Child wants to live with other parents

[linnclark]

I live in Arizona and my children live in California. Their dad and I divorced due to his abuse, California have him 50/50 custody with full physical custody since I didn't have a job at the time and he did along with a home to house them in. Because of PTSD from him, my best option was to move. I see my kids during Spring, Summer, Winter breaks along with holidays and the courts allow me to see them anytime I please (Their dad hates that). Anyways my youngest is going to be 13 in February and he wants to live with me but he fears if he says something to his dad, then his dad will get back at him with retaliation. He has already threatened the children that if they ever live with me that they will be X'ed out of his life and his side of the family. I have a full-time job, make good money and have a home with a husband and other children living in the home. I am financial, emotionally and capable of taking care of my child.

My question is how can my son tell the courts he wants to live with me without his dad having knowledge of it at first? Can he talk to a judge and tell him he wants to live with me and then paperwork can be filed?

 

[LdiJ]

I live in Arizona and my children live in California. Their dad and I divorced due to his abuse, California have him 50/50 custody with full physical custody since I didn't have a job at the time and he did along with a home to house them in. Because of PTSD from him, my best option was to move. I see my kids during Spring, Summer, Winter breaks along with holidays and the courts allow me to see them anytime I please (Their dad hates that). Anyways my youngest is going to be 13 in February and he wants to live with me but he fears if he says something to his dad, then his dad will get back at him with retaliation. He has already threatened the children that if they ever live with me that they will be X'ed out of his life and his side of the family. I have a full-time job, make good money and have a home with a husband and other children living in the home. I am financial, emotionally and capable of taking care of my child.

My question is how can my son tell the courts he wants to live with me without his dad having knowledge of it at first? Can he talk to a judge and tell him he wants to live with me and then paperwork can be filed?

No, it cannot be done that way. You would have to file a motion to modify custody and dad would have to be served. Now, you could maybe file that motion while the children are with you on summer break, to give dad time to get over his initial upset over it. That might ease things a bit for your son.

However, you also need a change in circumstances in order to have a valid reason to file for a modification of custody. I do not recall whether or not CA considers a child's wishes sufficient grounds to file for a modification or not. Also, the judge will still make the decision based on the best interest of the child, so it's absolutely not a guaranteed win either.

 

[stealth2]

A change of custody will not happen without (a) a change of circumstance in the child's life and (b) the custodial parent (Dad) being served. The court may then appoint a GAL to represent the minor children. But you won't be able to circumvent (a)/(b). Honestly? It stinks to put a child in the middle of it. I'll tell you the same the men are told in the men's room - move closer to your child/ren.