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Contempt letter?

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J&A

Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? CA

I am sending a certified letter to my ex for denying visitation. Is the format of this letter appropriate? Am I forgetting anything?!

Dear Ex's name,

I would like to be given the first opportunity to care for child and child in the event that they are sick and cannot attend school when you are not able to care for them. Per our current court order, I am to be given first opportunity to watch them. When our children are sick, it is not a valid reason to deny my visitation rights per our court order. Caring for a sick child creates bonding time between a child and their parent. Children were not at daycare for me to pick up today which is a violation of our court order and furthermore they are at your parents house being cared for while you are at work, which is also a violation of the first right of refusal in our court order.

You are in violation of a court order. I would like to settle this between you and I, however, in the event that this continues to happen I will be forced to bring it before a judge to file contempt charges against you.

Thank you for your attention to this matter,

Sincerely,
 


B

betterthanher

Guest
The letter looks fine and is to the point. My suggestions are noted within.

J&A said:
Dear Ex's name,

I would like to be given the first opportunity to care for child and child in the event that they are sick and cannot attend school when you are not able to care for them. Per our current court order, I am to be given first opportunity to watch them. When our children are sick, it is not a valid reason to deny my visitation rights per our court order. Caring for a sick child creates bonding time between a child and their parent. Children were not at daycare for me to pick up today which is a violation of our court order and furthermore they are at your parents house being cared for while you are at work, which is also a violation of the first right of refusal in our court order.
SUGGESTION #1: Take out this first sentence that is bolded. At first it sounds like you are requesting, when in fact what you are addressing is in your court order. I'd replace that sentence with something that gets right to the point. "On (day/date), you were in contempt of our court order as it relates to First Right Of Refusal". If your order is numbered, reference that number in this sentence as well.

SUGGESTION #2: Reword the second bolded reference & move it so it follows your first sentence of this letter. "Children were not at daycare today (day/date) and were at your parents' house instead. In addition, you have been dropping off the children at your parents' house while you are at work (insert dates here)." Then you can continue here referencing language in your court order.

Also, did she ever call you to give you notice of FROR. If not, include this as well, so she can't claim "well, I called blah blah blah". There's nothing wrong with making sure all of your bases are covered.

You are in violation of a court order. I would like to settle this between you and I, however, in the event that this continues to happen I will be forced to bring it before a judge to file contempt charges against you.

Thank you for your attention to this matter,

Sincerely,
I would eliminate the "I would like to settle this..." language. There is nothing to settle -- it's in your order. Simply start the next sentence with "If this happens again...". Technically, your ex is also interferring with your parental time, so include that language as well here. Be stern and detailed (but not too wordy...you want to keep it to the point).
 
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I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
betterthanher said:
The letter looks fine and is to the point. My suggestions are noted within.



SUGGESTION #1: Take out this first sentence that is bolded. At first it sounds like you are requesting, when in fact what you are addressing is in your court order. I'd replace that sentence with something that gets right to the point. "On (day/date), you were in contempt of our court order as it relates to First Right Of Refusal". If your order is numbered, reference that number in this sentence as well.

SUGGESTION #2: Reword the second bolded reference & move it so it follows your first sentence of this letter. "Children were not at daycare today (day/date) and were at your parents' house instead. In addition, you have been dropping off the children at your parents' house while you are at work (insert dates here)." Then you can continue here referencing language in your court order.

Also, did she ever call you to give you notice of FROR. If not, include this as well, so she can't claim "well, I called blah blah blah". There's nothing wrong with making sure all of your bases are covered.



I would eliminate the "I would like to settle this..." language. There is nothing to settle -- it's in your order. Simply start the next sentence with "If this happens again...". Technically, your ex is also interferring with your parental time, so include that language as well here. Be stern and detailed (but not too wordy...you want to keep it to the point).

My response:

That was an excellent, well-reasoned, response. I couldn't have stated it better. My compliments.

IAAL
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
I AM ALWAYS LIABLE said:
My response:

That was an excellent, well-reasoned, response. I couldn't have stated it better. My compliments.

IAAL
Wow...I dunno what else to say except 'thank you!' I don't think I've ever read a post from you wasn't overflowing with sarcasm. Unless this post... ;)
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
betterthanher said:
Wow...I dunno what else to say except 'thank you!' I don't think I've ever read a post from you wasn't overflowing with sarcasm. Unless this post... ;)

My response:

No, there was nothing sarcastic about my compliment to you. As a Family Law specialist, I appreciate good work - - and yours was very, very good. Compliments when compliments are due.

What is your background? Are you studying law, or are you "logically blessed"?

IAAL
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
I AM ALWAYS LIABLE said:
My response:

No, there was nothing sarcastic about my compliment to you. As a Family Law specialist, I appreciate good work - - and yours was very, very good. Compliments when compliments are due.

What is your background? Are you studying law, or are you "logically blessed"?

IAAL
Not studying law. Yet. I have done extensive research (usually spent a couple of hours a day) and learn something new every day. I definitely don't have the the 'tude that I know it all (unlike some on here). Over the past year, I've seriously given some thought to it the more I read, research and learn. I simply don't have the finances to go back to school to devote to it.

But as far as writing, I do have alot of experience writing contracts, proposals and other similar documents (in addition to reviewing them), so I've learned over time what language to include and what not to to make a point, etc.

