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Child's dad went AWOL from USAF...

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motherofcms

Junior Member
For starters, I was married, divorced, and currently live in Texas. My ex-husband and I separated for 6 weeks (after he had an affair) while our divorce was being finalized. I received the notice that the paper work had been completed and our divorce was finalized on May 1st, and found out I was about nine weeks pregnant on May 2nd. When I was 19 weeks pregnant I found out that he had gone AWOL (absent w/o leave) from the US Air Force. We have spoken maybe 3 times total since he left (which has been over a year), and each time he has made no attempt to initiate the contact, ask about the child, and even stated that he had no intentions of coming back. My child is now 10 months old, and I fear 2 things: 1-despite the risk of being arrested and sent to jail if he steps onto US soil, I am afraid he would try to take my child and be his "legal" guardian; and 2-when I get remarried, my husband will not be able to adopt my son. According to Texas Family Code, Section 161.001, sub. H, do I have a case of abandonment? If so, does my ex have to be notified? What sort of weight does he have?
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Legally he is daddy. legally you could find yourself facing problems due to the fact tha tyou divorced while pregnant. You would still have to serve him if you ever want someone else to adopt your child. Legally your ex husband is the child's legal guardian unless you have gone back to court to establish otherwise. You should have a talk with an attorney. Does your ex know that he is daddy? As in proof that you were not with anyone else? On what grounds did you get a divorce?
 

motherofcms

Junior Member
Legally he is daddy. legally you could find yourself facing problems due to the fact tha tyou divorced while pregnant. You would still have to serve him if you ever want someone else to adopt your child. Legally your ex husband is the child's legal guardian unless you have gone back to court to establish otherwise. You should have a talk with an attorney. Does your ex know that he is daddy? As in proof that you were not with anyone else? On what grounds did you get a divorce?
I appreciate your response-I made an appointment with a lawyer this morning.

I understand that we divorced while I was pregnant, but how is that either party's fault if the pregnancy is unknown? Suspicion of pregnancy arose the fourth week we were separated, but an at-home test said negative, and my cycle came that very same day. I would hope the court would see that there was no way for us to know we were pregnant. I have doctor records showing the date of my first visit, if that helps.

Yes, legally he is the daddy. And he is fully aware of this child and that it is his. As far as proof, the only thing I have is that no, I was not with anyone else during the time I got pregnant. I'm not sure what kind of proof would be sufficient, but I'd like to know in case I have it and don't even know it. Even if I was with someone else, I think the state of Texas still considers the ex the father if the child is born within 300 days of the divorce; that is, unless otherwise stated. And since he's been out of the country for over a year, I have had no opportunity to establish paternity via blood test.

The divorce decree states irreconcilable differences as the reson for divorce. It was really the affair, but I know that doesn't matter since it's not on the legal document. After everything he's done/not done (left, provided no support of any kind, stated no intent of coming back, no communication), do we have grounds for abandonment? And what length of time should said "abandonment" must pass before rights are relenquished?

I would also like to make the point that IF he were to return to the states, he would be arrested and charged with going AWOL, an offense that, in war time, is punishable by death. However unlikely a death sentence would be, I would still imagine that to carry some kind of weight in a hearing such as mine.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I appreciate your response-I made an appointment with a lawyer this morning.

I understand that we divorced while I was pregnant, but how is that either party's fault if the pregnancy is unknown? Suspicion of pregnancy arose the fourth week we were separated, but an at-home test said negative, and my cycle came that very same day. I would hope the court would see that there was no way for us to know we were pregnant. I have doctor records showing the date of my first visit, if that helps.

Yes, legally he is the daddy. And he is fully aware of this child and that it is his. As far as proof, the only thing I have is that no, I was not with anyone else during the time I got pregnant. I'm not sure what kind of proof would be sufficient, but I'd like to know in case I have it and don't even know it. Even if I was with someone else, I think the state of Texas still considers the ex the father if the child is born within 300 days of the divorce; that is, unless otherwise stated. And since he's been out of the country for over a year, I have had no opportunity to establish paternity via blood test.

The divorce decree states irreconcilable differences as the reson for divorce. It was really the affair, but I know that doesn't matter since it's not on the legal document. After everything he's done/not done (left, provided no support of any kind, stated no intent of coming back, no communication), do we have grounds for abandonment? And what length of time should said "abandonment" must pass before rights are relenquished?

I would also like to make the point that IF he were to return to the states, he would be arrested and charged with going AWOL, an offense that, in war time, is punishable by death. However unlikely a death sentence would be, I would still imagine that to carry some kind of weight in a hearing such as mine.

You need to talk to an attorney because quite frankly you did reconcile with him at least once after the divorce was filed and before the hearing. Did you let the court know that? His rights will NOT be relinguished permanently unless you move to have them terminated AND you have a stepdad that wants to adopt.
 

motherofcms

Junior Member
You need to talk to an attorney because quite frankly you did reconcile with him at least once after the divorce was filed and before the hearing. Did you let the court know that? His rights will NOT be relinguished permanently unless you move to have them terminated AND you have a stepdad that wants to adopt.
That's the thing, the last time we were intimate was the night before he cheated on me. We had NO sexual contact of any kind after that. I was (about) 9 weeks pregnant when I found out, which was 8 weeks after we filed for divorce. In short, the timeline shows that I became pregnant before we filed. Not to mention it's a little impossible to conceive when no sexual contact is being had. Do I need doctor visits to prove that? Testimony from family/friends/co-workers/etc?

There was no hearing. I signed a waiver of citation, my ex was the petitioner. It took all of 60 days, during which I moved into my own apartment, then to another city 2 hours away. Before I knew it we were divorced.

But you did answer my question. What can I do that would suffice if I do not have a stepdad that wants to adopt yet?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
That's the thing, the last time we were intimate was the night before he cheated on me. We had NO sexual contact of any kind after that. I was (about) 9 weeks pregnant when I found out, which was 8 weeks after we filed for divorce. In short, the timeline shows that I became pregnant before we filed. Not to mention it's a little impossible to conceive when no sexual contact is being had. Do I need doctor visits to prove that? Testimony from family/friends/co-workers/etc?

There was no hearing. I signed a waiver of citation, my ex was the petitioner. It took all of 60 days, during which I moved into my own apartment, then to another city 2 hours away. Before I knew it we were divorced.

But you did answer my question. What can I do that would suffice if I do not have a stepdad that wants to adopt yet?
Nothing. At any point he can come back and sue for custody/visitation. You can also pursue support.
 

motherofcms

Junior Member
Thank you for your quick responses. This has helped me a great deal-hopefully this process will be over as quickly and painlessly as possible, and for the best interest of my child.

I am assuming that paternity would have to be established if I were to persue support. How can that be done without a blood test? FYI: his name is NOT on the BC.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Thank you for your quick responses. This has helped me a great deal-hopefully this process will be over as quickly and painlessly as possible, and for the best interest of my child.

I am assuming that paternity would have to be established if I were to persue support. How can that be done without a blood test? FYI: his name is NOT on the BC.
Legally he is the daddy because the child was conceived during the marriage. The court can find him to be the father. Petition the court for support. You would have to serve dad. But truthfully TALK to an attorney in your area.
 

motherofcms

Junior Member
Understood. I have an appointment for Monday to talk with an attorney. I will keep you updated with what information he has to give me. Thanks again!
 

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