child support

[mcdinane]

What is the name of your state? Florida

my question is simple. i have custody of my three children. one child does not understand what "child support" actually means or covers. she feels the child support that her father pays to me should be spent for her own personal needs and to spend as she sees fit...basically thinking the child support amount paid for her should be handed right to her. please give me as many examples of what "child support" covers as you can. i can't seem to get it across to her.

 

[annefan]

If the child support money was to be allocated directly to the child, then perhaps hand over the cash to the child and tell him/her to have fun providing shelter, food and necessities to him/her-self.

 

[lsut1ger]

CS is to cover expenses such as food and shelter, utilities, clothing, school supplies, health care expenses, child care expenses, gas money for transportation etc.

Exactly how much does he pay "per child" a month? Maybe you should "offer" her the portion of CS that you receive for her and tell her she's on her own to go and find shelter, food, clothing, etc. with that $.

Don't forget, YOU are the parent, you are NOT accountable to a child. My parents seriously would have put me through the wall for questioning them on something like that. Not saying you should put anyone through the wall, just that you should demand more respect than what you seem to be getting.

 

[lsut1ger]

whoops, posted at the same time annefan...

great minds think alike I guess...

 

[stealth2]

How old is this kid? I like the idea annefan and lsut1ger had - but first I'd remove anything that you've purchased for her from her room. All yours, sweetie - have fun!

(edit) Another idea - have her sit down with you and help you go through your budget and pay the bills. Might give her a better idea of what things actually cost.

 

[mcdinane]

thanks for your replies. i guess i need to give a little background. my ex and i wrote the settlement agreement that we both (and a judge) signed. at the time of divorce the kids were 10, 14, and 17. he insisted the agreement state the amount of child support would remain the same for all three kids until the last one graduated high school -- knowing full well the oldest two would be attending college and out of my house. since my boyfriend moved in, he withdrew the older two's support and because i'm taking him to court and the girls know about it they want to know what "child support" i am still entitled to since they're out of the house (they are both in college). they have college funds that we both contributed to when we were married.

 

[annefan]

thanks for your replies. i guess i need to give a little background. my ex and i wrote the settlement agreement that we both (and a judge) signed. at the time of divorce the kids were 10, 14, and 17. he insisted the agreement state the amount of child support would remain the same for all three kids until the last one graduated high school -- knowing full well the oldest two would be attending college and out of my house. since my boyfriend moved in, he withdrew the older two's support and because i'm taking him to court and the girls know about it they want to know what "child support" i am still entitled to since they're out of the house (they are both in college). they have college funds that we both contributed to when we were married.

In short:
Order signed by judge states father pays xxx dollars until youngest minor reaches h.s. graduation...father ceases paying portion of support for 2 children who reside at colleges...you're taking him to court and the girls know about it...they want answers to their question as to how much money you are entitled to since they're out of the house.
The answer to the girls is:
simply "none of your business, the child support is a matter between dad and myself, not either of you". Period.

 

[mcdinane]

annefan,
wow -- you summed up my question better than i ever could. i know in my head that i don't have to defend/explain myself to the girls because i'm the parent, but my heart still tries. i guess that's what i'll ultimately have to do because nothing else i say makes any difference. i worked very hard through the whole separation/divorce process to keep the kids out of the middle and now that he did this i'll have to take the gloves off too. they don't understand it's not a money issue -- but a commitment issue. unfortunately, the ones that don't understand are choosing sides. that's exactly what i didn't want to happen. we'll leave it up to a judge.