Correspondence question . . .

[NITM]

What is the name of your state? CA

Some background info: Husband and ex-wife have been divorced for 14 years. Child is 15 years of age. Husband and I were married 5 years ago. Ex-wife remarried approx. 13 years ago and has two other children from current husband.

Problem: My husband's ex-wife harasses him constantly with letters containing invented issues and visitation proposals that she's independently created and wants my husband to agree to (that gives her full control to use visitation as punishment/weapon, etc.). She is extremely unhappy with the court's decisions that are currently in force and knows the court won't change things for her silly reasons, so she continues to harass my husband.

Because ex-wife has history of being dishonest and underhanded, husband has been advised to always reply to her in writing. Husband works in construction field and doesn't know how to type/use computer. I physically type all correspondence for husband that has been dictated, reviewed, signed and addressed by him. My husband never initiates letters to ex-wife, but sends letters only in reply to her correspondence. Ex-wife (who still addresses me by my "maiden" name) recently sent us another letter stating that she is filing suit against me, saying that because I "type" his letters, constitutes "harassment, interference and interruption" of their communications. Husband can not contact her by phone without her becoming hostile and hanging up the moment he states an opinion that differs from hers. Ex-wife has her current husband act as her lawyer occasionally (he's an attorney), and makes her husband pick up the child at our home after EVERY visitation (because he "lost" her case, forcing her to share transportation) which my husband has no problem with, and my husband and her husband get along just fine. We don't believe he is aware of all her ridiculous correspondence. She also demands that my husband reply ONLY in his own "handwriting, in five words or less". What? Personally, we think she's mentally ill and she is a litigation addict to boot, but what do we do?

I know it doesn't matter who types someone's letters, but can she really go through with such a frivolous suit?? What can I expect? I'm assuming she'll file a TRO. SHE is the one who harasses us and turns every summer/holiday into a custody battle for the poor child. We'd prefer to ignore her correspondence, but she's the type that will go to court and say that my husband "never disagreed to anything" if he doesn't reply in writing. She even returns some of my husband's letters marked "return to sender" when she sees through the envelope that it's not "handwritten" Oh please - grow up already.

Any thoughts?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?

 

[Zephyr]

I think she is about to show a judge what a kook she is......how the heck does she know who typed it? jeeeez louise!

 

[NITM]

She just assumed

because she knows I'm an Exec. assistant and my husband told her that I do when she asked him, but that he tells me what to write (I just clean up the grammer, etc.). Why should he lie, it doesn't make any difference does it?

 

[Zephyr]

because she knows I'm an Exec. assistant and my husband told her that I do when she asked him, but that he tells me what to write (I just clean up the grammer, etc.). Why should he lie, it doesn't make any difference does it?

no it doesn't make a difference- she's a control freak**************

 

[NITM]

Oh, she sure is a major control freak and jealous too. It's hard for me to understand how that can be when they've been divorced for so long. I thought I was safe getting into this relationship - how wrong was I?! I've never encountered such a malicious person in my life. We're just counting the years left before the boy is 18 (less than 3 yrs left) so we don't have to deal with this any longer, but I'm sure she'll find something else to try and get $$ out of my husband after that.

My husband has paid all of his child support on time, without fail for the past 14 years, yet she still complains, always wants more, and sends demand letters falsely accusing my husband that he's not paying, and that it's "forcing her to write bad checks and incur overdraft fees". Even the Dept. of Child Support Services is confused and thinks she's nuts when I call them to make sure everything's being paid ok. He's never even been late! She also sends subpoenas inappropriately to my husband's union/employer trying to get information on him.

I feel much better hearing from you that she can't do anything about me typing the letters. Whew!

 

[casa]

Oh, she sure is a major control freak and jealous too. It's hard for me to understand how that can be when they've been divorced for so long. I thought I was safe getting into this relationship - how wrong was I?! I've never encountered such a malicious person in my life. We're just counting the years left before the boy is 18 (less than 3 yrs left) so we don't have to deal with this any longer, but I'm sure she'll find something else to try and get $$ out of my husband after that.

My husband has paid all of his child support on time, without fail for the past 14 years, yet she still complains, always wants more, and sends demand letters falsely accusing my husband that he's not paying, and that it's "forcing her to write bad checks and incur overdraft fees". Even the Dept. of Child Support Services is confused and thinks she's nuts when I call them to make sure everything's being paid ok. He's never even been late! She also sends subpoenas inappropriately to my husband's union/employer trying to get information on him.

I feel much better hearing from you that she can't do anything about me typing the letters. Whew!

I sure wish she would though~ LOL ~ Then your husband can submit her demand letter that all correspondence be handwritten in 5 words or less. That would be fun to watch

 

[NITM]

Yes, it would be fun to watch if the Judge would actually SAY something to her this time and tell her to knock it off. My husband has even gone to court with 9 police reports for her violations of the court order. It blows me away how no matter what the X does, the court doesn't get on her case for it and at the very least SAY something . . . ANYTHING to her to discourage her behavior. She even throws major temper tantrums in the mediators office, refuses to agree with anything, grabs her purse and stomps out of the office, but they don't even relay that info to the Judge to prove what an unreasonable psycho she is. I don't get it! She also openly laughs at and sneers at my husband and I as soon as we step out of the courtroom if something goes her way, and then she'll make sure she slips into our same elevator in the courthouse and laugh in our face, like she's trying to get one of us to smack her (which I'd like to) so she can scream "battery". But if court doesn't go the way she wants it, she'll bawl her eyes out in front of the judge. It seems that just because she's the "mother" they won't say or do anything, but if my husband ever tried to pull the same crap, they'd probably toss him in jail.

 

[NITM]

Does anyone know what we could/shoud do so my husband and I can just live in peace, free from the x's constant games and harassment? I'm at a loss and don't know if I can take 3 more years of this. Believe me, everything I've mentioned in this entire thread is only the tip of the iceberg in regards to what the x-wife has done. We just want her to follow the court order and leave us alone.

 

[LdiJ]

Oh, she sure is a major control freak and jealous too. It's hard for me to understand how that can be when they've been divorced for so long. I thought I was safe getting into this relationship - how wrong was I?! I've never encountered such a malicious person in my life. We're just counting the years left before the boy is 18 (less than 3 yrs left) so we don't have to deal with this any longer, but I'm sure she'll find something else to try and get $$ out of my husband after that.letters.

Hon, don't count on not having to "deal" with her after the child turns 18. There are going to be major events in the child's life when you are probably going to have to end up dealing with her. There also may be grandkids some day as well.

 

[haiku]

Hon, don't count on not having to "deal" with her after the child turns 18. There are going to be major events in the child's life when you are probably going to have to end up dealing with her. There also may be grandkids some day as well.

yes, but the stress is much easier to handle when its on your own terms and someone else is not holding a court order over your head....

 

[NITM]

That's what I'm hoping . . . that it'll be "easier", but unfortunately I know she'll be trying to make all of us as miserable as she is for the rest of our days. At least when all the child support and visitation orders are over with, my husband and I can tell her to FOAD when she tries to annoy us. We only wish she would follow the court order in the meantime. Instead she's delusional and thinks that she can unilaterally modify it whenever she sees fit.