contested adoption

[mac75]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?undefinedWhat is the name of your state? Maryland

My nephew has lived with my family for the past two years. Initially I had temp custody through a protective order (due to abuse) and now I have full, legal and physical custody of him. The bio-parents are allowed to visit him. Bio-dad has seen him 5 times in the past two years and all of those visits but one occured because I contacted bio-dad. For the past two years bio-dad has supported us having custody of him and has also verbally supported us in adopting him. Bio-mom has legally consented to the adoption and now bio-dad is saying no. There is no parent child relationship or any kind of relationship for that matter between bio-dad and my nephew. Bio-dad hasn't provided physical or financial support and he hasn't exercised his visitation rights. My nephew is two years old and has developed emotional ties to my family. I don't think anyone could dispute the fact that in his eyes we are mom and dad. The petetion for adoption has been submitted to the court with moms consent.

Questions - Does anyone have any idea how this will go in court if bio-dad continues to contest the adoption? I've heard that it is difficult to have a petetion for adoption granted without the consent of both parents. How long does he have to file an objection? Besides the obvious reasons what makes a parent unfit? What does the court view as exceptional circumstances? Do I have to prove him unfit before I can address the best interest standard?

Thank you in advance for your input.

 

[smcgarry]

What kind of example has bio dad set? Is he a deadbeat or does he truly stand a chance of becomming a good dad someday? There are alot of factors involved, and yes, at least here in TX it is EXTREMELY hard to adopt without consent of both parents. Do you have a good attorney? Have you documented every contact and the interaction of child and bio father?

 

[mac75]

What kind of example has bio dad set? Is he a deadbeat or does he truly stand a chance of becomming a good dad someday? There are alot of factors involved, and yes, at least here in TX it is EXTREMELY hard to adopt without consent of both parents. Do you have a good attorney? Have you documented every contact and the interaction of child and bio father?

Bio dad hasn't set any kind of example. He hasn't been involved with the exception of the 5 times he has seen him in two years. Most of those visits were initiated by me. I tried to help bio dad in every way I knew how so that he could see my nephew. I offered rides, offered to take my nephew to see him, offered him a place to live and possible employment etc. I do have an attorney. I have documented contact. I guess I'll just have to see what happens, but I don't think it is fair that lives remain in limbo while a parent decides if they are going to get it together. I guess what is fair and what is the law are two totally different things. Thank you for you input!

 

[smcgarry]

What does your attorney say?
We had a very had time and have been fighting for over 2 years now. We have been through 3 attorneys and an amicus attorney and I represented us for a while, because some attorneys tend to drag their feet on these matters. (They are not emotionally involved and don't live with the situation day to day!)
My BEST recommendation is to get an EXCELLANT family lawyer to represent you and the child. I have learned that he less expensive the attorney is, generally speaking, the less service you get. (Remember the old saying you get what you pay for? It's TRUE!)
Also, and I can't believe I'm going to say this, but if you can find one with "political" connections you are better off. They usually have a repor witht the Judges and have some strong pull if all other things are in your favor.
Our justice system here in Texas is so not "fair," but things usually work out for the best, given time and ALOT of effort and HARD WORK!
Also, don't hesitate to do some research on your own. You can probably find statutes and codes for your state on their website.
Best of luck to you. I hope everything works out for the best and for what is best for the child!

 

[studly33]

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I don't actually have a direct answer to your question right now but I just had to respond to you because we are in alomst the exact same situation except its my niece that we have gaurdianship of and the mom is contesting. You should meail me at [email protected] just because we will be having a lot of similar experiences and it's nice to have a support who is in a similar situation. Perhaps we can exchange information resources etc....

Nelson

 

[mom2J]

I've just finished a contested adoption and we LOST. Now, the kicker is, the judge stated that "it was truly in the best interest of the child to be adopted by our family", but we didn't prove the grounds to terminate rights. With that said, BM decided to go for custody, but she was told flat out, that under no circumstances would the child be moved out of our home, so nothing really changed for us. She didn't even get visitation. PM me, any of you going through a contested adoption, because there is a group several of us belong to and it's been quite helpful.

Mom2J