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co dependent family behavior
- Thread starter klm1234
- Start date
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Just Blue
Senior Member
Huh?
Please clarify:
"Co-dependent" in what way?
Remove "individuals" from who's home?
Are these "individuals" tenants? Home owners?
Who are you in this situation and what ownership do you have this property in question?
What do you mean by "discouraging such behavior in the future"?
AlmostThere
Member
As long as they home owner is not using illegal means to remove people from a home, the law will not care.
If you are of age and legally independent, it sounds like it is time to start looking for a new place to live.
If you are of age and legally independent, it sounds like it is time to start looking for a new place to live.
This post makes zero sense without context.
Since you referred to "myself to sell the home," I assume you're talking about a home that you own. Correct? Are you the sole owner, or does someone else own it?
If you are the sole owner, then you can sell it for any reason, and you don't need to justify the sale to anyone else.
Who are the individuals that live in the home that you want to remove? How did they come to live in your home? Do you live there also? Do these people have a signed, written lease?
What is the behavior that you are subjectively characterizing as co-dependent?
I am not living in the same home as my daughters and wife. I do live in a separate state from them for the last five years. And based on past behaviors, I have reasonable certainty that co-dependent behaviors do exist. My wife and I are joint deed owners of the home she lives in. I am looking to sell the home because I want to stop paying for expenses (including mortgage) in a state I do not live in anymore. I am willing to bring my wife and daughters to where I live so we can work on family matters.
So...
In State X (maybe Texas), you jointly own a home with your wife. You live in State Y. Your wife and daughter live in the jointly owned home. All correct?
You have no ability to remove your wife from her home. Nor do you have any ability to sell the home without her cooperation. Nor do you have any ability to remove your daughter unless she is an adult and your wife also wants her out.
If your wife won't cooperate, your only recourse will be to seek a divorce, but be aware that the fact that this situation has been ongoing for five years may pose some difficulties.
In State X (maybe Texas), you jointly own a home with your wife. You live in State Y. Your wife and daughter live in the jointly owned home. All correct?
You have no ability to remove your wife from her home. Nor do you have any ability to sell the home without her cooperation. Nor do you have any ability to remove your daughter unless she is an adult and your wife also wants her out.
If your wife won't cooperate, your only recourse will be to seek a divorce, but be aware that the fact that this situation has been ongoing for five years may pose some difficulties.
I read on a partition action (through a court order) as a means to sell a joint deeded house, more because I want to stop paying expenses in the state my wife lives in currently. I was hoping divorce as a means to sell a house was the last measure to accomplish the task. But I am assuming that based on your reply that a partition and divorce would be a related event?
The house is in Texas.
AlmostThere
Member
1) You cannot force your wife to move to where you live.
2) You cannot force your wife to work on the marriage even if you move back.
3) You can file for divorce, and if your daughters are minors, seek custody. Since you left them 5 years ago, it would be an uphill battle at best.
4) You have the option to stop paying the mortgage and let foreclosure force your wife and children out. If the mortgage is in your name, your credit will be badly damaged.
5) I am struck by the fact that your concern is the relationship with your wife, and not your children.
I doubt that forcing your wife to do anything will further damage the relationship. Without knowing any significant details, your best chance of saving your marriage may be for you to move back to the area where your wife lives and seek help for your marriage. It will also give you a chance to spend quality time with your children.
You might want to meet with a divorce attorney to discuss divorce, alimony, and child support. And a therapist to help you be okay with the situation.
2) You cannot force your wife to work on the marriage even if you move back.
3) You can file for divorce, and if your daughters are minors, seek custody. Since you left them 5 years ago, it would be an uphill battle at best.
4) You have the option to stop paying the mortgage and let foreclosure force your wife and children out. If the mortgage is in your name, your credit will be badly damaged.
5) I am struck by the fact that your concern is the relationship with your wife, and not your children.
I doubt that forcing your wife to do anything will further damage the relationship. Without knowing any significant details, your best chance of saving your marriage may be for you to move back to the area where your wife lives and seek help for your marriage. It will also give you a chance to spend quality time with your children.
You might want to meet with a divorce attorney to discuss divorce, alimony, and child support. And a therapist to help you be okay with the situation.
I have no intention moving back to where I came from, hence the reason for wanting to sell property where I used to live. Also, from my viewpoint saying I cannot force is another way of enabling my wife and adult children to continue living in a co-dependent situation, which I am currently funding financially, but am seeking advice on how to remove myself from that situation. I have mentioned many, many times to my wife and adult kids they are welcome to come where I live and I currently have housing available for long term stay for the entire family.
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quincy
Senior Member
In Texas, you can file a petition with the court to request a partition of your property if your spouse will not otherwise agree to sell your co-owned house.
https://texas.public.law/statutes/tex._fam._code_section_4.102
https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/?tab=1&code=FA&chapter=FA.4&artSec=4.102
You might want to consider mediation first, however, to see if you can come to a mutual agreement about the house, perhaps negotiate a buyout so your wife and daughters can stay in the house. When co-owners agree to sell, they stand to make more money on their house than if the house goes to auction.
https://texas.public.law/statutes/tex._fam._code_section_4.102
https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/?tab=1&code=FA&chapter=FA.4&artSec=4.102
You might want to consider mediation first, however, to see if you can come to a mutual agreement about the house, perhaps negotiate a buyout so your wife and daughters can stay in the house. When co-owners agree to sell, they stand to make more money on their house than if the house goes to auction.
Would a partition fall under this category if I sold the house to a third party who could then rent the house to my wife and adult daughters? If they wanted to stay in the house for another year or so, for example?
quincy
Senior Member
You should discuss the potential sale of the house with your wife or with a lawyer in Texas (or both).