What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Nebraska
This is my first post here and I know I should probably set back and observe for a while, but time is not on my side.
My father is 70 years old. He has DOPA over is 104 year old Aunt. It has been that way for the last 11 years. This last summer we did something that my aunt did not want, we moved her from her house to a home. I know it sounds cruel, but she would not leave on her own. The reason we moved her from her home is because she is going deaf, blind, and lived alone. 5 years ago a nearby school decided to expand and took her block. When my Great Aunt sold them the house they signed an agreement saying that she could live in the house as long as she was able. I began to see where the school may start to question whether or not a blind and deaf woman was able to live by herself. For that reason we moved her into the best nursing home in the small city where she and my parents live.
Add to this the fact that my Great Aunt seems to be loosing her mind. Now if you crossed her the wrong way she has always been the type to get revenge and she has said pretty nasty things about people in the past that I suspected were not true. My Great Aunt used to say almost anything to get her what she wanted. When she became elderly she used her status as and elderly person to help validate her stories. I can say while she used to tell some pretty vile things about people, what she is saying about my mother now are the worst.
She has been claiming for the past two years that my mother beat her. My Great Aunt and my mother do not get along and it is well known. She stared by telling me that my mother beat her and that my mother always hated my father and I. My great Aunt has weighed 90 lbs. for several years, so if she had been beaten the bruises would have been more than obvious. My great Aunt also has nurses who have come in for the last 3 years to take care of her and they never saw any bruises. Now take into consideration that she decided to add onto her story the fact that my mother hated my father and me. A few weeks after she made this claim she called me with urgent news. She started off saying that my daughter was going blind because her hair was in her eyes. Suddenly mid-conversation she changed direction and told her that my daughter cried to her that my mother pulled her hair.
I of course asked my daughter if it was true. My daughter who was 8 at the time looked into my eyes and told me that Great Aunt was lying. After that my father and I had a long talk and we decided it was time to my Great Aunt into a place where she could be taken care of.
Her doctor agreed that we needed to take her in for an exam before we put her into a home. He told my father that it was good that he finally decided to put Great Aunt somewhere safe. By leaving her in her home we were bordering on being negligent. He gave her a small test where he asked her about things that happened in the county and things like her birthday and she passed it, but it by no means tested whether or not she hallucinated or fabricated huge lies to get her way.
She was furious about the move and claimed the home was doing things to her. My Uncle believed her claims and moved her into an assisted living place that she told my father she refused to move into. After that my Uncle bowed out. He created some problems by not involving my father who has DOPA in the decision or telling him that she was now saying something totally different.
Add to this mix my father's old maid cousin. She never married and never had to work hard because everything she ever had was provided for her by her parents. Until her parents death she lived with her parents and they provided for her. Now she is moving into an assisted living home herself and she wants new furnishings that she can not afford. She has been asking my Great Aunt to buy them for her.
My Great Aunt has enough money for 5 years in this Assisted Living Home, but if she totally looses her sight or can no longer walk she will have to go to a nursing home. Since she told so many wild tales about the first one she was in they will never take her back. My husband's grandparents were in the other one in that city and I can say I would die before I would allow my father to put her in there. We are looking at nursing homes on the end of the state by where I live so that I could help my father do her errands for her. All of theses nursing homes cost a lot of money every month and they will take all of her money with-in a year and a half.
My Great Aunt needs her money for herself and with that in mind my father has been very tight with her financial reigns. He will not give her money to give his cousin. (She would have never agreed to purchase several thousand dollars worth of furnishings when she had her senses about her.) This cousin is able to work Great Aunt and would come over to get Great Aunt things and then would get paid for her trouble. Since my father tightened up the reigns this cousin can't do that any more.
A few months ago this Cousin and her Nephew went to the administrator of the assisted living facility and told him that my mother was abusing Great Aunt. They told the administrator that if he did not turn in my mother for abuse they would do it plus they would turn him in as well for not reporting it. The administrator did not call my father but my Uncle and let him know. My uncle of course called my father.
The cousin and her nephew and his wife also called my uncle. The told him that my father was taking Great Aunt's money and using it for himself. That was not true and my father has the records to prove that. Also he had it set up so that the lawyer can ask for records to check them himself. They told my uncle that they were going to take over DPOA. They told my uncle that my mother tried to poison my Great Aunt when she had a very severe eye infection. They said that my mother tried to put pills down Great Aunts throat to poison her.