Thanks for the compliments.
 

casa

Senior Member
J&A said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? CA

I am sending a certified letter to my ex for denying visitation. Is the format of this letter appropriate? Am I forgetting anything?!
If the issue is solely FROR- then yes, everything is covered (good additional input from betterthanher.)

If the issue is also denial of court ordered visitation- then file a police report when you are denied that access- a copy of which will need to be filed in court if/when you pursue contempt.
 

J&A

Member
Thank you, that is great advice. I will definately use those suggestions. I will be keeping this letter and unfortunately using it many times I am sure :mad:
 

J&A

Member
If the issue is solely FROR- then yes, everything is covered (good additional input from betterthanher.)

If the issue is also denial of court ordered visitation- then file a police report when you are denied that access- a copy of which will need to be filed in court if/when you pursue contempt.

I didn't file a police report. Do I need a court signed copy of the court order before I can file a police report? I haven't gotten one back yet.

Is it too late to file a police report?
 

casa

Senior Member
J&A said:
I didn't file a police report. Do I need a court signed copy of the court order before I can file a police report? I haven't gotten one back yet.

Is it too late to file a police report?
If you attempt to exercise your court ordered visitation (e/o/w or whichever) and you are denied access to your children- then yes, have a copy of your court order and contact the police and state you wish to file a report. Then you can establish a paper trail documenting for the court how many times you have been denied visitation with your children.
 
casa said:
If you attempt to exercise your court ordered visitation (e/o/w or whichever) and you are denied access to your children- then yes, have a copy of your court order and contact the police and state you wish to file a report. Then you can establish a paper trail documenting for the court how many times you have been denied visitation with your children.
Will the police in CA do this Casa? Here in Eastern PA they won't. They say it's a civil matter and won't get involved at all.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
SingleMom67 said:
Will the police in CA do this Casa? Here in Eastern PA they won't. They say it's a civil matter and won't get involved at all.
My response:

In California? California is a pretty big State. Some counties might, and other counties, like Los Angeles, won't. The only time the L.A.P.D. get involved is if there's domestic violence or child endangerment. Other than that, they tell you to go to the Station and write your own report for filing.

Then, there's the matter of the "self-written" report. It's, according to the Evidence Code, inadmissible as evidence because it's "self-serving"; i.e., No one else witnessed the incident, and you're merely writing your "side" of the story.

So, in summary, Police Reports from large cities are useless unless the police are the ones writing the report based upon their eyewitness account.

IAAL
 

J&A

Member
Final copy! Thank you all for your help.

On August 29, 2005, you were in contempt of our court order as it relates to First Right of Refusal. "Daycare providers name" called you at approximately 12:30 PM to inform you that our son was ill. "Ex's Mothers name" picked "son" up from daycare and took him to the Doctor. Per our current court order, I am to be given first opportunity to watch our children in the event you cannot. In addition, you have been dropping off the children at your parents’ house while you are at work on August 1st –3rd without giving me first right of refusal. "son's name" did not attend daycare on August 30, 2005 and again "ex's mom" watched him while you are at work. This is a violation of our current court order.

On August 29th, 2005 you left a voice mail that I would not be seeing "son's name" on August 30th, 2005. On August 30th 2005, you were in contempt of court by denying visitation rights claiming that "son's name" is sick and cannot come over to my house for parenting time. He instead stayed at "ex's parents" house. You are not able to deny visitation under these circumstances. Both parents have equal rights to care for a sick child. When it is my court ordered time, it is my right to care for him and you are interfering with my parenting time.

In the event that you continue to violate our court order, I will be forced to press contempt charges against you.

Thank you for your attention to this matter,
 
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I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
J&A said:
On August 29, 2005, you were in contempt of our court order as it relates to First Right of Refusal. "Daycare providers name" called you at approximately 12:30 PM to inform you that our son was ill. "Ex's Mothers name" picked "son" up from daycare and took him to the Doctor. Per our current court order, I am to be given first opportunity to watch our children in the event you cannot. In addition, you have been dropping off the children at your parents’ house while you are at work on August 1st –3rd without giving me first right of refusal. "son's name" did not attend daycare on August 30, 2005 and again "ex's mom" watched him while you are at work. This is a violation of our current court order.

On August 29th, 2005 you left a voice mail that I would not be seeing "son's name" on August 30th, 2005. On August 30th 2005, you were in contempt of court by denying visitation rights claiming that "son's name" is sick and cannot come over to my house for parenting time. He instead stayed at "ex's parents" house. You are not able to deny visitation under these circumstances. Both parents have equal rights to care for a sick child. When it is my court ordered time, it is my right to care for him and you are interfering with my parenting time.

In the event that you continue to violate our court order, I will be forced to press contempt charges against you.

Thank you for your attention to this matter,

My response:

Change "press contempt charges" to "file an Order to Show Cause re: Contempt"

Nix the "Thank you" sentence.

Other than those changes, ship it!

IAAL
 

J&A

Member
Originally Posted by IAAL
My response:

Change "press contempt charges" to "file an Order to Show Cause re: Contempt"

Nix the "Thank you" sentence.

Other than those changes, ship it!

IAAL
Yes Sir! Your advice is much appreciated. :D
 

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