Contempt of Court?

[pennsylvania7]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

I have a current court order describing the visitation I get with my 3 minor children and also that I have phone contact with them twice a week. Phone contact is to be initiated by their mother (my ex-wife), I do not call them. I originally gave her attorney my home phone number, but due to my work schedule, my ex has since been asked to call my cell phone because it's hard to reach me at home.
She called my cell phone five times, but now refuses to call it. She says she's only responsible to call the house phone, if I'm not home that's my problem, I don't get to talk to my children.
The court order states nothing about a particular phone number, just that she is to initiate the phone call.
She only contacted me once last week. She called my home tonight and my wife answered the phone and told the kids to call my cell, but they never did. So she only has 1 day left (Fri) to attempt contact. So even if she does contact me tomorrow, that will only be once this week also.
My question is, does this sound like grounds for a contempt of court charge for willfully disobeying a court order?
She's already received a contempt charge once from the same judge, for willfully disobeying a previous court order dealing with visitation. She was told to pay $1000 fine or go to jail. She paid. I believe the judge told her that the next time she was charged with contempt, she was going straight to the women's prison. (And I believe I would get primary custody of my children in this case, as we have a continued custody hearing coming up in a few months anyhow.)
I feel I have a good case, because phone records are available and I think she'll admit to not calling my cell phone because I originally provided my home number (she's very self-righteous).
Just wanted other opinions on whether I should file charges.

 

[CJane]

Honestly? I wouldn't. Not for what amounts to 2 missed phone calls.

I'm sure there are those who disagree with me, but it seems petty. And the phone call to the house? That counts. Mom has to attempt to make contact. If you're not around to receive the contact, that's NOT her problem and she's not obligated to try multiple numbers or multiple times.

Why are you not supposed to contact her?

 

[ecmst12]

You can set up your home phone so it forwards to your cell phone after so many rings. My mom does that instead of having voice mail on her home phone.

 

[pennsylvania7]

The judge we are dealing with doesn't take these things lightly. If things were turned around, she would have filed on me last week after 1 missed phone call. If I don't do something now, she will continue to try my house phone hoping I won't be home so our children can't speak to me. This could go on for months, until our next hearing. If I bring it up then, the judge is going to ask me why I didn't do something sooner, didn't I care about talking to my children?

I'm not asking her to try multiple numbers or multiple times. She is out-right refusing to call my cell number, which has been provided to her, and which I can answer at all times. To me, a normal, rational person who cares about the relationship their children have with the other parent would try the house phone first, realize I'm not home, then try to cell. Or I don't know, just try the cell phone first. To me, she's coming off childish because it's not like calling two phone numbers, one time each, twice a week is really impositioning her. The kids and I only talk a few minutes each time anyhow, they're young.

I am not allowed to contact her because I agreed to give her a PFA if she would finally sign our divorce papers. PFA runs out in a few months, I've given no reason for her to get it extended.

 

[CJane]

So, why are you here? You already apparently know how the judge will rule and what will happen.

Honestly? You sound like you're being petty and so is she. Y'all can continue this crap for the next 16 years or so, or one of you can grow up and learn to let crap that doesn't matter GO.

I've been divorced for ... 6 years. Since my kiddos were 6 and 3. Know how many times my ex has called when the kids were with me? Or how many I've called when they're with him? Probably no more than 10 times in SIX YEARS.

You'll live. The kids will live.

But g'head. Do whatever. Enjoy the drama.

 

[mmmagique]

Why don't you just do as has been suggested and have the house phone roll over to your cell after so many rings?

 

[Isis1]

Why don't you just do as has been suggested and have the house phone roll over to your cell after so many rings?

and NOT have a contempt hearing??? what is WRONG WITH YOU!!! it's so much more fun to be petty!!

 

[pennsylvania7]

CJane -
I am here for advice and the opinions of others, and apparently to be scolded for being petty.

