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Child Visitation

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semerade

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? MA
My 12 yrs old stepdaughter decided that she will have nothing to do with her father and me after we told her that we would like to limit her friend visitations on the weekends she visits us. She visits every other weekend(that is 4 days a month) and we do not get to see her much, and normally miss her. We always have her friends come over or sleep over, but not willing to let her go over a friend's house except special occasions, due to the fact that we don't get to see her often. She has not been visiting us for a month now because she is "mad at us" since we said we wanted to see more of her. Her mother is not being co-operative, and letting her get away with not visiting us because of a silly thing. By the way, my husband and his ex-wife have legal joint custody. The divorce paper says " both parties shall have legal joint custody. The wife shall have physical custody, and the father shall have the right to visit with the children at all reasonable times by agreement with the wife upon proper notice". I would like to find out what is the llegal way to bring my stepdaugther over here or someplace and explain her that what she is doing is hurtful for us, and we would like to have her visit us. O would very much appreciate any help. THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE!
 


brisgirl825

Senior Member
semerade said:
What is the name of your state? MA
My 12 yrs old stepdaughter decided that she will have nothing to do with her father and me after we told her that we would like to limit her friend visitations on the weekends she visits us. She visits every other weekend(that is 4 days a month) and we do not get to see her much, and normally miss her. We always have her friends come over or sleep over, but not willing to let her go over a friend's house except special occasions, due to the fact that we don't get to see her often. She has not been visiting us for a month now because she is "mad at us" since we said we wanted to see more of her. Her mother is not being co-operative, and letting her get away with not visiting us because of a silly thing. By the way, my husband and his ex-wife have legal joint custody. The divorce paper says " both parties shall have legal joint custody. The wife shall have physical custody, and the father shall have the right to visit with the children at all reasonable times by agreement with the wife upon proper notice". I would like to find out what is the llegal way to bring my stepdaugther over here or someplace and explain her that what she is doing is hurtful for us, and we would like to have her visit us. O would very much appreciate any help. THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE!
Your husband needs to get a modification asap. With that particular wording, it makes it difficult to bring contempt charges on his ex.
 
T

titansfan

Guest
dad should tell daughter his time is his not her friends time

you have the right to limit having friends over during your stepdaughters weekends with you, 4 days a month isnt very darn much.mom is wrong to not encourage her daughter to visit your husband and you for a whole month, id have been in court already.have your husband call his daughter and explaing that he and you miss her, and really want to see her, but she cant always have her way in regards to plans when its her time with dad.dad's time is his, and you and he expect her to spend time with you both, not 96 hours with her friends. good luck to you!
 

haiku

Senior Member
you need to take mom to court for contempt and a modification of the visitation.

I hope you have been documenting all visits and missed visits-requests for visits that were denied, to show that you were being reasonable on your end.

that is because of your husbands wording in his divorce papers. "Reasonable", because of that, you likely won't get a contempt charge to stick, but you can prove you have been denied reasonable attempts on your part to have visitation.

so, what your husband needs to do is set out a visitation schedule that is set in stone. You want those papers to say "every other weekend commencing on such and such date" that way you have something to pin a contempt charge on in the future if need be.

It is NOT the daughters decision whether she goes to visits or not, she will not have that right until there is no longer a court order. this problem is betwen your husband and his exwife. the exwife needs to send the kid whether the kid likes it or not, and your husband needs to enforce and modify his order.

one thing to keep in mind as kids get older is they do like to spend time with thier friends more than thier parents. So you do want to strike a happy medium, say one friend free weekend a month for example.
 

TNBSMommy

Member
titansfan said:
you have the right to limit having friends over during your stepdaughters weekends with you, 4 days a month isnt very darn much.mom is wrong to not encourage her daughter to visit your husband and you for a whole month, id have been in court already.have your husband call his daughter and explaing that he and you miss her, and really want to see her, but she cant always have her way in regards to plans when its her time with dad.dad's time is his, and you and he expect her to spend time with you both, not 96 hours with her friends. good luck to you!

Kelly, with all due respect...go take care of your 500 kids.

As you have already been told TODAY!!!! You can't always get what you want simply by telling people....
 

brisgirl825

Senior Member
titansfan said:
you have the right to limit having friends over during your stepdaughters weekends with you, 4 days a month isnt very darn much.mom is wrong to not encourage her daughter to visit your husband and you for a whole month, id have been in court already.have your husband call his daughter and explaing that he and you miss her, and really want to see her, but she cant always have her way in regards to plans when its her time with dad.dad's time is his, and you and he expect her to spend time with you both, not 96 hours with her friends. good luck to you!

