Continue ignoring or ask for protection from harasment?

[catsmouse]

What is the name of your state? Florida
Ex spouse (no children) has been blocked from contacting (email, phone, social media) and has been ignored for approximately 6 months but continues to use numbers that haven't been blocked to call and leave messages While looking for a missed invoice in the email spam folder came across other emails. The last contact was telling ex that there would be no further replies and asking to be left alone because of anxiety which they are aware is an issue. The divorce is finalized, property was divided before divorce and was not included in the final judgement. Ex spouse wants more items from the home (some of these items have been thrown or given away) and has stated that they will continue trying to get them back, will sue and have threatened to come to the home. Because of the attempts of continued contact causing anxiety a small amount of work has been missed. What is the best course of action?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Florida
Ex spouse (no children) has been blocked from contacting (email, phone, social media) and has been ignored for approximately 6 months but continues to use numbers that haven't been blocked to call and leave messages While looking for a missed invoice in the email spam folder came across other emails. The last contact was telling ex that there would be no further replies and asking to be left alone because of anxiety which they are aware is an issue. The divorce is finalized, property was divided before divorce and was not included in the final judgement. Ex spouse wants more items from the home (some of these items have been thrown or given away) and has stated that they will continue trying to get them back, will sue and have threatened to come to the home. Because of the attempts of continued contact causing anxiety a small amount of work has been missed. What is the best course of action?

Well, you could ask for a restraining order. I don't know if that is enough to get one, but it might be worth trying.

 

[commentator]

Why are there still numbers that haven't been blocked? Why is there still email he can look at? You're still playing this game too, because you're talking to this ex, you're having "anxiety" and using it as an excuse to miss work. You should be talking to a therapist if you have this much anxiety, not telling him to stop contacting you over and over. YOU stop interaction with him. OF COURSE they are aware that your anxiety is an issue, that's the pay off in this on going relationship. I doubt from the sound of this "he's making me anxious" is enough for a restraining order, and I doubt if it would do anything except prolong the on going contact between the two of you. Stop playing. Move on. Do not respond if he contacts you, fix the way he contacted you so it can't happen again, and give him no more calls to tell him not to call you any more, do not provide him with the sought after feedback and eventually he'll find something more reinforcing to do somewhere else.

 

[adjusterjack]

The last contact was telling ex that there would be no further replies and asking to be left alone because of anxiety which they are aware is an issue.

Which was an invitation for the ex to keep picking at you, knowing how to push your buttons.

Continue to block, ignore, delete, if that's what you are doing.

That you have anxiety and missed work supports commentator's suggestion that you are still engaging the ex. Stop doing that.

If ex sues, you defend. Ex will lose.

If ex comes to the house, THEN you get a restraining order.

PS: Why do you refer to your ex as "they"? Do you have more than one that is bothering you?

 

[stealth2]

PS: Why do you refer to your ex as "they"? Do you have more than one that is bothering you?

"They" is a gender-neutral pronoun that is in frequent use all over. Nothing new there...

 

[eyeonforever]

What is the name of your state? Florida
Ex spouse (no children) has been blocked from contacting (email, phone, social media) and has been ignored for approximately 6 months but continues to use numbers that haven't been blocked to call and leave messages While looking for a missed invoice in the email spam folder came across other emails. The last contact was telling ex that there would be no further replies and asking to be left alone because of anxiety which they are aware is an issue. The divorce is finalized, property was divided before divorce and was not included in the final judgement. Ex spouse wants more items from the home (some of these items have been thrown or given away) and has stated that they will continue trying to get them back, will sue and have threatened to come to the home. Because of the attempts of continued contact causing anxiety a small amount of work has been missed. What is the best course of action?

Keep a diary of when he called and what he said (if you weren't able to record the conversation). Build up a case of repetitive contact and take it, not to the police, but to the county attorney. Tell him you want to press charges and he should be fined or jailed.

