CP visitation rights

[LdiJ]

Ya think?

And because StepPappy is COACH-GOD?

Yeah.

While I'm at it, I could not express my complete contempt for the "value" of hi-skool and junior hi-skool sports, unless I pulled my eyes out of my head and juggled them. Waste of resources, waste of time, waste period. Yes, I know it's not a *popular* viewpoint. I care not. IMO, they're a complete waste of time that should/could be better spent studying, spending time with family, watching clouds go by, doing chores, etc. And don't bother me with the "physical fitness" argument: healthy, active children don't need skool-sports to stay healthy. They need chores.

They lead to scholarship opportunities for quite a few kids. They also keep some kids too busy to get in trouble.

However, I was never a big fan of school sports either. I always felt like they took over the children's lives and left them no "down time".

 

[tanilan]

Ugh!

Let's clarify something!

First off: There is no where in the law that says I can not get married and have a life. Our issue is not that.
Second off: My only question here was to see what the visitation pick up thing says and means.
Third: HIS FATHER DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM DOING THINGS! HE WANTS HIM TO DO THEM! HE WANTS HIM TO COMPETE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HE DID AS A KID! And we lived four blocks away and then HE MOVED!
Fourth: YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!! SO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!
Fifth: Thanks for all the help! Really answered my questions!

 

[Zephyr]

Let's clarify something!

First off: There is no where in the law that says I can not get married and have a life. Our issue is not that.
Second off: My only question here was to see what the visitation pick up thing says and means.
Third: HIS FATHER DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM DOING THINGS! HE WANTS HIM TO DO THEM! HE WANTS HIM TO COMPETE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HE DID AS A KID! And we lived four blocks away and then HE MOVED!
Fourth: YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!! SO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!
Fifth: Thanks for all the help! Really answered my questions!

tan- I did answer your question, legally...you pick up from dad's house....and if there is less than 100 miles between you, he picks up from your house (if there is more than 100 miles- you do the transport both ways)....that is the legal answer to your question until the order is modified. You cannot force dad to agree otherwise, just as he cannot force you to agree otherwise....so you must either find a middle ground that works for both of you, or follow the order...or take it back to court.

 

[Silverplum]

They lead to scholarship opportunities for quite a few kids. They also keep some kids too busy to get in trouble.

However, I was never a big fan of school sports either. I always felt like they took over the children's lives and left them no "down time".

I knew that, sooner or later, we'd agree on SOMETHING.

I don't care about scholarships -- I knew waaaaay too many sporty-types in college who learned nothing in hi-skool and nothing in college. Passed anyway, because they're sporty. It's meaningless. There's no education involved.

As far as keeping kids out of trouble? That's up to their parents, and themselves. They can stay plenty busy in the LIBRARY.

 

[Silverplum]

Let's clarify something!

First off: There is no where in the law that says I can not get married and have a life. Our issue is not that.
Second off: My only question here was to see what the visitation pick up thing says and means.
Third: HIS FATHER DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM DOING THINGS! HE WANTS HIM TO DO THEM! HE WANTS HIM TO COMPETE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HE DID AS A KID! And we lived four blocks away and then HE MOVED!
Fourth: YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!! SO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!
Fifth: Thanks for all the help! Really answered my questions!

Feel free to SCREECH that to the Judge. It'd be so fulfilling, so freeing for you.

 

[tanilan]

Well like I said you don't know me and I feel like maybe I came to the wrong place to get advice. But thanks anyway!

 

[Karana77]

First off, dad has never been an integral part of this kid's life. Other than just spending time with him, his dad has done nothing for him.

Sorry, had to speak up here and this is purely a personal observation. LUCKY for YOU!!

I currently have a father that is so far removed from his child that he didn't even bother to call her on her birthday!

If only my ex would just spend some time with his daughter. That would be nice.


Be grateful for what you have because you could have nothing at all.

 

[cyjeff]

Let me put this another way.

Court orders are just that.... orders. Not suggestions. Not guidelines. Not something to follow when you don't have anything better to do.

