Court ordered to provide a cell phone?

[helpthisdad]

Missouri. My son is 14 and our parenting plan states that I will provide and pay for his cell phone. It reads that either parent can take the phone away but that communication with the other parent through that phone can not be limited. She has shut the phone off and hid it from my son. It has been off for 11 days now. I live in another state and get my son during school breaks and the summer. I check his grades online to keep up with his school and the day before his phone was shut off i spoke to his mom about his grades because he was getting 3 f's and 3d's because of missing work and failed tests. She has the same access to his grades as me but never checks it. She admitted having no idea he was failing and also admitted to taking him out to work functions in the evenings and having him do his homework in restaurants. Then she said she took his phone away for punishment even though i told her i already disabled his data and texting abilities on his phone. 2 days later she let me talk to him for 3 mins then told him to wrap it up because they were going out to watch the baseball game. Went another 3 days without an answer on her phone. By this day all his late work was due. Asked him when she would give his phone back and she had told him, "when she does." I talked to her and she said she isn't going to give it back because our son is disrespectful after i talk to him and until she gets the respect she deserves as his mother he doesn't get it back. Then she hung up. I recorded this conversation. Its now, again, day 3 of not talking to him and I'm sure I wont all weekend. What should I do?

 

[LdiJ]

Missouri. My son is 14 and our parenting plan states that I will provide and pay for his cell phone. It reads that either parent can take the phone away but that communication with the other parent through that phone can not be limited. She has shut the phone off and hid it from my son. It has been off for 11 days now. I live in another state and get my son during school breaks and the summer. I check his grades online to keep up with his school and the day before his phone was shut off i spoke to his mom about his grades because he was getting 3 f's and 3d's because of missing work and failed tests. She has the same access to his grades as me but never checks it. She admitted having no idea he was failing and also admitted to taking him out to work functions in the evenings and having him do his homework in restaurants. Then she said she took his phone away for punishment even though i told her i already disabled his data and texting abilities on his phone. 2 days later she let me talk to him for 3 mins then told him to wrap it up because they were going out to watch the baseball game. Went another 3 days without an answer on her phone. By this day all his late work was due. Asked him when she would give his phone back and she had told him, "when she does." I talked to her and she said she isn't going to give it back because our son is disrespectful after i talk to him and until she gets the respect she deserves as his mother he doesn't get it back. Then she hung up. I recorded this conversation. Its now, again, day 3 of not talking to him and I'm sure I wont all weekend. What should I do?

When the other parent is not obeying the parenting plan the only option is to take that parent to court for contempt.

I will give you a piece of parenting advice however. Do make sure that nothing you are discussing with your son would even remotely hint that you don't respect his mother and that you don't expect HIM to respect his mother. Its a trap that many divorced/separated parents fall into without even realizing that they are doing it.