child support?

[stepmom199]

We live in NY State. My husband has 2 children from a prior marriage for which we have been paying child support. 3 years ago, my husband and his ex decided not to have the state of NY automatically take it out of his pay check and we were paying her child support directly. In addition to child support paid to the ex-wife, we have provided all items both children needed. Clothing, haircuts, school supplies, Doctor's, Dentist and Optical appointments/visits and all other medical expenses. We provided most everything, knowing that in the end, it was the children who would have suffered.
For 11 years, the children have been living with us all school vacations, weekends and summers and any other time we can be with them. Now, the oldest child has chosen to live with us full time and moved in with us this past September. We stopped paying child support to the ex, but continue to provide both children with what they need. It made sense at the time - we have one child - she has the other and the ex didn't seem to have any objections.
She recently split from her live in boyfriend with whom she had another child, and is now living in an apartment with my husband’s other son and this other child.
She is threatening to take us back to court to continue support payments. She seems to think that she is entitled to 10% of our combined income - that would crush us with a monthly payment that's more than our mortgage. She is quite confident in what she believes she could get by taking us to court and I believe she just might do it, regardless of the effect it will have on the kids.
Keep in mind - this has been a very amicable arrangement up until this time. No lawyers or legal agreements have been drafted with regard to anything since the divorce 12 years ago.
I don't know what our legal rights are in a situation like this or even where to turn.
Please, if you can offer any advice - we would greatly appreciate it. I'm so sorry this is so long - but we're really at our wits end.

 

[789okforme]

If you have documentation that you have been paying all expenses for the children and have had them on all those days it may have some relevance in a court case. My advice is to keep a journal of all events. All her threats, the living conditions the kids are in at your house compared to her house, days you have the kids, etc. The ex should not be able to come after the non-biological parent's income. If no legal documents are drawn up then the only thing you have will be documentation. If you have one child full time and the other part time then she shouldn't be able to get the same amount she was getting before. Child support is figured based on the biological parents income. And also the frequency of childrens stay with the parents. I also understand that you can get a paralegal to represent you if you cannot afford a lawyer. I would call a lawyer and at least get a consultation. Perhaps if she is faced with going to court on your terms then she will back off.

Good Luck.

 

[LegalBeagle]

I also understand that you can get a paralegal to represent you if you cannot afford a lawyer.

A paralegal can not represent a person or give ANY legal advise. They can however, help you fill in the forms and file with the court.

 

[LegalBeagle]

We live in NY State. My husband has 2 children from a prior marriage for which we have been paying child support. 3 years ago, my husband and his ex decided not to have the state of NY automatically take it out of his pay check and we were paying her child support directly. In addition to child support paid to the ex-wife, we have provided all items both children needed. Clothing, haircuts, school supplies, Doctor's, Dentist and Optical appointments/visits and all other medical expenses. We provided most everything, knowing that in the end, it was the children who would have suffered.
For 11 years, the children have been living with us all school vacations, weekends and summers and any other time we can be with them. Now, the oldest child has chosen to live with us full time and moved in with us this past September. We stopped paying child support to the ex, but continue to provide both children with what they need. It made sense at the time - we have one child - she has the other and the ex didn't seem to have any objections.
She recently split from her live in boyfriend with whom she had another child, and is now living in an apartment with my husband’s other son and this other child.
She is threatening to take us back to court to continue support payments. She seems to think that she is entitled to 10% of our combined income - that would crush us with a monthly payment that's more than our mortgage. She is quite confident in what she believes she could get by taking us to court and I believe she just might do it, regardless of the effect it will have on the kids.
Keep in mind - this has been a very amicable arrangement up until this time. No lawyers or legal agreements have been drafted with regard to anything since the divorce 12 years ago.
I don't know what our legal rights are in a situation like this or even where to turn.
Please, if you can offer any advice - we would greatly appreciate it. I'm so sorry this is so long - but we're really at our wits end.

*IF* you have fully documented everything.. and *if* there are no prior court orders, then you should have a very good chance to avoid some huge CS arrears demand.. but, chances are you will end up paying her something. Even with one child each, the court will look to balence the scales.

 

[stepmom199]

Thank you both for your responses. We have SOME documentation - I will take the time and gather more - It should not be that difficult.
There WAS the initial court order for support back when they were divorced 12 years ago. However, 3 years ago - both families moved out of the originating county, at which time the county sent notification that they would no longer deduct cs from my husband's pay and if she wanted to - she should bring the case to the new county court. Quite frankly - at the time she had no interest in doing so due to a DWI conviction and loss of her drivers license- she was afraid she would look to be an unfit mother and she wasn't willing to risk losing anything.
If the ex DOES take us to court - can we counter for support of the elder child and what are the chances we would be held in arrears from 3 years ago?

 

[LegalBeagle]

Thank you both for your responses. We have SOME documentation - I will take the time and gather more - It should not be that difficult.
There WAS the initial court order for support back when they were divorced 12 years ago. However, 3 years ago - both families moved out of the originating county, at which time the county sent notification that they would no longer deduct cs from my husband's pay and if she wanted to - she should bring the case to the new county court. Quite frankly - at the time she had no interest in doing so due to a DWI conviction and loss of her drivers license- she was afraid she would look to be an unfit mother and she wasn't willing to risk losing anything.
If the ex DOES take us to court - can we counter for support of the elder child and what are the chances we would be held in arrears from 3 years ago?

Whoooa.. that changes things.. if there is a CURRENT court order for hubby to pay, and he is not doing so then he is in contempt of the order. If he was ordered to pay $200/mnt 12 years ago, then you had better have proof that he has done so.

If she files, you need to get an attorney.