 

[Just Blue]

Keep a diary of when he called and what he said (if you weren't able to record the conversation). Build up a case of repetitive contact and take it, not to the police, but to the county attorney. Tell him you want to press charges and he should be fined or jailed.

Before you posted the ^ "advice" did you bother to look and see if Florida was an all party consent state? And do you REALLY think that the DA has nothing better to do than prosecute a guy because he is a pain in the azz?

 

[catsmouse]

Why are there still numbers that haven't been blocked? Why is there still email he can look at? You're still playing this game too, because you're talking to this ex, you're having "anxiety" and using it as an excuse to miss work. You should be talking to a therapist if you have this much anxiety, not telling him to stop contacting you over and over. YOU stop interaction with him. OF COURSE they are aware that your anxiety is an issue, that's the pay off in this on going relationship. I doubt from the sound of this "he's making me anxious" is enough for a restraining order, and I doubt if it would do anything except prolong the on going contact between the two of you. Stop playing. Move on. Do not respond if he contacts you, fix the way he contacted you so it can't happen again, and give him no more calls to tell him not to call you any more, do not provide him with the sought after feedback and eventually he'll find something more reinforcing to do somewhere else.

Thank you for the reply. The ex can borrow a phone from a friend, use a work number, etc... They can also make up multiple new emails and the subject line will contain the threat so it's doesn't need to be opened to get the content. Emails are deleted without reading and messages are deleted after recognizing the caller's voice. New numbers are blocked immediately and emails are directed to be marked as spam. There has been no response from my end for 6 months. Therapy is ongoing. Will continue to ignore but anxiety is a beast

 

[catsmouse]

Which was an invitation for the ex to keep picking at you, knowing how to push your buttons.

Continue to block, ignore, delete, if that's what you are doing.

That you have anxiety and missed work supports commentator's suggestion that you are still engaging the ex. Stop doing that.

If ex sues, you defend. Ex will lose.

If ex comes to the house, THEN you get a restraining order.

PS: Why do you refer to your ex as "they"? Do you have more than one that is bothering you?

Thank you for the response. There has been no engagement from me. Only one ex. Can you please explain in a bit more detail why you think ex will lose if they do sue? The police will be called immediately if they do come to the house.

 

[commentator]

What would he be suing you for, exactly? This is very likely an idle threat. How long ago did he make it?
And do remember, the anxiety you're feeling is his pay-off and reinforcement. Without reinforcement, he'll get bored and go away. Intermittent reinforcement, however, is the most intriguing and enticing kind. Make sure you're not providing it. Best wishes. It's like getting chewing gum off your shoe, and I do understand.

 

[Zigner]

What would he be suing you for, exactly? This is very likely an idle threat. How long ago did he make it?
And do remember, the anxiety you're feeling is his pay-off and reinforcement. Without reinforcement, he'll get bored and go away. Intermittent reinforcement, however, is the most intriguing and enticing kind. Make sure you're not providing it. Best wishes. It's like getting chewing gum off your shoe, and I do understand.

Why do you believe the ex is "he"?

 

[commentator]

Well, I tried to keep it gender neutral as long as possible with they and them. But instinctively, I suppose, maybe its an age thing, I tend to assume that "having anxiety" about the ex coming around, because you feel threatened, it's more likely for someone who calls themselves catsmouse to be female. Most males, guys don't often self-represent as a mouse. And I've known scary exes of both sexes, to make a rhyme, but just went for the seems more likely scenario here.

 

[Zigner]

Well, I tried to keep it gender neutral as long as possible with they and them. But instinctively, I suppose, maybe its an age thing, I tend to assume that "having anxiety" about the ex coming around, because you feel threatened, it's more likely for someone who calls themselves catsmouse to be female. Most males, guys don't often self-represent as a mouse. And I've known scary exes of both sexes, to make a rhyme, but just went for the seems more likely scenario here.

Fair enough. My take differs from yours. This OP went to such great pains to remain gender-neutral that it makes it seem that he was worried that our perceived biases would enter in the equation if he admitted to being a male. I hate when posters do that because it sets an untrusting tone from the get-go.