Child support - Zero Visitation

[ProSeAgain]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

My ex sent me an email last week stating that he would no longer be taking his 2 kids for any overnight visitation, including his every other weekend, Fri-Sun, holidays, vacations, etc., and he didn't know how long this would last(but for the foreseable future, for sure). My question is, is this a basis to modify child support, as I now have them 100% of the time, and the original order deviated from the support guidelines (less) because I knew he wasn't making a lot of money?

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

My ex sent me an email last week stating that he would no longer be taking his 2 kids for any overnight visitation, including his every other weekend, Fri-Sun, holidays, vacations, etc., and he didn't know how long this would last(but for the foreseable future, for sure). My question is, is this a basis to modify child support, as I now have them 100% of the time, and the original order deviated from the support guidelines (less) because I knew he wasn't making a lot of money?

It depends.

First, you said that the guidelines were deviated from due to you knowing he wasn't making alot of money. That doesn't matter at this point, the question is was it written into the order that the amount was adjusted for the court ordered parenting time?

Second, since he has only told you that he will not be exercising his time, you really don't have anything to bring to court. If you were to file now, he would almost certainly retract, and it would be pointless.

IF the order was adjusted for parenting time, and IF he really doesn't use his time for about 2 to 3 months then you can consider going for a modification.

What reason is he giving for not wanting to use his parenting time?

 

[ProSeAgain]

First, there is no "court-ordered" parenting time. When we divorced, I was in NC and he was in FL. We signed a separation agreement, which allowed him liberal and reasonable visitation; the separation agreement was not incorporated with the final divorce decree, under advice of counsel. Once I moved to FL, I tried to get him to agree to a formal visitation/parenting agreement, but he refused. No where in the agreement or child support order is the amount of parenting time taken into consideration as regards the amount of child support, so I guess that is a non-starter.

His stated reason for no longer excersing his visitation rights is that our daughter "obviously doesn't want to be with them on the weekends she is at their house" (she is 11, isn't allowed to have friends over, and spends her time reading, watching tv, or playing on the computer) and that our son is "opening hostile to his wife" (which he may well be - and I have talked to him about respecting others, etc., whether he likes them or not - but she calls him names, puts him down, so she gets from him what she gives him), and that the only positive thing that comes out of his kids being there is that I get a babysitter every other weekend. He also says "he is not giving up on the kids, but he has to look out for his own home situation". Translation: his wife does not like kids, doesn't want our kids around, and has made it abundantly clear from day one. She makes a lot of money, so my ex does not want to rock the boat when it comes to his lifestyle, so will do whatever she says (and not just in regard to the kids).

We have both agreed that our son needs counseling, but he refuses to pay half the cost because he can't afford it; however, he is currently on a two week ski trip in Switzerland, so I don't believe money is really a consideration.

 

[Isis1]

First, there is no "court-ordered" parenting time. When we divorced, I was in NC and he was in FL. We signed a separation agreement, which allowed him liberal and reasonable visitation; the separation agreement was not incorporated with the final divorce decree, under advice of counsel. Once I moved to FL, I tried to get him to agree to a formal visitation/parenting agreement, but he refused. No where in the agreement or child support order is the amount of parenting time taken into consideration as regards the amount of child support, so I guess that is a non-starter.

His stated reason for no longer excersing his visitation rights is that our daughter "obviously doesn't want to be with them on the weekends she is at their house" (she is 11, isn't allowed to have friends over, and spends her time reading, watching tv, or playing on the computer) and that our son is "opening hostile to his wife" (which he may well be - and I have talked to him about respecting others, etc., whether he likes them or not - but she calls him names, puts him down, so she gets from him what she gives him), and that the only positive thing that comes out of his kids being there is that I get a babysitter every other weekend. He also says "he is not giving up on the kids, but he has to look out for his own home situation". Translation: his wife does not like kids, doesn't want our kids around, and has made it abundantly clear from day one. She makes a lot of money, so my ex does not want to rock the boat when it comes to his lifestyle, so will do whatever she says (and not just in regard to the kids).

We have both agreed that our son needs counseling, but he refuses to pay half the cost because he can't afford it; however, he is currently on a two week ski trip in Switzerland, so I don't believe money is really a consideration.

looks like he doesn't have the money. his sugar momma wife does. and from the sounds of it, she's not going to give him anything because he might spend a few dollars on his kids.

admin asked me not to call anyone names anymore...so...your ex is a piece of "work". "his own home situation".

 

[Zephyr]

so you are going to deny your son treatment because dad won't pay half?

 

[ProSeAgain]

"so you are going to deny your son treatment because dad won't pay half?"

Actually, no, I am not denying him treatment because Dad won't pay, I was "denying" it because I can't afford it on my own. It's not as if Dad and I hadn't had many emails and discussions regarding the need for counseling for our son and he agreed it was a necessity. The insurance policy under which my son is covered doesn't have any mental health providers who have adolescent and family qualifications. However, I have made an appt. for him to start seeing a counselor (along with myself and his sister, together and separately), even though I don't have the money. I will have to charge it to my CCs 'til they're maxed out and then figure out a way to keep paying for it some other way. I have also made arrangements for him to see the guidance counselor at his school. Unlike his Dad, I don't have the "luxury" of quitting my job as a parent just because things are difficult and says that his only legal obligation is to pay child support and health insurance, forget his moral, ethical or emotional obligation to his kids, but thanks for asking.

 

[Gracie3787]

First, there is no "court-ordered" parenting time. When we divorced, I was in NC and he was in FL. We signed a separation agreement, which allowed him liberal and reasonable visitation; the separation agreement was not incorporated with the final divorce decree, under advice of counsel. Once I moved to FL, I tried to get him to agree to a formal visitation/parenting agreement, but he refused. No where in the agreement or child support order is the amount of parenting time taken into consideration as regards the amount of child support, so I guess that is a non-starter.

His stated reason for no longer excersing his visitation rights is that our daughter "obviously doesn't want to be with them on the weekends she is at their house" (she is 11, isn't allowed to have friends over, and spends her time reading, watching tv, or playing on the computer) and that our son is "opening hostile to his wife" (which he may well be - and I have talked to him about respecting others, etc., whether he likes them or not - but she calls him names, puts him down, so she gets from him what she gives him), and that the only positive thing that comes out of his kids being there is that I get a babysitter every other weekend. He also says "he is not giving up on the kids, but he has to look out for his own home situation". Translation: his wife does not like kids, doesn't want our kids around, and has made it abundantly clear from day one. She makes a lot of money, so my ex does not want to rock the boat when it comes to his lifestyle, so will do whatever she says (and not just in regard to the kids).

We have both agreed that our son needs counseling, but he refuses to pay half the cost because he can't afford it; however, he is currently on a two week ski trip in Switzerland, so I don't believe money is really a consideration.

No, him not exercising his right to visit is not a reason to have the CS modified in your situation.

Since neither you nor Dad really have the money available for private counseling, you should go to your local mental health clinic for help. Most will have a sliding scale so the fees will be based on income. Then, if you still need help paying, you can take Dad back to court to try to get a court order for Dad to help pay for counseling.

BTW- The ski trip is not relevent at all since he can easily say that his wife is paying for it.

Also, just for future clarification- was your court order issued in FL?

 

[ProSeAgain]

Also, just for future clarification- was your court order issued in FL?

No, it was issued in NC and then registered in FL when I moved here.