Orders. With the force of law behind them.

The visitation of dad comes before anything else. Because, as I have said, it is the LAW. You do not get to choose which parts of the law are to be followed and which can be modified.

If you wish a change in the visitation, only a court can do it. There have been cases where the custodial parent puts the child into activities for the sole purpose of denying visitation OR to make the NCP seem like the bad guy when the child needs to miss those activities to be with the NCP.

Honestly, I believe you are playing a game. You are trying to make the case that your child's activities should come before visitation with dad. You are wrong. Further, it is apparent that you have also informed the child that he will miss activities to be with dad. This is also very wrong.

Last but not least, your child does not get to choose what he does. You do. And, therefore, you will be held in contempt if you do not do what the court has ORDERED.

 

[cyjeff]

Well like I said you don't know me and I feel like maybe I came to the wrong place to get advice. But thanks anyway!

Think of it this way. How would you feel if he stopped paying child support because he had something better to do with the money?

Or if he signed your son up for something on every Saturday.... even though it interfered with your time with him?

 

[StampGirl]

Let's clarify something!

First off: There is no where in the law that says I can not get married and have a life. Our issue is not that.
Second off: My only question here was to see what the visitation pick up thing says and means.
Third: HIS FATHER DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM DOING THINGS! HE WANTS HIM TO DO THEM! HE WANTS HIM TO COMPETE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HE DID AS A KID! And we lived four blocks away and then HE MOVED!
Fourth: YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!! SO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!
Fifth: Thanks for all the help! Really answered my questions!

Ok I am lost!! You said earlier that YOU moved further away and NOW you say that HE moved. Which is it?

Doesn't matter though. For example: I moved an additional 30min away from my Ex. We KEEP the same schedule (well he doesn't pick up after school on Fri anymore because he took a new position at work around the same time I moved). The kids go to his house on Sat am and back home on Sun pm.

We did change the drop-off and pick-up points though. We meet both days in a MUTUAL place (well I drive a lil further but not complaining as I created the distance).

Dad didn't have issues with my move. Well he did after I moved, but our court order allows such moves and there wasn't a whole lot he could do.

Point is: YOU do what you need to do to make sure Dad has time with kiddo. You do this because YOU are the custodial parent. My kids aren't involved with extra stuff cause it would take time away from Dad. When they ask why can't I do this or that I tell them: You would miss time with your Dad and NEITHER of us want that to happen. Works for them.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

If you wish a change in the visitation, only a court can do it. There have been cases where the custodial parent puts the child into activities for the sole purpose of denying visitation OR to make the NCP seem like the bad guy when the child needs to miss those activities to be with the NCP.
.

Just look around FA. There's PLENTY of examples of both of these.

 

[Silverplum]

It's pretty sad when strangers have to teach a parent how to walk a yard, much less a mile, in someone else's shoes.

 

[tanilan]

Think of it this way. How would you feel if he stopped paying child support because he had something better to do with the money?

I wouldn't care. It isn't about the money!

Or if he signed your son up for something on every Saturday.... even though it interfered with your time with him?

He wouldn't because he would rather be spending time with his grandson (his teenage daughter has a kid). Plus the only time my son isn't available on Saturday is during cross country and even then that isn't that often.

 

[Zephyr]

He wouldn't because he would rather be spending time with his grandson (his teenage daughter has a kid). Plus the only time my son isn't available on Saturday is during cross country and even then that isn't that often.

That is beside the point tan....

 

[jbowman]

He wouldn't because he would rather be spending time with his grandson (his teenage daughter has a kid). Plus the only time my son isn't available on Saturday is during cross country and even then that isn't that often.

UMMM you took Cyjeff's post way too literal. The point is... you need to put yourself in Dad's shoes. How would it feel if you were told "Sorry, son is too busy for you... he's got soccer."? Lame.

And yes, when son is in High School, he can still be told NO if he is signing up for 657987465 activities that would potentially interfere with Dad's time. UNLESS Dad agrees.