cmy1129's closed post

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? TENNESSEE
I have been in contact with Ms. Bell in Knoxville and I will be forwarding the e-mails to Mary.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

LOL, A bunch of us have been in contact with Mrs. Bell, not as in debth as you I'm sure. Hopefully she will get rid of this client.

Did you copy the post?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

LOL, A bunch of us have been in contact with Mrs. Bell, not as in debth as you I'm sure. Hopefully she will get rid of this client.

Did you copy the post?

what do you think?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

what do you think?


Just making sure fluffy wasn't distracting you.

 

[cmy1129]

What is the name of your state? TENNESSEE
I have been in contact with Ms. Bell in Knoxville and I will be forwarding the e-mails to Mary.

And who is Mary? I am glad you contacted her. I am not blowing smoke this is what she told her and myself in her office a year after she came to live with us. Because my step-daughter wanted a clause put in paper so in case something like this did happen she wouldn't have to fight about it. And her mother told her she was making those decisions and that it wasn't up to her. And my step-daughter asked what if she had a job or a boyfriend and didn't want to go and her mother told her that was her (her mother's) decision. And Ms Bell informed us that when she got to a certain age we couldn't force her to go!!! Belize she wants to go she just want her mother to be a little more understanding and she knows that she will not get that from her, thats not me saying this that is her.

 

[averad]

Ms Bell informed us that when she got to a certain age we couldn't force her to go!!!

But you didnt ask what age that was.

 

[cmy1129]

But you didnt ask what age that was.

Actually we did ask and she told us after the age of 14.

 

[Mbarr77]

And who is Mary? I am glad you contacted her. I am not blowing smoke this is what she told her and myself in her office a year after she came to live with us. Because my step-daughter wanted a clause put in paper so in case something like this did happen she wouldn't have to fight about it. And her mother told her she was making those decisions and that it wasn't up to her. And my step-daughter asked what if she had a job or a boyfriend and didn't want to go and her mother told her that was her (her mother's) decision. And Ms Bell informed us that when she got to a certain age we couldn't force her to go!!! Belize she wants to go she just want her mother to be a little more understanding and she knows that she will not get that from her, thats not me saying this that is her.

But, it is not up to her! It is up to the parents...the mother has every right to see her child for her whole alloted time...If the child thinks that makes the mom selfish, than maybe she needs to learn she is not always going to get what she wants! Have you offered to allow the child to fly back for the weekend, and then fly right back to moms at your expense as was suggested?

 

[Mbarr77]

Actually we did ask and she told us after the age of 14.

Then either you were given completely incorrect information, of the lawyer told you correctly and you chose to hear something else!

 

[averad]

Actually we did ask and she told us after the age of 14.

Have you called your representation today and verfied this? I bet Ms. Bell has reviewed your case and has aditional information.

 

[cmy1129]

But, it is not up to her! It is up to the parents...the mother has every right to see her child for her whole alloted time...If the child thinks that makes the mom selfish, than maybe she needs to learn she is not always going to get what she wants! Have you offered to allow the child to fly back for the weekend, and then fly right back to moms at your expense as was suggested?

When even offered the time because she is suppose to come home a week before school starts and we offered all the way up until she starts school even a little extra time at christmas and she will not even budge for her. We have tried everything to make her happy and make her mother happy and that just dont seem to be in the picture. We are not that bad of people but she has a voice and she is allowed to speak. Its not about what her dad want or what her mother wants or what I want.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

And who is Mary? I am glad you contacted her. I am not blowing smoke this is what she told her and myself in her office a year after she came to live with us. Because my step-daughter wanted a clause put in paper so in case something like this did happen she wouldn't have to fight about it. And her mother told her she was making those decisions and that it wasn't up to her. And my step-daughter asked what if she had a job or a boyfriend and didn't want to go and her mother told her that was her (her mother's) decision. And Ms Bell informed us that when she got to a certain age we couldn't force her to go!!! Belize she wants to go she just want her mother to be a little more understanding and she knows that she will not get that from her, thats not me saying this that is her.

I not only wrote to Ms. Bell, but I talked to her on the phone. She not only does not remember such an encounter, she advised me that she would never counsel a client to purposefully commit contempt and never advise a client that a child is allowed to dictate to the court whether or not they would follow a valid court order.

