Child support

[Bhma7]

Thirteen years ago I was living with my girlfriend of four months. I always asked her if she if she remembered to take her birth control pills. Well one night after we made love she told me "oh! by the way I have gone off the birth control pills". Now I know why she held me in as long as she could. Sure enough she told me she was pregnant and moved out a couple of days later. While questioning her friends as to where she could be I found out that she had been known to get around with other men while I was with her. Now thirteen years later her and social services are taking me to court for back support because she has been on public assistance all these years.Yes the kid is mine. My question is why did it take social services 13 years to contact me when I've been in the same state(New York) all this time. Why should I have to pay for 13 years of public assistance for this kid? If they had contacted me when she had the child this kid probably would have not been on public assistance. 13 years ago this kid had the right to know who his father is and now he has had to grow up without one. I also don't like the fact that I have to pay child support to her when she has not gotten off her ass to get a job in those 13 years. If anyone out there is reading this I would appreciate your feedback.

 

[lovingmom]

new york dad of 13 yrs

im from mississippi---was there a order signed? cant get back ch sup if no order was established. do you admit to being the dad? if unsure get paternity test. you were never married so your no obligated to support if your not the blood father... if you are the father---get to know your child they can be wonderful comfort to an adult.. teach them good morals and standards....stress education in a positive view and spend as much time with child as possible...lifes short and its not the child fault she forgot her pill...it takes 2 to tango...teach child it is wrong to deceive and healthy, honest relationships care more about each other than how to trap someone...and remember people make mistakes and if social services are trying to get financial help for the child its out of the mothers hands if she receiving assistance....shes getting assistance (such as food and medical) because shes cant afford it..do you believe the state should foot the bill if your the biological father? when the mother receives assistance the state automatically takes control and she must cooroperate or she wont get assistance....good luck hope some of my words\advice were helpful...not downing you but if your a good person, youll do whats right for the child....ps you have the right to talk to her worker...might be beneficial.....

 

[Grace_Adler]

I don't know about the rest. I think it's ridiculous they didn''t try to find you and so on. You're child has a right to know you and she robbed you of those years. However she probably lied to them and told them she didn't know where you were so she could get assistance. Maybe you could prove fraud. You better do it now before you end up paying thousands of dollars back to the state, if you want to. They can make you pay back AFDC she recieved all those years because she wasn't getting money from you in their eyes. They call this back child support even though that's not really what it is. I know it's dumb but the same thing happened to my husband. They were married and living together and she went to DSS and told them she didn't know where he was. He had no knowledge of this and she got it for 3 years by fraud. DSS said oh well and made him pay it back. They wouldn't even investigate and we can prove that she committed fraud. But we shouldn't have to. They're suppose to investigate not us. Besides if he wasn't living there how did they have 2 more kids. Legally he's the father and his name is on the birth certificate because they were married. Sorry that's another story I got carried away. Anyway that's what's going on. Hope this helps.

 

[LegalBeagle]

Run to an attorney.