childcare/after school care

[terp]

What is the name of your state? MD

I need to set up after school care for my kindergartener. I would prefer to arrange activities for afterschool as apposed to a daycare setting/environment. For example, on Mondays and Wednesdays he would have horse back riding lessons. And on Tuesday and Thursday, he would have guitar lessons. I have an arrangement with another Mother at the school bus stop who would walk or drive him where he needed to go. There are times that I am able to get home in time to atleast catch the last half of these activities but the pressure of trying to beat traffic on the commute home has me pulling my hair out. I do not want child to sit somewhere like a daycare when he could be learning something or experiencing something more positive.

Has anyone had any experience with convincing the other parent that it is a better situation for their child?

 

[terp]

I guess I just feel that it is time and money better spent.

 

[CJane]

Has anyone had any experience with convincing the other parent that it is a better situation for their child?

Well, are you trying to figure out how to get the other parent to agree to an unconventional daycare arrangement... or are you trying to figure out how to get the other parent to agree to pay a portion of the unconventional daycare arrangement?

Also, just because this is my area... if a coach was willing to give riding lessons 2X/week to a kindergartner w/out a parent in attendance, FOR ME that would be an ENORMOUS red flag. HUGE.

A lesson for a child that young shouldn't last more than 20 minutes, for one thing. I wouldn't even consider a student that young. And no reputable coach I have EVER worked with (and I've worked with my fair share of coaches) will not take on a student younger than 7 on a regular basis. And NEVER w/out a parent present for at least the first several lessons.

 

[terp]

Right now, childcare expenses are included in the CS figure and what I want is for son's father to agree with using that money towards these activites which would replace the standard "daycare" situation.

So yes, I am asking if these expenses could be considered and looked at like childcare expenses.

 

[CJane]

Right now, childcare expenses are included in the CS figure and what I want is for son's father to agree with using that money towards these activites which would replace the standard "daycare" situation.

So yes, I am asking if these expenses could be considered and looked at like childcare expenses.

If he agrees, yes. If he doesn't agree, it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY (and by that I mean not likely at ALL) that a judge would order dad to be responsible for even the smallest portion of the expenses.

 

[terp]

And C_Jane, we are familiar with the barn and the staff and other owners/riders are very familiar with us. His class is actually 40 minutes as it includes teaching son all the maintenance and care for his horse/pony. One of the girls at the barn is our sitter and neighbor. She is there everyday after school(highschool). I have spoken with her mother and it is agreed that she will keep an eye on him for 20 minutes out there until his instruction begins. Believe me. I am an anal-retentive mother....I would NEVER put my son in a potentially dangerous situation. Riding as with any sport has its dangers but the benefits are far greater than the risk.

 

[CJane]

And C_Jane, we are familiar with the barn and the staff and other owners/riders are very familiar with us. His class is actually 40 minutes as it includes teaching son all the maintenance and care for his horse/pony. One of the girls at the barn is our sitter and neighbor. She is there everyday after school(highschool). I have spoken with her mother and it is agreed that she will keep an eye on him for 20 minutes out there until his instruction begins. Believe me. I am an anal-retentive mother....I would NEVER put my son in a potentially dangerous situation. Riding as with any sport has its dangers but the benefits are far greater than the risk.

Believe me, me and my chiropractor and several xray technicians and the vet who just put down my horse after an injury are well aware of the dangers of horseback riding.

My kids have been on/around horses literally since before they could walk. The youngest has known my coach since she was born. And STILL no one that we know in our very extensive circle of equine professionals would take on a student that young.

And a high school student is going to be 'in charge' of him?

If Dad thinks this is a bad idea, he'd have an EASY time fighting the issue in court.

Fair warning.

 

[terp]

It is a shame that a judge would allow a generic daycare program where a child would be doing nothing to improve his/her mind or body. But not allow these expenses which would be a productive way for a child to spend free time.

ERRRRR..I was expecting that answer just hoping that someone out there had success in a similar type situation.

Thank you!

 

[terp]

Ok...say I arranged for him to go to a learning center where he would have extra help with reading and math. It is not a daycare center and could not be looked down on in any way what so ever. Could that be considered in the equation? I just want my kiddo to be doing something productive in this time and have yet to find a program that I feel he would benefit from. If I am going to pay for him to be watched I would prefer to pay for someone to teach him something.

I just need some coverage for about 30-40 minutes after the bus lets him off. Some days I am on time. It is just those odd days that make the world and its population move at a snail's pace. I need the peace of mind that he is "covered" and in a good environment.

 

[CJane]

Ok...say I arranged for him to go to a learning center where he would have extra help with reading and math. It is not a daycare center and could not be looked down on in any way what so ever. Could that be considered in the equation? I just want my kiddo to be doing something productive in this time and have yet to find a program that I feel he would benefit from. If I am going to pay for him to be watched I would prefer to pay for someone to teach him something.

I just need some coverage for about 30-40 minutes after the bus lets him off. Some days I am on time. It is just those odd days that make the world and its population move at a snail's pace. I need the peace of mind that he is "covered" and in a good environment.

Look. I get what you're trying to accomplish. But there is NOTHING wrong with kiddo spending 30 - 40 minutes doing NOTHING but decompressing after school. Even if that means that he parks it in front of Sponge Bob for 30 minutes at a daycare center.

A kid (especially one that young) doesn't NEED to be productive EVERY MOMENT. Kids actually learn in the quiet times between being 'taught' things.

Take a deep breath. Send your kid to daycare for that small amount of time. Help him with reading/math/equestrian sports/guitar/whatever when you CAN be there to share it with him.

 

[terp]

Thank you!

Happy New Year!

 

[nextwife]

If you can find such programs at comparable cost to day care ( I was able to do so through my HS district Rec Department programs) perhaps dad will have no problem with it. Or if you are willing to "make up the difference" for those programs that are YOUR priorities.

I signed my child up for after school art, after school chess, Brownies, "Science Discovery" and other cool little kid programs at modest cost. But costly extra curriculars are NOT Day Care. But I also gave her E.O.D to have down time after school.

 

[CJane]

I signed my child up for after school art, after school chess, Brownies, "Science Discovery" and other cool little kid programs at modest cost. But costly extra curriculars are NOT Day Care. But I also gave her E.O.D to have down time after school.

Exactly...

My 11 year old has BBall on (usually) Tuesdays and Saturdays.
My 7 year old has Brownies e/o Monday or so.

They both have church group on Wednesdays.

The 11 year old is in the school band and has to practice nightly.

We AREN'T doing 4-H or riding lessons or guitar lessons or dance or gymnastics or yoga this year because I refuse to have them 'engaged' in structured activities every available moment.

The evenings that I have them and there isn't an extracurricular, we cook dinner together and play games or hang out and do our nails or whatever. Blissful unstructured time TOGETHER... it's vital.