NCP's get treated fair.

 

[AHA]

Just a friendly reminder to silverplum and fairisfair:

Very very often a NCP is WORKING in order to pay CS and very very often the GF or wife has more time to be able to do research and ask questions. I'm sorry, but I get rather irritated when I see a wife or GF being put down for trying to help thier BF or husband. We 2nd wives or GFs are actually a driving force behind our men paying CS, we are the ones who sometimes has to do without our own needs or wants because of CS, and quite often we are the ones who have to remind our husband or BF that paying is the right thing to do.

Now, on the other hand, if an OP is asking how to help thier husband or BF get out of paying CS, I wholeheartedly agree that something should be said and I'd join right in with you because to me, there is no excuse for helping someone be a deadbeat Dad.

Please don't put a poster down for trying to help thier husband or BF be a good father.
Gracie

Nobody works 24/7, and if NCP has to do that so that the new partner can sit at home all day, the new partner needs to get a job and help on his/her end.
The partner can do research, sure, but give NCP the website for him/her to get on and get help with their problem. The internet never close.

 

[fairisfair]

I appreciate you writing your POV in such a pleasant fashion. I disagree with your broad points, but you sure are pleasant!

I agree, to disagree, having a third person involved rarely does anything but muddy the waters and cause resentment from the other spouse. I did give her the correct information though, and told her how to have BF dispute the double dipping. Nobody put her down, just suggested that it was better for him to do his own work. and I am sticking to it!! But I agree with S, you are kind of nice

 

[fairisfair]

Oh my my my!!!

this might change your mind Gracie

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=326074