child support

[shel]

What is the name of your state? I live in Florida but used to live in Massachusetts. I pay child support to my ex spose. We had a non-contested divorce and have an agreement between the two of us. My question is, am I entitled to an expendature to prove the support is actually going to my child and not just for my ex's needs? I'm not sure between the laws in both states. But, I do plan to file for custody of my son and would like some help if possible. Do I need to acquire an attorney in Florida since I now live in this state and my son lives with his father in Massachusetts? Or, do I need to get an attorney there. He lives in that state still because he wouldn't let me take him out of state. Thanks.

 

[Zephyr]

What is the name of your state? I live in Florida but used to live in Massachusetts. I pay child support to my ex spose. We had a non-contested divorce and have an agreement between the two of us. My question is, am I entitled to an expendature to prove the support is actually going to my child and not just for my ex's needs?

no you are not entitled to an accounting of how cs is spent


I'm not sure between the laws in both states. But, I do plan to file for custody of my son and would like some help if possible. Do I need to acquire an attorney in Florida since I now live in this state and my son lives with his father in Massachusetts?

you will need an attorney from mass

Or, do I need to get an attorney there. He lives in that state still because he wouldn't let me take him out of state. Thanks.

did he prevent you from removing the child through the courts? how long have you been out of state? do you have an order for visitation? did dad have custody before you moved?

 

[shel]

He prevented me from moving out of state with my son. I feel it is in the best interest of the child to be wtih me, but at the time, as to date, am still afraid my ex will cut me off from seeing my son. We have joint custody, unlimited visitations, when i can get back there, (i've been 5 times so far since april this year). The divorce became final on 8-8-05. I have been living in Florida since 4-15-05. We both had custody when I left. We were legally seperated as of 1-1-05 but continued living together as a family until I moved to Florida. At which time, my attorney that was representing me, began informing my ex how to go about keeping my son in that state and that is how this all happened. Any help would be appreciated. The only other way would be to uproot and move back to Mass which I really didn't want to do.

 

[Zephyr]

He prevented me from moving out of state with my son. I feel it is in the best interest of the child to be wtih me, but at the time, as to date, am still afraid my ex will cut me off from seeing my son. We have joint custody, unlimited visitations, when i can get back there, (i've been 5 times so far since april this year). The divorce became final on 8-8-05. I have been living in Florida since 4-15-05. We both had custody when I left. We were legally seperated as of 1-1-05 but continued living together as a family until I moved to Florida. At which time, my attorney that was representing me, began informing my ex how to go about keeping my son in that state and that is how this all happened. Any help would be appreciated. The only other way would be to uproot and move back to Mass which I really didn't want to do.

he prevented you from removing the child from the state once- what possible reason does the judge have to grant the move now that didn't exsist 8 months ago-

the move back to mass would be the smartest thing you could do

 

[shel]

and what if I chose to stay in florida since i have started working here?

 

[haiku]

massachusetts has the strictest laws in the US about moving children out of thier jurisdicition. the parent must have the permisiion of the non custodial parent, or must provide a compelling reason for the court to allow it.

Custody orders once established are nearly immpossible to change.

unless you have some compelling evidence as to why your ex should not have custody, you will not likely be ever able to overturn this judgement.

 

[shel]

That is really sad but thank you for your help. I tried to tell people this because I think its unfair but no one listen to me.

 

[CJane]

and what if I chose to stay in florida since i have started working here?

If you choose to stay there, you should probably resign yourself to only seeing your child 4 or 5 times a year. Your choice, and not one that I'd imagine it would be all that hard to make.

 

[Zephyr]

and what if I chose to stay in florida since i have started working here?

then your choosing your job over being involved in your child's life on a daily basis....

some people are fine with being a parent only on vacation times, are you?

 

[shel]

NO, my son lives with his dad who lives back with his parents and stays at my moms every weekend. Everyone is fully involved in his life. I talk to my son on a daily basis 2 times a day, not just on a part-time basis even though I am out of state. The basis of him living in that state is because all the family is back there and my ex doesn't think I can talk care of him out here by myself which I am fully capable of doing. And thats why he still lives in that state, which he can never leave because the same rule applies, if my ex husband wants to move out of state, he cannot with our son.

 

[haiku]

NO, my son lives with his dad who lives back with his parents and stays at my moms every weekend. Everyone is fully involved in his life. I talk to my son on a daily basis 2 times a day, not just on a part-time basis even though I am out of state. The basis of him living in that state is because all the family is back there and my ex doesn't think I can talk care of him out here by myself which I am fully capable of doing. And thats why he still lives in that state, which he can never leave because the same rule applies, if my ex husband wants to move out of state, he cannot with our son.

well actually, though its neither here nor there, being as you gave up pri**** custody to your ex, your ex may now have a compelling reason to leave the state, as you have already LEFT it too.

 

[shel]

Yes I did leave the state and chose to. I don't think I should have to live with my ex if I was in fear of him and you just can't take your child, thats kidnapping. As much as I love my son, I did was I thought was best at the time.

 

[Zephyr]

Yes I did leave the state and chose to. I don't think I should have to live with my ex if I was in fear of him and you just can't take your child, thats kidnapping. As much as I love my son, I did was I thought was best at the time.

well now you are faced with being this far away from your child or moving closer

 

[haiku]

as a mother myself, the "fear" excuse gets you nowhere with me....

If you fear someone so greatly, you have to move 1000 miles away from them, why the heck would you leave them with full physical custody of your child together?

Massachusetts is a pretty big state. there are parts of it outside the metro Boston area that ARE affordable to live in. You do not mention the big draw that brought you to florida, but really the crime rate there, far outweighs the "cost of living" thrill when it comes to choosing florida or massachusetts for raising kids.

It seems to me, you now regret that your need to live in florida, outweighed your need to be a fulltime parent to your child, and put thier need to be in proximity of both parents ahead of that want.