Could he use this against me?

[MomTryin2Improv]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

I was recently awarded custody of my 3-yr-old daughter. Her dad is in the army in Alaska, and our new agreement is that she spends 3 months with me, and then a month with him, and so on (only until she starts school full time).
Anyways, she is set to go and see him for the month of September. He gets out of the army in October/November, and will be starting Border Patrol training around that time, which lasts 5 months (at least that's what he told me). Since he probably won't get his visitation with her until the end of that 5 months, I have agreed (edited to add- offered) to let her stay an extra week in October.
A friend of mine brought up a scary thought for me though- what if he's just trying to make it seem like I'm abandoning her? Could he use this against me? I would think that a judge would see that I'm just trying to facilitate his time with her, but I just want to be sure.

 

[Noelle_71]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

I was recently awarded custody of my 3-yr-old daughter. Her dad is in the army in Alaska, and our new agreement is that she spends 3 months with me, and then a month with him, and so on (only until she starts school full time).
Anyways, she is set to go and see him for the month of September. He gets out of the army in October/November, and will be starting Border Patrol training around that time, which lasts 5 months (at least that's what he told me). Since he probably won't get his visitation with her until the end of that 5 months, I have agreed to let her stay an extra week in October.
A friend of mine brought up a scary thought for me though- what if he's just trying to make it seem like I'm abandoning her? Could he use this against me? I would think that a judge would see that I'm just trying to facilitate his time with her, but I just want to be sure.

This is a common sense question, c'mon....How could agreeing to spending an extra week with dad be considered abandonment?
Just document it. I'd suggest you and he write an agreement with dates and reason and you then use that for questions that may arise. Its what I do with my ex and it seems to be holding up pretty well when problems arise.
Write a letter, state what his extra visitation is, make copies, send one to him certified, send one to the court to be put in your file (not sure if every state allows this, Florida does, but you aren't there, doh.) And if you have an attorney, let them know too.
Something I have always done, in this type of situation, is email my ex, state very clearly what we are agreeing to and ask him straight out..."This is what we agreed to, right"? And then he replies....I use Gmail, emails don't ever expire and I display all headers to show the electronic trail. While this isn't the best way, it's held up in court for me.
Just get it in writing.

 

[MomTryin2Improv]

That's what I thought, but I am no expert. (Which is why I'm asking).

I guess I should have just asked this way- Can this be held against me in any way, legally?

 

[Halls]

Yep get it all in writing and signed both the both of you. Not everything is a conspiracy.

 

[Noelle_71]

That's what I thought, but I am no expert. (Which is why I'm asking).

I guess I should have just asked this way- Can this be held against me in any way, legally?

Let me ask you a question?
How do you THINK it could be used against you legally? Think...

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

I was recently awarded custody of my 3-yr-old daughter. Her dad is in the army in Alaska, and our new agreement is that she spends 3 months with me, and then a month with him, and so on (only until she starts school full time).
Anyways, she is set to go and see him for the month of September. He gets out of the army in October/November, and will be starting Border Patrol training around that time, which lasts 5 months (at least that's what he told me). Since he probably won't get his visitation with her until the end of that 5 months, I have agreed (edited to add- offered) to let her stay an extra week in October.
A friend of mine brought up a scary thought for me though- what if he's just trying to make it seem like I'm abandoning her? Could he use this against me? I would think that a judge would see that I'm just trying to facilitate his time with her, but I just want to be sure.

No, a judge wouldn't frown on you letting Dad have extra time.

If your X is the type that manipulates~ Then do as advised and e-mail or send a letter (Return Receipt Requested) outlining the start & end date of the visit with a mention of why she's staying an extra week. Save all copies.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

I was recently awarded custody of my 3-yr-old daughter. Her dad is in the army in Alaska, and our new agreement is that she spends 3 months with me, and then a month with him, and so on (only until she starts school full time).
Anyways, she is set to go and see him for the month of September. He gets out of the army in October/November, and will be starting Border Patrol training around that time, which lasts 5 months (at least that's what he told me). Since he probably won't get his visitation with her until the end of that 5 months, I have agreed (edited to add- offered) to let her stay an extra week in October.
A friend of mine brought up a scary thought for me though- what if he's just trying to make it seem like I'm abandoning her? Could he use this against me? I would think that a judge would see that I'm just trying to facilitate his time with her, but I just want to be sure.

A/O 6-22-6 the order wasn't signed and prior to that you lost custody because of your fitness. You should be asking your attorney these questions, they are the best person to advise you on how to handle this situation in light of the language of the order which ever order is current.

 

[MomTryin2Improv]

A/O 6-22-6 the order wasn't signed and prior to that you lost custody because of your fitness. You should be asking your attorney these questions, they are the best person to advise you on how to handle this situation in light of the language of the order which ever order is current.

Thanks for your oh so gracious comment, Rmet. You always know just what to say.

Read again. I never "lost custody because of my fitness". I GAVE custody. And now I have it back.

Now, because of one comment that I made questioning your omniscient legal advice, you are determined to respond to every post of mine in a condescending, patronizing way.

If it makes your day better to do so, so be it. I'll be looking forward to it next time.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thanks for your oh so gracious comment, Rmet. You always know just what to say.

Read again. I never "lost custody because of my fitness". I GAVE custody. And now I have it back.

Now, because of one comment that I made questioning your omniscient legal advice, you are determined to respond to every post of mine in a condescending, patronizing way.

If it makes your day better to do so, so be it. I'll be looking forward to it next time.

I didn't say why you lost custody did I? That is not condescending or patronizing, it was giving you the only advice we can give. This is not a vent, Rant, support group. If you hadn't "given" it to dad, it would have been taken away when you were in jail. You only got custody back because of a technicality, not because you were proven fit, that is why, since this latest order was unsigned by the judge on 6-22-6, that you check with your attorney otherwise you may find your latest order appealed.

 

[MomTryin2Improv]

I didn't say why you lost custody did I? That is not condescending or patronizing, it was giving you the only advice we can give. This is not a vent, Rant, support group. If you hadn't "given" it to dad, it would have been taken away when you were in jail. You only got custody back because of a technicality, not because you were proven fit, that is why, since this latest order was unsigned by the judge on 6-22-6, that you check with your attorney otherwise you may find your latest order appealed.

I received custody back because the CFI AND the Judge could both see that my ex was trying to cut me out of my daughter's life. Simple. Apparantly both parties can see that I am extremely fit, and both commended me on how well I turned my life around.

I spoke to the courts, my lawyer, and my ex has contacted his lawyer re the absent order (not the unsigned order). There were minor typos in said order, which were fixed and then signed by both lawyers and submitted to the court. The judge will sign at the beginning of next week, if she hasn't already.

I was simply asking if my ex could try anything, not predicting or assuming that he actually would. We are getting along better than we have in quite a while, and I just don't want to be blindsided with something terrible.

Thanks again for your responses.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I received custody back because the CFI AND the Judge could both see that my ex was trying to cut me out of my daughter's life. Simple. Apparantly both parties can see that I am extremely fit, and both commended me on how well I turned my life around.

I spoke to the courts, my lawyer, and my ex has contacted his lawyer re the absent order (not the unsigned order). There were minor typos in said order, which were fixed and then signed by both lawyers and submitted to the court. The judge will sign at the beginning of next week, if she hasn't already.

I was simply asking if my ex could try anything, not predicting or assuming that he actually would. We are getting along better than we have in quite a while, and I just don't want to be blindsided with something terrible.

Thanks again for your responses.

Again, you need to direct these questions to your attorney.