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Contesting sons benefit due to paternity

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#1
Florida
My sons father was in an accident a year ago that left him severely brain damaged. He was just approved for disability benefits with his mother as his representative payee. I applied for benefits for my son and we have an office appointment in July. The fathers mother received a letter telling her we had applied for benefits and she called to let me know that she contacted SSA to contest my sons eligibility because she doesn't think her son is my sons father. Can she do this and will my son be denied because of this? What will I need to do?

Also, Do I need to have papers drawn up giving me sole custody and decision making authority since his father is unable to fulfill his role?

His father is on his birth certificate and we were never married.
 
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#2
His mother can report it and the SSA can require a DNA test to prove paternity, Your child's father's mother doesn't have the power to actually stop the benefits.
 
#3
His mother can report it and the SSA can require a DNA test to prove paternity, Your child's father's mother doesn't have the power to actually stop the benefits.
I don't mind the paternity test as there is no question he is the father. Is this something I'll find out about at my office appointment or will I receive a letter beforehand? Also, who is responsible for paying for the DNA test?
 
#4
You will likely be notified at the meeting there is an issue if SSA is taking action on her call. Make sure you take a copy of the birth certificate to the meeting it may end right there.

I would think because you have the birth certificate and it is signed by the father and it is the father (by his rep) that is questioning parenthood it would be the father (i.e. his rep) that would have to pay for the test.
 
#5
I guess I'll find out at the appointment then. With us not being married when our son was born we both had to sign an acknowledgment of paternity form in order to process the birth certificate with his name on it. Don't suppose that would suffice?

We will do the paternity test if need be... I just don't like the idea of giving his mother the satisfaction of forcing us to have it done. She's not the nicest person in the world and has to be a thorn in everyone's lives.

Any ideas on if I need to get paperwork done for custody since his father's incapacitated?
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
#9
I guess I'll find out at the appointment then. With us not being married when our son was born we both had to sign an acknowledgment of paternity form in order to process the birth certificate with his name on it. Don't suppose that would suffice?

We will do the paternity test if need be... I just don't like the idea of giving his mother the satisfaction of forcing us to have it done. She's not the nicest person in the world and has to be a thorn in everyone's lives.

Any ideas on if I need to get paperwork done for custody since his father's incapacitated?
But proving her to be a vindictive [ ] who would deny her own grandchild... Priceless.

They shouldn't let her get away with trying to contest the paternity - the child is 9 years old, per your other post. But stranger things have happened.

Worst case scenario: they do the DNA test, Dad shows up as Dad, and she has to then realize that with Dad incampacitated that your son may be the one who gets to choose her nursing home someday. :sneaky:
 
#10
I have two sons. One is 9 and his father is retired. He looked a LOT younger than his actual age and I found out his actual age in a pharmacy picking up his prescription. We had a nice discussion about that on the way home... My younger son is almost 2 and has the father that had an ATV accident suffering severe brain damage. Needless to say... My older son's father got scared and put us at a distance only seeing his son a handful of times in 9 years. Neither of my boys will know their fathers well and that breaks my heart.
The fact that my younger son is being asked to go though a paternity test by his father's mother is both angering and insulting. I'm thankful my son is too young to know what is going on, but I wonder if he will ever be truly accepted.
My life, and my children's lives, has not been ideal to say the least. I'm trying to do what's best for them, but it's getting harder to make sure I'm making the right decions for them when it comes to their fathers. How long do you leave the door open for a father who rarely sees his son? When do you stop lying to your son about why he can't see his father so you don't paint his dad in a bad light and make your son feel unwanted?
The reason I ask about drawing up papers for custody and decision making on my younger son is because his father's mother has threatened his ex wife about going for custody of their son. I don't want those threats and I definitely don't want to have to invest the time, emotions and money into any potential issues with her.
Sorry about the long story.... I appreciate everyones advice. Thanks.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
#11
I have two sons. One is 9 and his father is retired. He looked a LOT younger than his actual age and I found out his actual age in a pharmacy picking up his prescription. We had a nice discussion about that on the way home... My younger son is almost 2 and has the father that had an ATV accident suffering severe brain damage. Needless to say... My older son's father got scared and put us at a distance only seeing his son a handful of times in 9 years. Neither of my boys will know their fathers well and that breaks my heart.
The fact that my younger son is being asked to go though a paternity test by his father's mother is both angering and insulting. I'm thankful my son is too young to know what is going on, but I wonder if he will ever be truly accepted.
My life, and my children's lives, has not been ideal to say the least. I'm trying to do what's best for them, but it's getting harder to make sure I'm making the right decions for them when it comes to their fathers. How long do you leave the door open for a father who rarely sees his son? When do you stop lying to your son about why he can't see his father so you don't paint his dad in a bad light and make your son feel unwanted?
The reason I ask about drawing up papers for custody and decision making on my younger son is because his father's mother has threatened his ex wife about going for custody of their son. I don't want those threats and I definitely don't want to have to invest the time, emotions and money into any potential issues with her.
Sorry about the long story.... I appreciate everyones advice. Thanks.
Grandma does not have standing to sue for custody of either grandchild. Therefore that threat is empty.
 
#13
UPDATE Had my appointment at SSA on Friday, July 6th, and it went routinely. I was only asked for my ID, son's birth certificate and routing numbers. The representative explained the benefits to me and said we should see his back pay within 30 days. I was shocked to wake up Tuesday morning 7/9 (4am) and see a notification that the direct deposit had been entered! I've never seen it go that fast.
Thank you for everyone's help... My family appreciates it!
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
#14
UPDATE Had my appointment at SSA on Friday, July 6th, and it went routinely. I was only asked for my ID, son's birth certificate and routing numbers. The representative explained the benefits to me and said we should see his back pay within 30 days. I was shocked to wake up Tuesday morning 7/9 (4am) and see a notification that the direct deposit had been entered! I've never seen it go that fast.
Thank you for everyone's help... My family appreciates it!
Great news!! Have you heard from the bitch...errr...I mean grandma lately?
 
#15
Great news!! Have you heard from the bitch...errr...I mean grandma lately?
Lol... She hasn't talked to me since my son was 3 months old. She calls and texts my son's fathers ex wife who is one of my best friends. Grandma was so mad she texted her to let her know that my son would get his benefits, but we would have to split the benefits between our two kids. We already knew that and helped each other through the process. She tried a few times to put a wedge between us.
For grandma, it's all about the money. She is her son's representative payee. For my friend and I... Our two son's father will never be in their lives and it didn't matter how much they were going to get every month. The benefits are for the kids and their happiness and their future. Its being invested in them. Their father can't even open his eyes now since his last brain surgery. There is so much more to be concerned about... Its really sad.
 
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