If people weren't petty, there would be very little need for family court. I don't think I'm being petty if I'm asking for her to uphold a court order concerning our children. I've learned to let a lot of 'crap' go with this woman. It's court ordered she provide me with all school, medical, etc. records and information, but she doesn't. I just go around her and find out what I need instead of dealing with her or court. But I can't go around her with this issue.

Do you only see your children 6 days a month and live two-hours away from them? If that's your situation, like it is mine, I would hope phone contact would mean more to you than it obviously does.

Parents and children can simply 'live' under many different circumstances. You'd 'live' never seeing or hearing from your children again, but you would find it unacceptable, especially if you had court ordered visitation and phone contact that your ex wasn't upholding.

To the others who commented about having the house phone forwarded to my cell, that would work if there was no one else in my house receiving calls. I don't want to answer every call that would be forwarded to my cell that's for my wife or two teenage sons when no one answers at home. And they need their messages to be on the home answering machine, not my cell phone, so they can access them.

 

[LdiJ]

CJane -
I am here for advice and the opinions of others, and apparently to be scolded for being petty.

If people weren't petty, there would be very little need for family court. I don't think I'm being petty if I'm asking for her to uphold a court order concerning our children. I've learned to let a lot of 'crap' go with this woman. It's court ordered she provide me with all school, medical, etc. records and information, but she doesn't. I just go around her and find out what I need instead of dealing with her or court. But I can't go around her with this issue.

Do you only see your children 6 days a month and live two-hours away from them? If that's your situation, like it is mine, I would hope phone contact would mean more to you than it obviously does.

Parents and children can simply 'live' under many different circumstances. You'd 'live' never seeing or hearing from your children again, but you would find it unacceptable, especially if you had court ordered visitation and phone contact that your ex wasn't upholding.

To the others who commented about having the house phone forwarded to my cell, that would work if there was no one else in my house receiving calls. I don't want to answer every call that would be forwarded to my cell that's for my wife or two teenage sons when no one answers at home. And they need their messages to be on the home answering machine, not my cell phone, so they can access them.

Is there a set time when you are supposed to be receiving the calls? If so, you should really make sure that you are at home to receive the calls. If you are not home to receive the calls, then its partially your fault.

If there is not a set time for you to receive the calls, and she has made attempts to call you, then you are going to have a hard time convincing a judge to hold her in contempt.

 

[pennsylvania7]

LdiJ - There is no set time when she is to call me, it is at her discretion and on her initiative. She has called anywhere from 5pm to 8:30pm before and the days she calls vary weekly. I have no way of knowing whether she even attempts to call me most days. She doesn't have the children leave a message, nor do I have caller ID at home. The only time I know she calls the house is obviously when I or someone else is there to answer the phone.

I guess the biggest thing that pisses me off about the situation is that she has been provided my cell phone number and refuses to call it. She knows I work a lot (partly to pay the child support she loves to receive) and she knows, without a doubt, that if she calls my cell, I will answer. To me, she is purposely calling the house because she knows that chances are, I won't be there.

 

[LdiJ]

LdiJ - There is no set time when she is to call me, it is at her discretion and on her initiative. She has called anywhere from 5pm to 8:30pm before and the days she calls vary weekly. I have no way of knowing whether she even attempts to call me most days. She doesn't have the children leave a message, nor do I have caller ID at home. The only time I know she calls the house is obviously when I or someone else is there to answer the phone.

I guess the biggest thing that pisses me off about the situation is that she has been provided my cell phone number and refuses to call it. She knows I work a lot (partly to pay the child support she loves to receive) and she knows, without a doubt, that if she calls my cell, I will answer. To me, she is purposely calling the house because she knows that chances are, I won't be there.

Well, then you really are going to have a hard time being able to convince a judge to hold her in contempt. Morally she may be playing games with you but legally, as long as she is trying to call the home phone, she isn't in contempt.

What you really need more than anything is to have the order modified so that she either has to call the house phone at given days and times, or that she has to call your cell. You also need permission to disregard the restraining/protective order enough to be able to call her back if you miss her call.