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child support

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dadinpa

Guest
What is the name of your state? Pa

I recently was awarded primary custody of my 10-yr old daughter. He mother held primary physical custody for the first ten years, however, due to undesirable circumstances the courts awarded me primary custody last week.

Over one year ago, when mother was still holding primary custody, she absolved our support order and vacated her rights to any and all arrears owed by me due to the fact that the child would be living with me and she would be unable to support her while in my home.

I am seeking child support from her now and her lawyer informed me that they would attempt to have the back arrears ($900.00) reinstated.

If the mother absolved this one year ago, can she reinstate it now that I have custody and am taking her for support?

Thank you
 


D

dadinpa

Guest
re

Grace,

I was never sent an official order of the court but back in 2001, the mother and I both went up to Domestic Relation together and signed a paper absolving the support duty. I got a copy from D.R. showing that the arrears was brought to zero. Is that considered an order of the court?
 
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njmom

Guest
question?

You mentioned in your post that due to the fact that she would not be able to afford to pay you support while the child was at your home......I assume that this is why she let the arrears go.....
Now, you want support, knowing that she can't afford it.....Believe me, I am all for both parents doing there part but I am just a little confused as to how now you expect her to pay you after she was kind enough to let the arrears go......This is the kind of stuff that causes problems from the beginning, this is the same kind of crap that made my relationship with my Ex a horrible one because he would do the same kind of stuff.....Please forgive me if I read your post wrong, but I would think that maybe you could let the mom go for a little while and kind of deduct what you think is a fair amout per week from the 900.00 in arrears, and once all of the deductions were made, then go to the courts and come to an agreement of what a fair amount would be or let the courts decide. It seems as though she really doesn't have a pot to piss in and it's just going to make things worse for your relationship with the mother and in turn make it a horrible experience for your daughter!!...Also please forgive me if I seem so harsh, it's just that parents need to work together and try to come to some kind of agreements, before it gets to the point of letting a judge make the final decisions.
 
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dadinpa

Guest
nj mom

you have seriously misunderstood. The arrears were absolved more than one year ago. Ath the time, her mother was addicted to drugs, the reason she was living with me then and the reason she has lost custody of her.

Now, her mother has obtained a job and is working double-shifts at a nursing home. The is only able tyo see her daughter 4 days a month. She does have a pot to piss in, dear. She is making much more money than i am and Ihave other children living with me to support as well.

My question was never even addressed in your response and I would appreciate thatif you did not have a reply that you did not
 
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njmom

Guest
first of all...........

You did not ask for one particular person to respond!!...Secondly, I did apologize if I misunderstood......however, IGGGG....I take that back.....and I am sure she wishes she did not let the arrears just go away!!!.....And she must be doing damn well, to get a job at a nursing home.....Leads me to believe that she must not do drugs.........And by the way, it is not her problem that you have other children to take care of.......GET A BETTER JOB AND A BETTER LIFE!!!!!!
 
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dadinpa

Guest
lol

nj, mom..I am not looking to get into a cat fight with you. I sense that fact that I am a father with custody of my daughter bothers you, which is just fine. I requested some legal advise and was given just that from Grace without her personal feelings. My second post was addressed to Grace.

i cannot write a book of my situation and there is much you do not know. I will leave it at that.

I wish you luck, nj mom, and hopefully you are not this disgruntled with all men.
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
I'm not familiar with Domestic Relations. Is that the same as the Child Support Enforcement Agency?

It sounds like everything is legal and would hold up in a court of law. However, that's just an opinion. You can always give them a call, just tell them you have a general question, you don't have to tell them who you are, and ask them.

NJmom means well. I understood what she was trying to say and she's not biased on either men or women. :)

Is there anyway you guys can work up some kind of arrangement temporarily. If you want to see what the courts would be asking for child support you can go to http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/index.html

Maybe there is some kind of arrangement you 2 can go by temporarily and then if it doesn't work out you can go to CSE and file. If you guys could leave the court out of it, I think that would be best. I say that to everyone. I know sometimes people can't work it out and don't have any other choice except to get the courts involved.
 
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njmom

Guest
thanks Grace!

I was not trying to take sides here, I was just trying to give some helpful advice as far as trying to keep the peace. My ex and I do that with my three year old son, and it is just so peaceful. We went through courts for custody and visitation but because he is high up in his position, it is best that he has no wage garnishments, so we came to an agreement, he has yet to ever in the two and a half years we have not been together missed a payment yet!!...Guess what, he is happy, I am happy, and because we are both happy my son is happy and that is what is most important!!...Most parents think that it has to get ugly and go through the court system....guess what they dont care, you have to live with their decision if you as parents cant come to an agreement, they will tell you how it is going to be and most times it is very unfavorable...........Good Luck and thanks for taking my back on this Grace......Good Luck Dadinpa!!
 

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