Court notification

[Newlydivmomto4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri/Out of state

I filed for child support enforcement last year and they started garnishing my ex's check in August, the first of every month. Everything is notated online, which I love and is extremely helpful. However since it is an interstate case, Missouri will not talk to me as my state (Kentucky) is their client, not me.

Well I go online today and there is nothing noted for the month. Ex's check is like clockwork, so if it's not already notated it's not going to happen this month. So in my few hours of stressing because I have no idea what is going on, Missouri said they can't tell me anything, Kentucky said they will call and check what is going on. I then decided for the heck of it to look online at Missouri's case net and low an behold, there's a court date that I'm the plaintiff and ex is the respondent coming up, Wednesday. Now I'm stressing even more, I called the number of my "attorney" of which I have no knowledge of, and they said he is out of the office today and that he'll call me back tomorrow. I'm trying to figure out if I need to be there for this or can appear by phone. I'm looking at the case history and it looks like they have served my ex papers but never to me.

Any guesses by looking into crystal balls as to what is going on? If I need to be there that is fine, I just need to know now so I can get things done at work in preparation to be out on Wednesday.

 

[stealth2]

*I* believe it is important to be at EVERY court date.

Also, given the 1st was on a Sturday.....

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

*I* believe it is important to be at EVERY court date.

Also, given the 1st was on a Sturday.....

The garnishment is actually deposited the last day of the month, it's a government check so it has been consistent the last day for the three months its been in effect.

I don't like being out in the cold, can I just show up?

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Update and question

Well the court date yesterday was to register the out of state child support order so they could modify it.

Ex has requested a downward modification due to his income lowering. Background: gross income went down, net income went up due to large percentage of income is now tax free. All I have ever asked of my ex is that he pay cs. I was entitled to part of his retirement, alimony as well as part of his TSP (similar to 403b) but I did not touch those. When court comes around for the modification, can that be taken into account by the judge?

 

[not2cleverRed]

Was the income decrease voluntary?

 

[LdiJ]

Well the court date yesterday was to register the out of state child support order so they could modify it.

Ex has requested a downward modification due to his income lowering. Background: gross income went down, net income went up due to large percentage of income is now tax free. All I have ever asked of my ex is that he pay cs. I was entitled to part of his retirement, alimony as well as part of his TSP (similar to 403b) but I did not touch those. When court comes around for the modification, can that be taken into account by the judge?

No, the fact that you did not go after your share of his retirement or ask for alimony cannot be taken into consideration in a child support modification.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Was the income decrease voluntary?

His pay decrease is voluntary.

 

[not2cleverRed]

His pay decrease is voluntary.

*That* is your counterargument: no, you do not agree to a downward child support modification, because his pay decrease was voluntary.

Now, how do you *know* that the pay decrease was voluntary?

 

[Zigner]

*That* is your counterargument: no, you do not agree to a downward child support modification, because his pay decrease was voluntary.

Now, how do you *know* that the pay decrease was voluntary?

I suspect the other parent retired, or something along those lines. The OP mentioned earlier that "...large percentage of income is now tax free."

 

[Silverplum]

I suspect the other parent retired, or something along those lines. The OP mentioned earlier that "...large percentage of income is now tax free."

Yup. The 'TSP' is his Thrift Savings Plan, the federal retirement savings account.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I suspect the other parent retired, or something along those lines. The OP mentioned earlier that "...large percentage of income is now tax free."

Wouldn't it then be reasonable to say something about age - if it's early retirement, then that's voluntary.

If it's not early retirement, then that's on OP for not insisting more during the divorce - and be less coy here.

Argh. Posting hx.

NewlyDivorced, if you're talking about someone on disability (as well as retired military) "voluntarily" having reduced their income by going on disability, you are barking up the wrong tree.

*However* it seems that you have offered him a break in the past. How close is the current order to the guidelines? If you have previously lowered support to "help" him, he may already be paying less than the guidelines.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Wouldn't it then be reasonable to say something about age - if it's early retirement, then that's voluntary.

If it's not early retirement, then that's on OP for not insisting more during the divorce - and be less coy here.

Argh. Posting hx.

NewlyDivorced, if you're talking about someone on disability (as well as retired military) "voluntarily" having reduced their income by going on disability, you are barking up the wrong tree.

