CP to travel with minor child (domestic)

[microbes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

My kid's mother has visitation every other weekend. I'm starting a job for a CA company. I am to go to training for a week and a half and work remotely from then on. I told my ex that we are travelling so I made the reservations. I reminded her today and all of a sudden it's a big deal and that she's going to court tomorrow.

The decree and custody does not say anything about travelling out of state. Before making the travel arrangements I asked my ex to watch our son till I get back but she said she cant cuz she has appointments. My current wife had previous plans to see her family in Ney York that are coming from the UK. So since, my ex wasn't willing to help out, I told her that I will take him with me instead. I have family and friends where I'm going and so I can at least have a baby sitter and the days that there's no one available, I spoke to KinderCare to watch him and pay the days that he stays there.

I'm at a predicament here cuz I had already quit my job for this new one. 2 months ago, the same company offered me the job but had asked me to relocate. I declined because I knew there were going to be issues with my ex and visitations plus I didnt really wanna do that to the little guy. The company came back 2 months later and offered the same job but remotely with occasional visits to the office. That meant I'd work from home and spend more time with my kids and the obvious raise that comes along with the job.

The judge had mentioned that I can't remove the child from the state verbally but it's not in order. My understanding was removing being relocation.

Will I get in trouble if I am to travel with my child anyway? I don't wanna break any laws, there are no orders preventing me from travelling with my child. and I definitely do not want to lose custody over this.

Please advise, rip me a new one if you feel that you need to, I don't want to do the wrong thing.

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

My kid's mother has visitation every other weekend. I'm starting a job for a CA company. I am to go to training for a week and a half and work remotely from then on. I told my ex that we are travelling so I made the reservations. I reminded her today and all of a sudden it's a big deal and that she's going to court tomorrow.

The decree and custody does not say anything about travelling out of state. Before making the travel arrangements I asked my ex to watch our son till I get back but she said she cant cuz she has appointments. My current wife had previous plans to see her family in Ney York that are coming from the UK. So since, my ex wasn't willing to help out, I told her that I will take him with me instead. I have family and friends where I'm going and so I can at least have a baby sitter and the days that there's no one available, I spoke to KinderCare to watch him and pay the days that he stays there.

I'm at a predicament here cuz I had already quit my job for this new one. 2 months ago, the same company offered me the job but had asked me to relocate. I declined because I knew there were going to be issues with my ex and visitations plus I didnt really wanna do that to the little guy. The company came back 2 months later and offered the same job but remotely with occasional visits to the office. That meant I'd work from home and spend more time with my kids and the obvious raise that comes along with the job.

The judge had mentioned that I can't remove the child from the state verbally but it's not in order. My understanding was removing being relocation.

Will I get in trouble if I am to travel with my child anyway? I don't wanna break any laws, there are no orders preventing me from travelling with my child. and I definitely do not want to lose custody over this.

Please advise, rip me a new one if you feel that you need to, I don't want to do the wrong thing.

I don't think the judge is going to have a problem with you taking Junior to CA for a week and a half. You'll be back in time for Mom's visitation, won't you? This is not going to impact her visitation in any way?

 

[stealth2]

That was going to be my question - how does your trip jive with her visitation?

 

[microbes]

We return Sept 1. Her visitations are Sat Am to Sunday PM. I had already informed her that she can have her visitation Sunday am to Monday PM since its a holiday on Monday. I have been really flexible with visitations when she needs to switch schedules and I even allow for more time thanwhat's ordered.

I'm just concerned cuz when I told her 2 months ago the same company offered me a job and am deciding on whether I should take it or not cuz they require that I rellocate,she filed a motion to intervene and prevent me from rellocating with my child. I didn't even accept the job and though I thought about rellocating, I declined the offer. The motion was dismissed in court. She later on said having her motion dismissed means the judge granted her motion. The judge at the time said that if I remove the child from the state that I'd be breaking the law (VERBALLY NOT IN AN ORDER). But there isn't a law that makes it illegal to travel with your own child and there is definitely no order that is preventing me from doing so.

I will give her full disclosure of our itinerary and will make sure she still gets her calls daily.

She insists on going to court tomorrow but I really dunno what we're going there for, I will not be prepared for any motion that she files tomorrow even if for some odd reasin she gets a judge to hear her tomorrow. All I'd probably do is ask for a continuance. Emergency hearings are on Monday so I know if she goes to court tomorrow, it'll be a total waste of time.

 

[stealth2]

We return Sept 1. Her visitations are Sat Am to Sunday PM. I had already informed her that she can have her visitation Sunday am to Monday PM since its a holiday on Monday. I have been really flexible with visitations when she needs to switch schedules and I even allow for more time thanwhat's ordered.