You are either hearing (or remembering) what you WANT to or you did not listen at all to her advice.

While it is true that in Tennessee the courts give weight to the wishes of a child in matters of visitation and custody, such is accomplished by means of a court hearing whereby the child (or Parent) motions to modify the existing order.

In the current situation there is not time to do such a motion as they take, in Tennessee, from 60 to 90 days to be on the docket (unless the situation calls for emergency hearings which this situation does not). In that time, if the daughter does NOT go on visitation before the motion can be heard, dad will be in contempt and it will be a simple matter to have the motion dismissed.

 

[Mbarr77]

When even offered the time because she is suppose to come home a week before school starts and we offered all the way up until she starts school even a little extra time at christmas and she will not even budge for her. We have tried everything to make her happy and make her mother happy and that just dont seem to be in the picture. We are not that bad of people but she has a voice and she is allowed to speak. Its not about what her dad want or what her mother wants or what I want.

No one is saying she cannot speak, or have her own opinions..She is even entitled to those opinions! But, she cannot just decide when she does and does not want to see mom..and by her father backing her up on this it is giving her an untrue perception! If she decides not to go then mom does have grounds to file contempt charges against dad..And it is not daughter who is going to get in trouble, it is her dad! When she is 18 then she is more than within the law to tell mom she does not want to see her, but until then father has to be willing to go by the court order, or face the consequences.

 

[LdiJ]

And who is Mary? I am glad you contacted her. I am not blowing smoke this is what she told her and myself in her office a year after she came to live with us. Because my step-daughter wanted a clause put in paper so in case something like this did happen she wouldn't have to fight about it. And her mother told her she was making those decisions and that it wasn't up to her. And my step-daughter asked what if she had a job or a boyfriend and didn't want to go and her mother told her that was her (her mother's) decision. And Ms Bell informed us that when she got to a certain age we couldn't force her to go!!! Belize she wants to go she just want her mother to be a little more understanding and she knows that she will not get that from her, thats not me saying this that is her.

Oh ARG!....so you are basing your decision on a theoretical discussion that took place a couple of years ago?

Look...there are some judges who will give older teens some say regarding visitation. I can't deny that because I have sat in a courtroom in my state and heard a judge discuss that issue....and observed other cases.

However, at the same time I am directly familiar with a case where a 16 year old had the opportunity to take a summer college course that would not only give college credit, but lead to a significant scholarship. That case caused the 16 year old to miss two weeks of summer visitation with the other parent. The CP in that case got fined FIVE THOUSAND dollars for denying part of the other parent's summer visitation.

In your case its a birthday party and there are different ways that you could compromise to ensure that the child gets to attend.

Look, as I said before I think its important that parents compromise with teens regarding visitation. I think its recipe disaster if they don't....because when the child turns 18 its their choice, and a parent shouldn't want the child to see age 18 as "freedom from mom or dad" day.

However.....the reality of things is that your husband could get his tush seriously kicked in court for this. So, AGAIN, its time to find a creative solution to the problem. Expecting mom to give up two weeks of summer visitation for a birthday party is NOT reasonable.

FIND ANOTHER WAY

 

[Just Blue]

And who is Mary? I am glad you contacted her. I am not blowing smoke this is what she told her and myself in her office a year after she came to live with us. Because my step-daughter wanted a clause put in paper so in case something like this did happen she wouldn't have to fight about it. And her mother told her she was making those decisions and that it wasn't up to her. And my step-daughter asked what if she had a job or a boyfriend and didn't want to go and her mother told her that was her (her mother's) decision. And Ms Bell informed us that when she got to a certain age we couldn't force her to go!!! Belize she wants to go she just want her mother to be a little more understanding and she knows that she will not get that from her, thats not me saying this that is her.

I also spoke to Ms. Bell and she told me the same thing she told BB....go figure!
Mary is the Admin of ths board...you know...the person that Ms. Bell will be talking to when she wants to know WHO the heck is attributing these IILEGAL things to her...

cmy...You may want to find a new attorney or two...one for custody and one for the possible civil action that Ms. Bell brings against you!!

Have a good day!