*However* it seems that you have offered him a break in the past. How close is the current order to the guidelines? If you have previously lowered support to "help" him, he may already be paying less than the guidelines.

I'm really not sure what he wants. At this point it is all being handled interstate, ex won't talk to me, says talk to my attorney. Attorney sent me a letter 2 years ago saying, ex's state says that he is suppose to pay this much now so that is what he is going to pay. When I called the attorney he said that he had filed in Missouri for the child support to be lowered and if I wanted to fight his letter then I would have to file in Missouri and retain a lawyer there as well, if I wanted to avoid all that cost I could simply sign a piece of paper and the lawyer would file all this in court and I wouldn't have to worry about the expense. I told him that I would not be signing anything allowing ex's lawyer to do anything for me in Missouri(not that stupid thanks to here), that I can just file with cse in my Kentucky and they would deal with it. Lawyer then hung up on me. I called Missouri and the lawyer never filed a thing. Last year I filed with Kentucky's cse because ex kept being obnoxious.

At this point my ex owes over 20k in arrears. I'm sure my ex wants to pay as little as possible and get out of paying the arrears, he'd probably be happiest if he didn't have to pay anything and let my husband foot the bill. Which he has told the kids; why should I pay your mom child support? Her husband is well off. Well, my husband is not well off. He works 60+hours a week to make up for the fact that my ex isn't paying half of what he owes each month and I'm working a second job as well.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I'm really not sure what he wants. At this point it is all being handled interstate, ex won't talk to me, says talk to my attorney. Attorney sent me a letter 2 years ago saying, ex's state says that he is suppose to pay this much now so that is what he is going to pay. When I called the attorney he said that he had filed in Missouri for the child support to be lowered and if I wanted to fight his letter then I would have to file in Missouri and retain a lawyer there as well, if I wanted to avoid all that cost I could simply sign a piece of paper and the lawyer would file all this in court and I wouldn't have to worry about the expense. I told him that I would not be signing anything allowing ex's lawyer to do anything for me in Missouri(not that stupid thanks to here), that I can just file with cse in my Kentucky and they would deal with it. Lawyer then hung up on me. I called Missouri and the lawyer never filed a thing. Last year I filed with Kentucky's cse because ex kept being obnoxious.

At this point my ex owes over 20k in arrears. I'm sure my ex wants to pay as little as possible and get out of paying the arrears, he'd probably be happiest if he didn't have to pay anything and let my husband foot the bill. Which he has told the kids; why should I pay your mom child support? Her husband is well off. Well, my husband is not well off. He works 60+hours a week to make up for the fact that my ex isn't paying half of what he owes each month and I'm working a second job as well.

Oh, he's one of *those*.

You are correct to not take legal advice from your ex.

Is the current order less than what would generally be ordered following state guidelines? (Might look at state the order was originally from, state you're currently in, any state in between.) Because there seems to be a pattern - didn't he convince you to lower support at one point because of his new family?

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Oh, he's one of *those*.

You are correct to not take legal advice from your ex.

Is the current order less than what would generally be ordered following state guidelines? (Might look at state the order was originally from, state you're currently in, any state in between.) Because there seems to be a pattern - didn't he convince you to lower support at one point because of his new family?

Yeah, he told me his income went down when he retired. I felt sorry for him. Then one day when I called to check on my own va check (former military myself) I entered his ss# instead and heard what his check was. He hadn't told me that he was 100% P & T, he was getting twice what he told me he was getting.

It's the poor me express in his home. He told our younger two that the child support he was paying me came out of their step-mother's check because he was retired and didn't work anymore. I normally do not bring up child support with the kids, it's not their worry. I did however let them know that their dad did indeed have an income and it was the same as their step-father's. If step-father pays child support for his kids then don't they think their father should pay child support for them? I left it at that.

ETA: Current order is the original order from California. It's a little more than what either state would be but it's also based on him having the kids 33% of the time. The maximum number of days he has ever had the kids is 30 days in a year. There have been years when he does not get them at all. The older two quit going when my oldest told me when he was 16 "Mom, if you make me go back there I will end up in jail." Since the visitation is "as agreed upon by both parents" I didn't make him go back.

 

[Zigner]

My ex sister-in-law told me straight out that she (and her family) felt that my new wife should take responsibility for the kids and that their mother should be able to simply move on without any further responsibility. Yep - they were some fine folk.