Clergy Sexual Misconduct

[realgal]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Texas
6 months ago I had brain surgery. While I was in the hospital, my Pastor came to "visit" me. I was very out of it. I awoke to find he had his hands under my gown on my breasts. Of course I was both embarrassed and horrified. I quickly pushed him away and lay there in shock, waiting for him to leave. It took me months to tell my husband. I'm still not over it. My husband finally urged me to tell my church. Also, I have not attended services since that time.

I called their main office and they advised me to notify the Bishop and District Superintendent. I did this by email explaining everything to them both. I did not want to notify local authorities at this point because I was hoping (apparently beyond hope) that my church would do the right thing. Well, neither of them ever got back with me. I even resent the emails just to make sure.

So, for a while I tried to forget about what happened. Well, about a week ago, I got a call from the district attorney's office of my county asking me to come in because my church has filed a criminal complaint against me. Apparently, they are now saying that I wrote checks to myself and misappropriated funds. My history with the church is that I was treasurer for a little over 2 years. When I left the church, as treasurer, I was commended for my service and good work for the church. I did have some checks written to myself for things I had paid for, which I have receipts for. I honestly believe at this point they are trying to intimidate and scare me into not saying anything to the authorities about what happened with the Pastor.

I know this is a long story, and I really apologize. It may seem that this post is in the wrong area, but I am asking questions about the criminal justice system, not knowing where else to post. What is a criminal complaint? I have never had so much as a traffic ticket, so I know nothing about criminal law. Should I take a lawyer with me to this meeting? It's not actually with the DA, but an investigator in his office. Is there anything I should or shouldn't say in this meeting? The investigator did ask me to bring receipts with me. I am so upset and confused by all of this, and to make matters worse, my operation was not the success my Drs. had hoped and I am still not well. I take more than 16 pills a day and am still not sleeping well.
Any advice you can give me will be greatly appreciated!!
Thank you for your time

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I will go into more debth but please answer some questions.
What denomenation?
Have you told anyone besides your husband?
Do you have copies of the emails to the district office?
What kind of medications were you on when this happened?
How long after surgery?

 

[realgal]

questions answered

Texas-denomination is Methodist, I only told my husband and the Bishop and District Superintendent in emails. I didn't want to go too far with it, because I have 3 teenage boys that would have been very embarrassed if it got out. I have Parkinson's disease. That was the reason I had the brain surgery. I was on 4 different meds. for the PD, also morphine and benedryl for swelling.

 

[realgal]

oops

Texas-also I do have copies of the emails, and it was 2 days after the operation.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Don't get me wrong, but you will be asked this question, over and over again, Are you positive that this really happened this way, because it is not unusual for people with brain surgery to have Hallucinations? Is it possible that he was laying on hands?

 

[realgal]

thank you for your reply.
I would have thought the same thing if he hadn't been accused of sexual wrong doing at 2 other churches. Somehow he has always managed to get out of things by explaining them away. At first, our congregation was angry because they appointed him to our church without telling anyone about his previous problems. But, the DS assured us all that these occurrences were investigated and he was cleared. I think he's just very crafty.
I have thought about this over and over in my mind. I think he knew he could get away with doing this to me, in my time of vulnerability, because of that very idea, that he could saying he was just praying for me.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Revised SEXUAL ETHICS POLICY FOR CHURCH PROFESSIONALS (Southwest Tx)
http://www.umcswtx.org/sexualethicspolicy.htm
This has a specific complaint process
MAKING A COMPLAINT

Persons who believe that they have suffered sexual abuse from any church professional shall report the circumstances of such situation to any District Superintendent or the Bishop. Persons who have knowledge of possible violations of this policy by a church professional related to the Southwest Texas Annual Conference should report the same to any District Superintendent or the Bishop. Church professionals who have knowledge of a possible violation of this policy must report it to a District Superintendent or the Bishop. A compliant is not officially recognized until a person fills out a formal document with a District Superintendent or the Bishop. This document will be updated to indicate the status of the situation until its resolution. Upon any complaint, the Conference will take action in accordance with the provisions of the current Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church paragraph 359 and paragraphs 2701-2719.

If you are in a different district we will have to find their policy, but it should be close to this.

Other points.
Have the DA investigator come to you. Have an attorney present, in addition to the receipts, also have the copies of the Emails you sent to prove when you filed the complaint and make a complaint with the DA office in addition to the Church. If you get no response, take it up a level.

Also call the local court and inquire re ADA accommodations.

Contact an attorney specializing in sexual harassment.

 

[realgal]

Thank you

I appreciate the information. It has been very helpful. I will be calling the investigator to see if he will come here. I will also be contacting an attorney immediately. You're a lifesaver, maybe I can sleep tonight.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

My experience with this kind of complaint has been with the Presbyterian church, so slightly different structure but most churches developed sexual misconduct policies for church workers in the 90's. Remember, even though, you are the victim, things will never be the same because they don't want to believe that these things happen in churches. Read the Scarlet Letter. Hopefully you can find an attorney who handles sexual harassment cases, you can sue for clergy malpractice and malicious prosecution.

 

[itsacatsworld]

Sure is funny shes being molested at the same time shes being charged with stealing money. Why would she be writing church checks for items she stated she paid for? Just doesnt add up. Yes she paid for those items with church money not hers. Its common for theft to be uncovered only after an audit is done hence the good reports she recieved b4 she left.

 

[ENASNI]

oy

Sure is funny shes being molested at the same time shes being charged with stealing money. Why would she be writing church checks for items she stated she paid for? Just doesnt add up. Yes she paid for those items with church money not hers. Its common for theft to be uncovered only after an audit is done hence the good reports she recieved b4 she left.

SHoo cat troll. shoo... the Doc had it under control.

 

[Veronica1228]

SHoo cat troll. shoo... the Doc had it under control.

I agree. Besides, the OP states she has receipts. She doesn't need to defend herself against an interloper on this board. Carry on Doc!!!

 

[realgal]

Hmmmm....

I thought this website was called "Free Advice" not "Free Judgment". But, thanks for your helpful comments.

I am a member of a small church. There were times that we had vendors that needed to be paid and we did not have the money available in the treasury, so I would pay it out of my own pocket, to be reimbursed at the end of the month. I am fortunate enough to have saved the receipts. I am handling the inappropriate actions through the church. I was requesting advice about a criminal complaint. Thanks again for your upbeat comments!

 

[Veronica1228]

I thought this website was called "Free Advice" not "Free Judgment". But, thanks for your helpful comments.

I am a member of a small church. There were times that we had vendors that needed to be paid and we did not have the money available in the treasury, so I would pay it out of my own pocket, to be reimbursed at the end of the month. I am fortunate enough to have saved the receipts. I am handling the inappropriate actions through the church. I was requesting advice about a criminal complaint. Thanks again for your upbeat comments!

That was meant for itsacatsworld right? Because Enasni and I are on your side! (Doc is rmet's nickname).

 

[panzertanker]

I thought this website was called "Free Advice" not "Free Judgment". But, thanks for your helpful comments.

I am a member of a small church. There were times that we had vendors that needed to be paid and we did not have the money available in the treasury, so I would pay it out of my own pocket, to be reimbursed at the end of the month. I am fortunate enough to have saved the receipts. I am handling the inappropriate actions through the church. I was requesting advice about a criminal complaint. Thanks again for your upbeat comments!

Keep on going the route you are, and the truth will be told eventually.... If you have done nothing wrong, then you have nothing to worry about. Ignore itsacatsworld....obviously the only mammal she can get to keep her company is a cat!