Court Order bites @!

[Cindy123]

The EX filed a court order for visition because children for a period of time didn't want to visit with him and his new wife for reasons you wouldn't believe !!! for 3 months now the children must visit with him - 1 overnight and 1 - 3 hr visit/ week. Tell me this....what happens when HE doesn't show up at the time or doesn't even call ???? He has done this now 3 times !!! he also shows up when it is not his scheduled time. I have appointment with my attorney next week. I have had enough ! oh, he has also filed for 50% custody on which we have a hearing next month.

help !

**** one reader wrote - " call the police..." he is local police officer and in PA this is not a police matter.
Let me explain my question alittle better..."What happens when he got a court order for visition and HE fails to pick up children -- 3 different times in 2 months !!! ..but if I would not let the children go with him...then I'm in contempt !!! What about him ? SHouldn't he be in contempt too ???

[Edited by Cindy123 on 12-26-2000 at 12:10 PM]

 

[Ukiah]

The EX filed a court order for visition because children for a period of time didn't want to visit with him and his new wife for reasons you wouldn't believe !!! for 3 months now the children must visit with him - 1 overnight and 1 - 3 hr visit/ week. Tell me this....what happens when HE doesn't show up at the time or doesn't even call ???? He has done this now 3 times !!! he also shows up when it is not his scheduled time. I have appointment with my attorney next week. I have had enough ! oh, he has also filed for 50% custody on which we have a hearing next month.

help !

In all honesty, if he doesn't show up, you need to take the children to him. Because YOU can be held responsible for their refusal. You can try calling the police and file a report, which may be admisseable in court.

When you go to court, ask the Judge what you should do when he doesn't show up, then ask for mediation, to work out some of the "kinks" and have something added to the effect of:

Time & Place for drop off/ pick up.
lead time for such event (usually 15 minutes)
"upon which, if the other parent doesn't arrive to pick up their children, the children will remain with the other parent until the following day of visitation"

The best piece of advice I can give you is... STUDY your state family codes/ laws this will be the best telling you what you should and shouldn't do.

Good luck,

 

[MySonsMom]

No No No. If the Father doesn't show up for his scheduled visitation, the Mother does not bring the children to him. No one can force the non custodial parent to excercise their visitation, that is the decision of the non custodial parent. In no way is the custodial parent obligated to find him and deliver the children if he doesn't come for them. That is ridiculous. If the Father doesn't show up, the custodial parent documents this and goes on with the day. In no way should she track him down and force him to take the children!! And in no way will she be held liable for the unexcercised vistition time.

Oh and I am lmao over the 50% custody hearing..Is he stupid or what?

[Edited by MySonsMom on 12-26-2000 at 12:11 PM]

 

[Cindy123]

THank you !
I would never take the children to him when he doesn't show up !!! The children don't want to go with him anyway. My attorney tells me to wait 1/2 hour and if he doesn't show then he forfeits his time. But I've had enough of this...he is the one who filed the court order for visition because the children didn't want to see him. and now he doesn't show up or even call -- 3 times now ! He has also filed for 50% custody so he doesn't have to pay support. He was remarried 1 month after the divorce was granted...also just 6 months after he left. nice guy huh!

 

[Ukiah]

THank you !
I would never take the children to him when he doesn't show up !!! The children don't want to go with him anyway. My attorney tells me to wait 1/2 hour and if he doesn't show then he forfeits his time. But I've had enough of this...he is the one who filed the court order for visition because the children didn't want to see him. and now he doesn't show up or even call -- 3 times now ! He has also filed for 50% custody so he doesn't have to pay support. He was remarried 1 month after the divorce was granted...also just 6 months after he left. nice guy huh!

What state are you in? In Cali, there are codes in determining the "Right to custody of minor Child" Part 2, chapter 1, section 3020 thru Chapter 11 Section 3150-3153. This alo includes Custody, Visitation rights, Investigation, and counsel appointed to child, as well as mediation.

You can also look up (CA. Codes);

Part 3, sections 3400-3465
Division 9, sections 3500-3634 (support)
Part 2, sections 3900-4253 (support)
Part 5, Sections, 4500-4733 (Enforcement of support)

What I am trying to say is that it appeals to the court (in your favor) that you do everything you possibly can to ensure that the child have a relationship with the NCP.

If you go to Court saying "He didn't do this and he didn't do that..." the Judge isn't going to be as much on your side as he should be.

You need to show the court what YOU have done to promote the relationship. Even if it means driving the child over to his residence.

Look up your state family codes/ laws to prepare yourself, and use as a guide line. don't go to court unprepared. Even if you have an attorney it is in your best interest to learn what laws will help you retain custody of your child.

I wouldn't have ever taken my daughter to her father's for visitation either, if and when he didn't show up. but now, I would because of what the laws state I should do as the responsible parent.

I had an attorney also, she gave my daughter away, didn't even fight for her, and talked behind my back to the other attorney. She didn't speak up during the hearings, I was the one who had to do my own talking while she was present!

[Edited by Ukiah on 12-26-2000 at 01:08 PM]

 

[MySonsMom]

I understand what you are saying Ukiah, but if the visiting parent doesn't show up for their visitation, in no way will a judge look at the custodial parent in dismay about her/him not finding the parent for the visition or even look down upon the custodial parent for not seeking them out for the missed time. This has nothing to do with "doing everything you can to establish a good relationship with the child(ren)." The obligation a custodial parent has is encouraging the children to visit the non custodial parent, and doing what they can to encourage the children to go with the visiting parent. There is nothing that the custodial parent can do if the visiting parent CHOOSES not to visit the children..and in no way will the custodial parent be penalized for the actions of the visiting parent. Don't get me wrong, I agree with you when you say that the custodial parent should encourage visitation, but this is a different situation..The visiting parent isn't coming for the children and this is in NO way the fault of the children OR the custodial parent. If the Father was there for the children, and the children didn't want to go; that is where the custodal parent steps in to encourage the child to go..and sometimes that doesn't work. (children DO have a mind of their own) Then that is when a judge would look to the custodial parent to see if attempts were made to encourage the visit...

 

[LegalBeagle]

Sorry Ukiah, but I totally disagree. If the NCP does not turn up, then you do not drag the kids into the car, turn up at the NCP doorstep and tell him to take the children. Promoting the relation is about not talking bad about the other parent, allowing contact and being available to discuss visitation.. and of course having the children ready to go.

In this case, him not exericising the visitation he has demanded will hurt his case and destory any chance at custody.

 

[Ukiah]

Sorry Ukiah, but I totally disagree. If the NCP does not turn up, then you do not drag the kids into the car, turn up at the NCP doorstep and tell him to take the children. Promoting the relation is about not talking bad about the other parent, allowing contact and being available to discuss visitation.. and of course having the children ready to go.

In this case, him not exericising the visitation he has demanded will hurt his case and destory any chance at custody.

Point taken. And information that will possibly come in use in our future. Thanks