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Collecting evidence of infidelity

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kayak

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?I'm in Oklahoma and have started collecting evidence of my spouse's infidelity - emails mostly.

We have resided in this state for less than a year -- previously lived in California.

Once I have collected enough evidence, I am planning on taking our two daughters back to California with me and then file for a divorce.

Should I file before leaving and are there legal ramifications for taking my daughters out of state without my spouse's consent or knowledge?

Back in California I can re-establish residence in our old house -- it's owned by my family, and have a large familial support group to draw upon for fiduciary / child care support.

One last thing. I am a stay-at-home Dad, and my wife works full time. Will this be an issue in OK courts down the road when seeking custody, etc.? Do OK courts favor the mother when it comes to custody, even if the Mother works full time and the Father is the primary caregiver?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
kayak said:
What is the name of your state?I'm in Oklahoma and have started collecting evidence of my spouse's infidelity - emails mostly.

We have resided in this state for less than a year -- previously lived in California.

Once I have collected enough evidence, I am planning on taking our two daughters back to California with me and then file for a divorce.

Should I file before leaving and are there legal ramifications for taking my daughters out of state without my spouse's consent or knowledge?

Back in California I can re-establish residence in our old house -- it's owned by my family, and have a large familial support group to draw upon for fiduciary / child care support.

One last thing. I am a stay-at-home Dad, and my wife works full time. Will this be an issue in OK courts down the road when seeking custody, etc.? Do OK courts favor the mother when it comes to custody, even if the Mother works full time and the Father is the primary caregiver?
The fact that your wife has been unfaithful really isn't going to give you any edge in the divorce.

You can take your daughters out of state without your wife's consent or knowledge, but she can run straight to court and file a petition to ask the judge to require you to return them to Oklahoma.....and the judge would likely comply.

As the primary caregiver to the children, you would have an edge on primary custody......however your plans to move back to CA could cause you to lose some of that edge.

It would be wisest to file for divorce before leaving OK...and to get the permission of the courts before attempting to move your children back to CA.
 

kayak

Junior Member
Thanks for the reply. I guess I knew what the answers would be but it's good to have verification before proceeding.

My research has led me to discover that Oklahoma is a no-fault divorce state, so you are correct in stating that the infidelity will be of no consequence in the settlement/custody proceedings.

Having my wife get a court order to force me to return the girls to Oklahoma would be nasty and an unnecessary expense. I'll just have to confront her with my evidence, file for divorce, then go before the judge and present my case that since the girls have spent the majority of their lives in California, and have only been in Oklahoma for 8 months, that the move back wouldn't be traumatic.

Thanks for help!
Stay-at-home-Dad in Oklahoma
 

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