My father of course contacted my Great Aunt's attorney and the attorney assured him that things like this happen all the time and usually it is done by people who never did things for the elderly person before. It was usually done by people who are only doing it for the money.
My uncle told my father everything. This was before Christmas. During the first part of December the local social worker called on both my Great Aunt and my mother. She found that my Great Aunt was very hostile towards my mother, but she adored my father and me. My Great Aunt told her that she would never want to take DPOA away from my father.
The social worker asked about this supposed poisoning incident and my Great Aunt told her that my mother tried to pour a clear liquid down her throat to poison her. My Great Aunts private nurses were there and the time and they too know about the way Great Aunt lies. The nurses told the social worker that when Great Aunt told them it was first about mom putting something that burned into her eyes when she had the bad eye infection and then changed it to forcing pills down her throat the next week.
The social worker then interviewed my parents. She is the one who told them that while Great Aunt adores my father and me she holds onto a very strong dislike for my mother. She said that this little test that the doctor gave my great aunt that the cousin and her nephew wants to get a hold of to prove that my father should not be DPOA is not worth anything. She also wanted to names of the people who first made the threat to report so she could have them on file if they try it again. She also said that she found there was no abuse as the nurses were there and they reported that they never saw any marks on my Great Aunt. Everything my Great Aunt claims my mother did would have left huge bruises since Great Aunt has hardly any muscle.
We thought is was all over and put to bed, but my Uncle called last week and said that the administrator called and told him the cousin and her nephew were threatening to turn in a family member for elder abuse again. My father knew that my mother has not been there so they could not be turning in my mother, he thinks this time it is him. They also said they were going to take DPOA since my father is moving out of town. (My father is getting older and I need to start looking out for him and my mother. Also, I am in my 30's and if needed, I can drive my father to my great aunt at a moment's notice. This cousin's nephew who plans to take over Great Aunts money lives just as far away.)
This is all very hard on my father who has heart problems. (He has had two valves replaced and a double bypass.)
I need to find a way to stop these cousins once and for all before they kill my father and use up Great Aunts money forcing her into some place that would not be nice to live. I am sure that there are things I have left out, but I tried to include everything I could think of. I am at the end of my rope, please help.
This is my first post here and I know I should probably set back and observe for a while, but time is not on my side.
My father is 70 years old. He has DOPA over is 104 year old Aunt. It has been that way for the last 11 years. This last summer we did something that my aunt did not want, we moved her from her house to a home. I know it sounds cruel, but she would not leave on her own. The reason we moved her from her home is because she is going deaf, blind, and lived alone. 5 years ago a nearby school decided to expand and took her block. When my Great Aunt sold them the house they signed an agreement saying that she could live in the house as long as she was able. I began to see where the school may start to question whether or not a blind and deaf woman was able to live by herself. For that reason we moved her into the best nursing home in the small city where she and my parents live.
Add to this the fact that my Great Aunt seems to be loosing her mind. Now if you crossed her the wrong way she has always been the type to get revenge and she has said pretty nasty things about people in the past that I suspected were not true. My Great Aunt used to say almost anything to get her what she wanted. When she became elderly she used her status as and elderly person to help validate her stories. I can say while she used to tell some pretty vile things about people, what she is saying about my mother now are the worst.
She has been claiming for the past two years that my mother beat her. My Great Aunt and my mother do not get along and it is well known. She stared by telling me that my mother beat her and that my mother always hated my father and I. My great Aunt has weighed 90 lbs. for several years, so if she had been beaten the bruises would have been more than obvious. My great Aunt also has nurses who have come in for the last 3 years to take care of her and they never saw any bruises. Now take into consideration that she decided to add onto her story the fact that my mother hated my father and me. A few weeks after she made this claim she called me with urgent news. She started off saying that my daughter was going blind because her hair was in her eyes. Suddenly mid-conversation she changed direction and told her that my daughter cried to her that my mother pulled her hair.
I of course asked my daughter if it was true. My daughter who was 8 at the time looked into my eyes and told me that Great Aunt was lying. After that my father and I had a long talk and we decided it was time to my Great Aunt into a place where she could be taken care of.
Her doctor agreed that we needed to take her in for an exam before we put her into a home. He told my father that it was good that he finally decided to put Great Aunt somewhere safe. By leaving her in her home we were bordering on being negligent. He gave her a small test where he asked her about things that happened in the county and things like her birthday and she passed it, but it by no means tested whether or not she hallucinated or fabricated huge lies to get her way.