Been in court with what, Kelley? Their order says that visitation has to be agreed upon by MOM AND DAD. There is nothing dad can do until there is a set visitation schedule. As it stands, mom has the right to deny visits.

Dad needs to modify the CO and have a set schedule. That way if mom denies visits, dad can file contempt charges.
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
titansfan said:
you have the right to limit having friends over during your stepdaughters weekends with you, 4 days a month isnt very darn much.mom is wrong to not encourage her daughter to visit your husband and you for a whole month, id have been in court already.have your husband call his daughter and explaing that he and you miss her, and really want to see her, but she cant always have her way in regards to plans when its her time with dad.dad's time is his, and you and he expect her to spend time with you both, not 96 hours with her friends. good luck to you!
I'm shocked you did not give your usual repetitive answer Kelly. "You are the Step and have no rights" :rolleyes:

Look and learn crazy Kelly...........

(QUOTE)The wife shall have physical custody, and the father shall have the right to visit with the children at all reasonable times by agreement with the wife upon proper notice".(QUOTE)

The mother obviously made it very liberal visitation, EVERY OTHER WEEKEND.

OH! And what are you drinking? I could hardly get through your post. You do have a herd of kids to take care of, remember? :rolleyes:


Now for my real answer.............Untill Dadio modifies the order, Mom is not obligated to anything more than "AGREED" visits. Liberal could be Christmas and Easter as far as the courts are concerned.

What 12 year old girl wouldn't want her friends over?
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
you would think with as many times as she's been told about her posts being off the mark that she would have adjusted her advice


or at least changed her name again ;) :D
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
WANNACRY said:
you would think with as many times as she's been told about her posts being off the mark that she would have adjusted her advice


or at least changed her name again ;) :D
Like we wouldn't know what her new name would be? ;)
 

Rushia

Senior Member
WANNACRY said:
you would think with as many times as she's been told about her posts being off the mark that she would have adjusted her advice


or at least changed her name again ;) :D
Poor Kelly, all those kids finally drove her to drinking.....
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
OP... just some thoughts regarding your husband's situation. Or rather, his daughter's situation. Yes, Dad needs to file for a modification to make his visitation more specific.

(Dear Abby advice to follow)

Apart from that, I wonder what more there is behind his daughter's unwillingness. That's what Dad needs to find out. I have an almost 12yo daughter myself, and I know that one of the things she finds most frustrating about spending time with her Dad is that......... she doesn't actually spend much time with her Dad. She expects to share him with her brother, but she also craves one-on-one time (and has said that one-on-two time would be fine). Something she really hasn't had much of since we split. And even less of since her Dad remarried. It's not that she doesn't like her stepmom or ssibs (well, I won't get into the latter), but she tires of having to ALWAYS share her Dad with all the others. With his "new" family.

Perhaps Dad could consider setting some time aside, say every third visit, where the two of them have time alone together. Not the whole weekend, but for an afternoon. Then one weekend would be "family" time. And one weekend she could bring a friend along.

Just something to consider.
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
OP... just some thoughts regarding your husband's situation. Or rather, his daughter's situation. Yes, Dad needs to file for a modification to make his visitation more specific.

(Dear Abby advice to follow)

Apart from that, I wonder what more there is behind his daughter's unwillingness. That's what Dad needs to find out. I have an almost 12yo daughter myself, and I know that one of the things she finds most frustrating about spending time with her Dad is that......... she doesn't actually spend much time with her Dad. She expects to share him with her brother, but she also craves one-on-one time (and has said that one-on-two time would be fine). Something she really hasn't had much of since we split. And even less of since her Dad remarried. It's not that she doesn't like her stepmom or ssibs (well, I won't get into the latter), but she tires of having to ALWAYS share her Dad with all the others. With his "new" family.

Perhaps Dad could consider setting some time aside, say every third visit, where the two of them have time alone together. Not the whole weekend, but for an afternoon. Then one weekend would be "family" time. And one weekend she could bring a friend along.

Just something to consider.
DITTO with Stealth. I do have a 12 yr old girl, although never divorced. 12 year old girls can be little self obsorbed vixins, as that is just what 12 year olds do. They are coming into their own. Friends, gossiping, starting periods, wanting the best clothes, earings, shoes,.(All from the Limited Too at the mall)............you name it. That is a 12 year old girl. I'm sure she loves her Daddy dearly, but as stated before,..........this is liberal visitation, and it sounds like Mom was doing that.

Take into account what 12 year old girls are like, and defuse yourselves and just talk to Mom.

Don't make a good situation into an ugly one.


That was my Dear Abby advice.
 

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