So yes, your trip interferes with Mom's visitation. You don't get to change it unilaterally.

 

[microbes]

Does that mean then that next time she wants to switch weekends cuz she's unavailable, does that visitation just get forfeited? I offered for her to have as early as last weekend the 19th through the 1st since he'll be starting school after labor day on Sept 4. That's way more that her visits. She said she has appointments so I offered to pay for daycare for those days that she's unavailable, she still declined.

We've switched weekedns in the past and I've allowed him to spend 2 weeks with her at one time. So I have been more that flexible with visitations.

What about what the judge said, i'd be breaking the law, does that make sense? I think he thought there was a travel clause in the custody order but there isn't. Is there a general law that the non-custodial parent must give consent to travel?

 

[microbes]

btw, my ex does not drive and I do all the transpo... even if my kid stays home, I still wont be back till Saturday so I will not be available till then or Sunday morning.

 

[microbes]

So yes, your trip interferes with Mom's visitation. You don't get to change it unilaterally.

I understand this completely. not to make excuses but it's a work trip. The company is spending more for hiring me and making me travel so I tried to keep the cost down and that was the cheapest fare I could find. I am also more that willing to make it up since its a long weekend when we get back.

btw, will this break a law?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

may sure you have it documented what you offered to give mom.

If your court order is silent on out of state TRAVEL, then, you would be fine except for going on top of mom's time. The case was for relocation.

 

[stealth2]

btw, will this break a law?

Won't break a law, but it will certainly put you at risk of being found in contempt of the court order.

As for agreeing to switch when she asks - you don't HAVE to. But as the CP? I found it rarely hurt me to be flexible when the NCP asked. Whether it was reciprocated or not.

 

[nanu156]

No crystal balls

No one has a crystal ball on this... You are definitely in violation of the order for taking part or all of Mom's co Saturday. Mom could press for a "show cause" and you could possibly be found in contempt. This doesn't sound like a case of "malicious intent" or "bad faith", you did offer mom the time you would be out of town and she rejected the additional week of parenting time.

You may or may not get whacked by the judge for this, in my own experience the judge would likely tell you not to do stuff like this anymore, and would be annoyed that this even came to court. Your judge may view this differently, depending on how he is, and the history of your individual case.

It's your call dad.

The travel isn't against your co, and that is not what you could get in trouble for.

 

[AlmostThere]

You option is to find care for your child locally. Friends, family, hire a nanny, etc, to make sure he is available for his mother's visits.

And in the future, when making plans that might interfere with your ex's visitation, have her agree in writing. Does your decree say anything about what form of communication is valid for changes in visitation? (mine says electronic and US mail. )

I

 

[microbes]

No one has a crystal ball on this... You are definitely in violation of the order for taking part or all of Mom's co Saturday. Mom could press for a "show cause" and you could possibly be found in contempt. This doesn't sound like a case of "malicious intent" or "bad faith", you did offer mom the time you would be out of town and she rejected the additional week of parenting time.

You may or may not get whacked by the judge for this, in my own experience the judge would likely tell you not to do stuff like this anymore, and would be annoyed that this even came to court. Your judge may view this differently, depending on how he is, and the history of your individual case.

It's your call dad.

The travel isn't against your co, and that is not what you could get in trouble for.

The judge hates her guts and gets extremely annoyed when she brings non-sensical motions to court. The ex has an extensive history of being difficult in court in the past and was found in contempt once and the judge once ask the bailif to call security cuz she will not stop arguing with the him.

 

[microbes]

Won't break a law, but it will certainly put you at risk of being found in contempt of the court order.

As for agreeing to switch when she asks - you don't HAVE to. But as the CP? I found it rarely hurt me to be flexible when the NCP asked. Whether it was reciprocated or not.

I have never seen any reason to deny her requests in the past. I always gladly complied. I will probably keep doing it. I see it that if I refuse the switch then it's my child's time and he's the one losing out... I really could care about her's.

 

[microbes]

You option is to find care for your child locally. Friends, family, hire a nanny, etc, to make sure he is available for his mother's visits.

And in the future, when making plans that might interfere with your ex's visitation, have her agree in writing. Does your decree say anything about what form of communication is valid for changes in visitation? (mine says electronic and US mail. )

I

Believe me, if I can find someone, I gladly would have done it. I have a very small family, my brother and mom lives in the area but they all work. My wife is travelling too to see her family coming from the UK. I never thought of a nanny but I think it might be preferrable for my child to be with a parent for a week and a half than a nanny.