She was furious about the move and claimed the home was doing things to her. My Uncle believed her claims and moved her into an assisted living place that she told my father she refused to move into. After that my Uncle bowed out. He created some problems by not involving my father who has DOPA in the decision or telling him that she was now saying something totally different.
Add to this mix my father's old maid cousin. She never married and never had to work hard because everything she ever had was provided for her by her parents. Until her parents death she lived with her parents and they provided for her. Now she is moving into an assisted living home herself and she wants new furnishings that she can not afford. She has been asking my Great Aunt to buy them for her.
My Great Aunt has enough money for 5 years in this Assisted Living Home, but if she totally looses her sight or can no longer walk she will have to go to a nursing home. Since she told so many wild tales about the first one she was in they will never take her back. My husband's grandparents were in the other one in that city and I can say I would die before I would allow my father to put her in there. We are looking at nursing homes on the end of the state by where I live so that I could help my father do her errands for her. All of theses nursing homes cost a lot of money every month and they will take all of her money with-in a year and a half.
My Great Aunt needs her money for herself and with that in mind my father has been very tight with her financial reigns. He will not give her money to give his cousin. (She would have never agreed to purchase several thousand dollars worth of furnishings when she had her senses about her.) This cousin is able to work Great Aunt and would come over to get Great Aunt things and then would get paid for her trouble. Since my father tightened up the reigns this cousin can't do that any more.
A few months ago this Cousin and her Nephew went to the administrator of the assisted living facility and told him that my mother was abusing Great Aunt. They told the administrator that if he did not turn in my mother for abuse they would do it plus they would turn him in as well for not reporting it. The administrator did not call my father but my Uncle and let him know. My uncle of course called my father.
The cousin and her nephew and his wife also called my uncle. The told him that my father was taking Great Aunt's money and using it for himself. That was not true and my father has the records to prove that. Also he had it set up so that the lawyer can ask for records to check them himself. They told my uncle that they were going to take over DPOA. They told my uncle that my mother tried to poison my Great Aunt when she had a very severe eye infection. They said that my mother tried to put pills down Great Aunts throat to poison her.
My father of course contacted my Great Aunt's attorney and the attorney assured him that things like this happen all the time and usually it is done by people who never did things for the elderly person before. It was usually done by people who are only doing it for the money.
My uncle told my father everything. This was before Christmas. During the first part of December the local social worker called on both my Great Aunt and my mother. She found that my Great Aunt was very hostile towards my mother, but she adored my father and me. My Great Aunt told her that she would never want to take DPOA away from my father.
The social worker asked about this supposed poisoning incident and my Great Aunt told her that my mother tried to pour a clear liquid down her throat to poison her. My Great Aunts private nurses were there and the time and they too know about the way Great Aunt lies. The nurses told the social worker that when Great Aunt told them it was first about mom putting something that burned into her eyes when she had the bad eye infection and then changed it to forcing pills down her throat the next week.
The social worker then interviewed my parents. She is the one who told them that while Great Aunt adores my father and me she holds onto a very strong dislike for my mother. She said that this little test that the doctor gave my great aunt that the cousin and her nephew wants to get a hold of to prove that my father should not be DPOA is not worth anything. She also wanted to names of the people who first made the threat to report so she could have them on file if they try it again. She also said that she found there was no abuse as the nurses were there and they reported that they never saw any marks on my Great Aunt. Everything my Great Aunt claims my mother did would have left huge bruises since Great Aunt has hardly any muscle.
We thought is was all over and put to bed, but my Uncle called last week and said that the administrator called and told him the cousin and her nephew were threatening to turn in a family member for elder abuse again. My father knew that my mother has not been there so they could not be turning in my mother, he thinks this time it is him. They also said they were going to take DPOA since my father is moving out of town. (My father is getting older and I need to start looking out for him and my mother. Also, I am in my 30's and if needed, I can drive my father to my great aunt at a moment's notice. This cousin's nephew who plans to take over Great Aunts money lives just as far away.)
This is all very hard on my father who has heart problems. (He has had two valves replaced and a double bypass.)
I need to find a way to stop these cousins once and for all before they kill my father and use up Great Aunts money forcing her into some place that would not be nice to live. I am sure that there are things I have left out, but I tried to include everything I could think of. I am at the end of my rope, please help.