CP visitng when NP has summer visitation

[MThomas]

Florida My husband and I have his son for the summer. The problem is when it is the Mother's weekend she finds excuses to not pick him up or why he can't come over. We have no problem taking him to her, but it is more why he can't come and not why she can't pick him up. She also never calls and only talks to him when he calls. Which is no problem long distance or not! Is there anything we can do to make her take him on her weekends. We would rather him stay with us, but he gets angrey and then causes problems with the rest of us. We taken into consideration why he is causing problems, but he is so upset it makes him sick. I think he would be happy if she just called him once in awhile. I have talked to her but i get the same excuses. If anyone has any ideas please let me know.

 

[morning_angel]

You can't <i>make</i> a parent take their visitation. Perhaps it would be better if you told the child up front that his mother may not be able to come for him during the summer, and that he can call her whenever he wants. (Don't make excuses for her, that's her department.) That way he won't be in anticipation of her visits, and if by some chance she gets her head out of her butt and decides to visit with her son, he will be happy about it, instead of upset all the rest of the time.

Good Luck!

 

[MThomas]

I know we can't maker her and trust me he knows she won't come get him. I even get upset when my husband says questions him after he has called her if she is coming to get him. My heart just breaks to see him so upset and we try very hard to make our time extra fun and give him the extra time when my children go to there Dad's. I wish I could just say something that would wake his Mother up to the pain she is causing.

 

[morning_angel]

Maybe if the father were to calmly ask her not to tell the son she is coming for him until she is <i>actually coming</i> because the child finds it very upsetting...or, if the child is old enough, have <i>him</i> tell her that he is upset when she does that.
Have the father present for moral support and let the son practice what he wants to say ahead of time so he's not nervous. That could be theraputic for him, as well. You can't do much else, but be sure to "step back" and let the father handle most of it, because otherwise, you're going to look like you're badmouthing the mother.

Good Luck!